ENTRY #1

[torino10154]

 Title: If It’s Not Television Curtis Just Doesn’t Care 

Author: ride_4ever

I am of legal drinking age in my region: Yes, and have been for decades. 

Pairing(s)/Characters: Curtis/Newbie; Lucky the cat 

Fandoms: Twitch City, Harry Potter, due South 

Challenge Prompts Used: All of them!  

Pansy Parkinson, April Showers, Greenhouse 3, Wolfsbane, Under the Stars, Bird’s Nest 

Summary: the title is a good summary. 

Rating/Warnings: Teen & Up; No Warnings Apply 

Word count: 473 

 

Curtis keeps switching television channels with the remote, desperate for something that will hold his viewing-addiction attention. There! Some Harry Potter movies! A Harry Potter movie marathon! Curtis likes when a book becomes a movie and the movie becomes a franchise. He munches happily on his bowl of Frooty-Os and passes the box to his room-mate Newbie (whose real name is Craig, but that’s another story). There’s a spring-time rain happening in Toronto, and as Newbie takes the box of Frooty-Os he says “April Showers Rain On Rogers Cell Towers. Hey, I’m a poet on the inside like that guy who looks like me on due South“. 

They get to where they’re watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Newbie says “Hey, that Pansy Parkinson….” but then he gets distracted by Lucky the cat jumping up into his lap and kneading his leg, so he never finishes that thought. Instead, he starts thinking about how hungry he is and maybe they should order some Chinese food for delivery because to him Frooty-Os is a snack, not a meal. He’s got a sudden taste for Bird’s Nest Soup – maybe from Asian Legend on Dundas? maybe from Tales of China on Spadina?    

While they’re waiting for the Chinese food delivery, they both chug their way through a six-pack of Molson’s. “Hey,” says Newbie to Curtis, “You ever hear the one about why American beer is like sex in a a canoe?” Curtis just stares at Newbie and Newbie says “Because it’s fucking close to water!” Curtis continues just staring at Newbie – if it’s not about TV it just doesn’t register with him. 

After the Harry Potter movie marathon they watch a documentary about astronomy and it really makes Newbie want to go outside and look at the sky, but Curtis is an agoraphobe and Newbie knows that he won’t be able to coax Curtis out under the stars, so they just keep watching nature documentaries and the next one is about poisonous plants with a particular focus on wolfsbane. Somehow that gets Newbie thinking about due South again because there’s something there about a wolf, no, a half-wolf. 

Then, after all those Harry Potter movies and all those documentaries, Newbie falls asleep on the couch next to Curtis, and dreams of “Greenhouse 3,” but it’s all mixed up with due South and Fraser --  and that Mountie is hot like burning. So dream!Fraser is talking about poisonous plants with Pomona Sprout and Neville Longbottom, and Newbie is getting hard in his sleep because – did we say Fraser is hot like burning? 

Newbie wakes up thinking about Fraser and Kowalski, thinking about Kowalski who looks like Newbie and thinking about Fraser with Kowalski. Newbie wakes up with his hand in Curtis’s lap…and Curtis doesn’t care. If it’s not television Curtis just doesn’t care. 

Comments

[songquake]

Way to get all the prompts in! I don’t know Twitch as a fandom, but o love the way you show us who Curtis and Newbie are :) I also love the dreamlike quality of this (like, even outside the official dream sequence.”

Great job, MA!

[ride_4ever]

Playing catch-up on comments before next month's FWF.

Thank you kindly for these lovely comments. I do have a "thing" about trying to Include All The Prompts, so I <3 you having mentioned that. I'm also happy to know that you could enjoy this fic without knowing the fandom and that you told me what you particularly loved about it.

See you next FWF!

[lq_traintracks]

I... loved this?? I don't know who these people are, but I'm on board! :D

[ride_4ever]

Playing catch-up on comments before next month's FWF.

Thank you kindly for these comments. I'm happy that even without knowing the fandom that you let me know I did give you something to love about the fic.

See you next FWF!

[a_belladonna]

I really like the repeated use of "if it's not television Curtis just doesn't care", especially because of the final line. It's both poetic and a little sad. Well done. :)

[ride_4ever]

Playing catch-up on comments before next month's FWF.

Thank you kindly for these comments, especially for telling me something specific that you liked about this fic.

See you next FWF?

\o/

[oldtoadwoman]

I really need to find where I can watch Twitch City. It totally seems like something I need to watch.

Re: \o/

[ride_4ever]

I <3 Twitch City (icon is CKR in Twitch City) and I <3 that someone wrote drunk!fic for it.

I don't know if the show is available online anywhere, and often the DVD asking price from Amazon et cetera is as high as $90-something, but "bargains" can be had now and then (earlier this year I bought a copy on Amazon for just $30).

[corvidology]

This may well be the most coherent thing I've read today! :D Great use of prompts and I really liked the ending! :D

[ride_4ever]

Playing catch-up on comments before next month's FWF.

Thank you kindly for these comments and for telling me some specific things you liked about this fic.

See you next FWF!