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firewhiskeyficTitle: Contract: fix a tub
Author:walgesang
I am of legal drinking age in my region: yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Arhtus Weaslty/Geralt of Riviva (Harry Potter, Witcher 3 (video game)
Challenge/Prompts used: Arthur Weaslty, ottery st patfhcole, plug, tink???
Summary: geratls of rivia has seen some strange contracts in his time but fixing someones tub has not been one of them good thing thins redhed is hothothot and has a fabrulouas dad bod
Rating/Warnings:naughty words bit no real hard core sex
Word count: what are words anyteima
Author's Notes: tanjkl to torina and skrr for being great bods and hosting a wondergfsul fest again. Cheers to knowing i am as much of a lightsweight as I ever was.
Geralt squinted as he looked at the notice portd. He was pretty sure people were just making up illage names again as usual. Ottery St Cathpole, where the fuck was that? He sighsd as he rupped down te notice and glanced at it again. A job was a job and things had been slow ever since that last night in Redania went down much differently thatn he had expected. Good night, that, but no coin.
"Looking for tinker who can plug my wash tub. Promise tub is clan with no craicks, kust a bit leaky. Ottery st. patchpole, A. Weasley."
Something funy about that name, Geralt mused. It just was asking to get him ni torouble. Well, trousle was not his middle name for nothing.
He whisteld for Roach but as usually the horse was stuck on a wall or something so he sdecided to walk. Ottery St. patchterpe shouldn't be too har to find, maybe near a body of water? Witcher senses would make up for any lack of directions anyway.
A few miles later he came to the town and not a plpughcyin otter in sight. Who named this fuckin' town anyway, Geralt thought. So confusing.
After looting several broken rakes, stealing some bottles of ale and enough dust to fill a dstbun Gerald managed to find the rdoor. turned out he was a little wasted that afternoon because he was disapont with such a lack of jobs. how could he be like "ahyyyyy, I'm awitcher" when work was so hard to find. And he was tierd of the ladies, they had been naoguht but trouble and Lambert was okay in the sack and all but once he got laid he would want to talk about his woes for HOURS and omg gerlt so tired of that.
"Hello?"
"I've got your notice," Gerlat said trying not to slur his words but that everluce had been really good and he had some of the drawven whisokey even though he was suppsoed to be savnig that for hs alchermy.
"OH, hello! A friendly fave creetting him but then Gerladt saw a gloer and was like ONE FUCKING MOMENT i need to pick this lfower for my achermy, i lolve flowers dpmcjta lmpw/"
"Flowerers?" the puzeld man said. "Uh, okay sure friend. Come on in when you're cone ad we'll talk about my tub."
DDID You DAY TUB elled gerlaf, there is nothig I love more than flowers than baths lemme in right now I say.
"Riiiiight," stammered the man. Geltats was notw just sober enough to notice that the man had rbight red hair and seemed a yolly sort which was a nice change for geralt because usually people were like oy witcher you jerk and frankly that was really starteding to get on his nerves. "So, my tub is over here and I'm afraid I have not tot the rght tols to mend it. I somehow arrived in your, ah, fair land and well I think I'm stuck but I do like to bathe you know.
DON"T I KNOW IT said geralt excitedly as he saw the tub. it was beaut woww it was made tof the finest oak gelrts had ever seen, he felt a tear come to his eye. he ould almost feel the steam rising from the water except there was no watter but HE WOULD FIX that by gods he needed to. he grabed the man by the collar and hoarsley said "what's your name, friend"
"Arthur!" the man yelped , looknig surprised but aroused because itsf cuking geralt and he's ta hot bou, you know.
"Rgith, I'm going to fill whatever holes need mending " said geratlt sexily
"wow," arthur said. "this is goin gbetter than i ghouthg. yo are veruly sexu but i don't know you're name?"
"hold up, you don't know about twitchers? you're not gonna say ?"oy, mutat" or "bugger you whitehaired bastard " or hey here's my favoarite "geralts of riiiivvvvvvvvvera oh that's a good one"
"all I can say tis that you're a very fine looking man and I wopuld be honored to have you in my bath," arthurs said hurugently, "but first you said you would uhhhh plug it"
awwwwwwww fuck yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa gerald said, okay this is what I need timber and grinded flower bentsals and something like that. slunds right?
"I have the wood right here" Arthur buppedl down his trousers and gerald was agog with the mysutery that was that bloke's amazing prick.
"dd you know that rowleaf makes for an amazing loob?" geralt sait
"I'll take your word for it" artur said hustily but if we wont' fix tub than how will we have this loavely soak before I fuck your brains out.
"I AM ON IT" teralf said and he fixed tha tub before you can say jake's our uncle.
"that is a fantastic job," arthus sais. He took out a stick and waved it and suddenly the tub was full of steaming scented water.
"oh fuck not atnoeht sopurcerser" geratls sgihed but oph well you're hot so let's get in.
Geralt amired arthur's fine thatch of hair on his round staomch, he looked like head fathered at least a few kids and if ther was anyone that made him upser horny it was a dad.
"I'm sort of a dad too" geralt sighed as he lowered himself nto the hot water "she's not really my jkid but she's like a daughter to me"
"that's so lovely," artur said as he reached for herlats' cock "i do love a dad"
"dads are the best"
"so wait are you really agical," gealta said as he stroked arthus cock under the staemy water " I mean you made water appwa and all."
"I'll tell you later" arthus groaned "I don't know where the bloody hell I am but this is the best thing ever"
hours later they had fucked int he tub and on the bed and geltat noticed that the hut was pretty good looking for the sorry state of the town he was in. finally gasping and expired they lay on the bed and he saw the stick that had made the water on the bed stand. geralt grabebd it and noticed that arthur had started snoring.
geralt tucked the stick into the bag that hekept becuase you know he doesn't do anyhting for free he's a WITCHERT and they need to hav vcoin . it was dark but he felt better than he had in a million trillion years.
"i'm gonna miss this tub," geralt whispered to the sleepng arthur "but i priomise i'll ocme back to orttery st pacatchpole soon to fck you again because you are fantastics. "
geralts tried to get onto roach but he was so tired ro all the fucking he stort of whimpered and the hrose lokoed at him sumpathetically.
"son'd look at me lke that I just took his stick, I left him eveyrthign else. ugh help me up you "
finally he got in the sattle and road off to his next cpmtact necaise
he'sa fucking witcher!!!
anda dad.
the endsz
Author:
walgesangI am of legal drinking age in my region: yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Arhtus Weaslty/Geralt of Riviva (Harry Potter, Witcher 3 (video game)
Challenge/Prompts used: Arthur Weaslty, ottery st patfhcole, plug, tink???
Summary: geratls of rivia has seen some strange contracts in his time but fixing someones tub has not been one of them good thing thins redhed is hothothot and has a fabrulouas dad bod
Rating/Warnings:naughty words bit no real hard core sex
Word count: what are words anyteima
Author's Notes: tanjkl to torina and skrr for being great bods and hosting a wondergfsul fest again. Cheers to knowing i am as much of a lightsweight as I ever was.
Geralt squinted as he looked at the notice portd. He was pretty sure people were just making up illage names again as usual. Ottery St Cathpole, where the fuck was that? He sighsd as he rupped down te notice and glanced at it again. A job was a job and things had been slow ever since that last night in Redania went down much differently thatn he had expected. Good night, that, but no coin.
"Looking for tinker who can plug my wash tub. Promise tub is clan with no craicks, kust a bit leaky. Ottery st. patchpole, A. Weasley."
Something funy about that name, Geralt mused. It just was asking to get him ni torouble. Well, trousle was not his middle name for nothing.
He whisteld for Roach but as usually the horse was stuck on a wall or something so he sdecided to walk. Ottery St. patchterpe shouldn't be too har to find, maybe near a body of water? Witcher senses would make up for any lack of directions anyway.
A few miles later he came to the town and not a plpughcyin otter in sight. Who named this fuckin' town anyway, Geralt thought. So confusing.
After looting several broken rakes, stealing some bottles of ale and enough dust to fill a dstbun Gerald managed to find the rdoor. turned out he was a little wasted that afternoon because he was disapont with such a lack of jobs. how could he be like "ahyyyyy, I'm awitcher" when work was so hard to find. And he was tierd of the ladies, they had been naoguht but trouble and Lambert was okay in the sack and all but once he got laid he would want to talk about his woes for HOURS and omg gerlt so tired of that.
"Hello?"
"I've got your notice," Gerlat said trying not to slur his words but that everluce had been really good and he had some of the drawven whisokey even though he was suppsoed to be savnig that for hs alchermy.
"OH, hello! A friendly fave creetting him but then Gerladt saw a gloer and was like ONE FUCKING MOMENT i need to pick this lfower for my achermy, i lolve flowers dpmcjta lmpw/"
"Flowerers?" the puzeld man said. "Uh, okay sure friend. Come on in when you're cone ad we'll talk about my tub."
DDID You DAY TUB elled gerlaf, there is nothig I love more than flowers than baths lemme in right now I say.
"Riiiiight," stammered the man. Geltats was notw just sober enough to notice that the man had rbight red hair and seemed a yolly sort which was a nice change for geralt because usually people were like oy witcher you jerk and frankly that was really starteding to get on his nerves. "So, my tub is over here and I'm afraid I have not tot the rght tols to mend it. I somehow arrived in your, ah, fair land and well I think I'm stuck but I do like to bathe you know.
DON"T I KNOW IT said geralt excitedly as he saw the tub. it was beaut woww it was made tof the finest oak gelrts had ever seen, he felt a tear come to his eye. he ould almost feel the steam rising from the water except there was no watter but HE WOULD FIX that by gods he needed to. he grabed the man by the collar and hoarsley said "what's your name, friend"
"Arthur!" the man yelped , looknig surprised but aroused because itsf cuking geralt and he's ta hot bou, you know.
"Rgith, I'm going to fill whatever holes need mending " said geratlt sexily
"wow," arthur said. "this is goin gbetter than i ghouthg. yo are veruly sexu but i don't know you're name?"
"hold up, you don't know about twitchers? you're not gonna say ?"oy, mutat" or "bugger you whitehaired bastard " or hey here's my favoarite "geralts of riiiivvvvvvvvvera oh that's a good one"
"all I can say tis that you're a very fine looking man and I wopuld be honored to have you in my bath," arthurs said hurugently, "but first you said you would uhhhh plug it"
awwwwwwww fuck yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa gerald said, okay this is what I need timber and grinded flower bentsals and something like that. slunds right?
"I have the wood right here" Arthur buppedl down his trousers and gerald was agog with the mysutery that was that bloke's amazing prick.
"dd you know that rowleaf makes for an amazing loob?" geralt sait
"I'll take your word for it" artur said hustily but if we wont' fix tub than how will we have this loavely soak before I fuck your brains out.
"I AM ON IT" teralf said and he fixed tha tub before you can say jake's our uncle.
"that is a fantastic job," arthus sais. He took out a stick and waved it and suddenly the tub was full of steaming scented water.
"oh fuck not atnoeht sopurcerser" geratls sgihed but oph well you're hot so let's get in.
Geralt amired arthur's fine thatch of hair on his round staomch, he looked like head fathered at least a few kids and if ther was anyone that made him upser horny it was a dad.
"I'm sort of a dad too" geralt sighed as he lowered himself nto the hot water "she's not really my jkid but she's like a daughter to me"
"that's so lovely," artur said as he reached for herlats' cock "i do love a dad"
"dads are the best"
"so wait are you really agical," gealta said as he stroked arthus cock under the staemy water " I mean you made water appwa and all."
"I'll tell you later" arthus groaned "I don't know where the bloody hell I am but this is the best thing ever"
hours later they had fucked int he tub and on the bed and geltat noticed that the hut was pretty good looking for the sorry state of the town he was in. finally gasping and expired they lay on the bed and he saw the stick that had made the water on the bed stand. geralt grabebd it and noticed that arthur had started snoring.
geralt tucked the stick into the bag that hekept becuase you know he doesn't do anyhting for free he's a WITCHERT and they need to hav vcoin . it was dark but he felt better than he had in a million trillion years.
"i'm gonna miss this tub," geralt whispered to the sleepng arthur "but i priomise i'll ocme back to orttery st pacatchpole soon to fck you again because you are fantastics. "
geralts tried to get onto roach but he was so tired ro all the fucking he stort of whimpered and the hrose lokoed at him sumpathetically.
"son'd look at me lke that I just took his stick, I left him eveyrthign else. ugh help me up you "
finally he got in the sattle and road off to his next cpmtact necaise
he'sa fucking witcher!!!
anda dad.
the endsz
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Date: 2022-01-25 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-30 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-25 06:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-25 07:05 pm (UTC)Gerald and Arthur’s mutual enthusiasm for baths and each other was A+++.
And this story had me giggling all th way through. I too enjoyed the renaming of Shelly as skrrr—it’s tres modern!
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Date: 2022-02-01 03:47 am (UTC)Thank you so much! So glad you enjoyed and yep, I hadn't known going into this that I would also make some memorable nicknames but there you have it!
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Date: 2022-01-25 07:56 pm (UTC)torina and skrr ahaha, that is so fantastic. Thank you for the new nickname, I will treasure it!
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Date: 2022-02-01 03:49 am (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed it and I haven't even managed to finish my first playthrough of the game but love it! :D
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Date: 2022-01-25 08:19 pm (UTC)I snorted coffee out my nose! Lol. That line is hysterical. Okay time to keep reading.
Lol. I'm not familiar with the witcher but I laughed.
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Date: 2022-02-01 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-25 08:30 pm (UTC)Nice job MA and you clearly did stint on the drinks! The slowly worsening typing was hilarious.
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Date: 2022-02-01 03:50 am (UTC)Can you believe that was all on just one can of hard cider? I'm the lightest weight to ever lightweight. Thanks!
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Date: 2022-01-26 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-26 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-27 01:53 pm (UTC)"Rgith, I'm going to fill whatever holes need mending " said geratlt sexily and "I have the wood right here" Arthur buppedl down his trousers and gerald was agog with the mysutery that was that bloke's amazing prick.
That's what we like to see! :D
And the million different spellings of Ottery St Catchpole. ROFL
Fantastic!!
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Date: 2022-02-01 03:52 am (UTC)OMG trying to write that town AND Geralt's name was such a trial drunk. You mods have the best prompts! :D Thank you!!
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Date: 2022-01-28 03:54 am (UTC)Ottery St Cathpole
Ottery st. patchpole
Ottery St. patchterpe
A few miles later he came to the town and not a plpughcyin otter in sight. Who named this fuckin' town anyway, Geralt thought. So confusing.
I laughed so hard at all of this :D
DDID You DAY TUB elled gerlaf, there is nothig I love more than flowers than baths lemme in right now I say.
Pure pleasure imagining that hot Geralt
sayingslurring this! His excitement over a bathtub and a sexy dad was the greatest thing ever.This is unbelievably fun and it is dark but I feel better than I have in a million trillion years. Thank you MA!
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:54 am (UTC)I'm so very glad you enjoyed it and I had a hell of a good time writing it. I give you a million trillion thanks for this wonderful comment. :D
♥
Date: 2022-01-28 07:16 pm (UTC)Hee! And we're off!
::snerk::
This was insane and delightful and a perfect addition to Firewhiskey.
Re: ♥
Date: 2022-02-01 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-30 12:22 am (UTC)Have to stop for a moment at this line because it made me snorfle so hard: ""Looking for tinker who can plug my wash tub. Promise tub is clan with no craicks, kust a bit leaky." Ye gods, the innuendo!
"...not a plpughcyin otter in sight...." WHAT kind of otter? LOL.
Loves the flowers but loves baths even more?! *snerk moar*
Stopped again for more snorfling at "seemed a yolly sort which was a nice change for geralt because usually people were like oy witcher you jerk and frankly that was really starteding to get on his nerves."
OMG he gets teary-eyed at the beauty of the tub!
"... looknig surprised but aroused because itsf cuking geralt and he's ta hot bou, you know." Yep, I do know.
"Twitcher" instead of "Witcher"! ROFLMAO!
"I have the wood right here." Ha Ha Ha!
And excellent concluding line: "he'sa fucking witcher!!! anda dad."
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Date: 2022-02-01 03:57 am (UTC)How I managed to try to type "fucking" and got "plpughcyin," yeah. Wow, I was pretty drunk by then. Can you believe it was just one can of hard cider too? ;)
Thanks again!
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Date: 2022-02-01 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-30 10:59 pm (UTC)That's a perfect description of how some of us feel--typos and all—about our firewhiskey fics while we're in the drunken throes of composition.
I don't know this fandom at all but this drunk!fic made me laugh* a lot, thank you! Also, yay bathtub sex!
*especially this:
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 03:58 am (UTC)Thank you so much and so glad you enjoyed it! :D