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firewhiskeyficTitle: Derrign-do-dong
Author:songquake
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) YES.
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Mostly Snarry. But hints at Forest of Dean sexual shenanigans.
Challenge: I'm aiming to get at all of them. Perhaps even within the first 300 words. BINGO!!!! within 269 words!
Summary: Harry wants to prove he's brave in bed. Severus ony lets him prove it to him (though Ron and Hermione want a reprot)
Rating/Warnings: M/R for nakedness, discussion of BDSM, and fluff. and a littel bit of crack, too.
Word count: 1099
Author's Notes (if any): Somehow it turned otu snarry and fluffy and mabe a little cracky. Thanks to everyone for playing this round! sorry for the lack fo explicit porn, but it needed to end where it needed to end.
"Whta do you mean, I', not brave in bed?" Harry botter said with a hurt expression. whinging, really. Ron looked at his best mate, throgoughly unimpressed.
So did Hermione. "really, Harry. If we were to bring you iknfront of the Mirror of Erised right now, and it were to show you a ssexual scene, do you realy think it would show soemthing that showcased your dering-do?"
(I'll show YOU my derringdo! , Harry thought. Tthen he thorught better of it because even though he was drunk , he'd have to be REALLY DRUNK To show his derring do to Hermione. Bushy hair and bushy...bush were NOT his thing. No offence intended, of course. He loves women, but not in a lewd way. In a very respectiful way. Whcih involves not showing off his derring-do-dong.)
"I'm plenty brave in bed!"
"Really, then?? What have you got up to sinc eyou were last with my siter, then, meate?
"er. TRHat's privae!! "
"I rest my case! " Ron said, wavign his arm aroudn liek he wer a barrister before a judge in the telly.
...."I can assure you, Mr Weasley, that Mr Potter is indeed, brave enough in bed," the dark smokey voice of Severus Snape intoned,
"Snape! HOw did you get into ehre? I htought we only set the room or frequrirement up to accept those we were...ohhhhhh."
"Indeed. I assume that you lot were all intimately involved whilst on your sorry little campign trip?"
"Severus," Harry said. "Now is hardly the time. Even if this was to celebrate the anniversary of our Magical Night in the Forest of Dean."
"I'll have you know," Hermione said officiously, "that I was a top-knotch Girl Guide. Not my fault these goons were no good at stealth or finding food. Or pitching tents. Or finding Horcruxes..."
"OI!" Yelled both Harry and Ron.
"Well, as much as I love hearing oabut how oafis hour young men are, I do believe it's time to let Harry show me his bravery in bed, don't you thin?" Severus did not look liek he was joking. Not that he ver looked like he was joking. He was nto much of a joker tha man. *
Hermione raised an eybrow. "We won't stop taking th emickey unless you give us actuall evidence of his fabled derring-do. Pensieve is acceptable."
"Ph no, " severus said. "you wil just have to take my word for it."
And severus shustled the ROn and Hermione out of the Room of Requirement.
(I cant beleive I'm writign snarry, whoa, it's been awhile. Is this too identifying? Well, fuck it._
As soon as the door had shut behind thme, Severus Snapped his fingers adn the actual Mirror of Erised appeared, Except it was different. "I re-enchanted it," severus said. "I show you not your face but your most depraved hottest desire" it said, but backards: "erised tset toh devarp edstor mou tube afrou yton woshi" (I think that orks. I slowed down a lot to write it, but the translation came first so ou shoud understand anyway, k? K!) The mirror was covered with a flimsy cloth, demure-like, so that the desires wouldn't just ram into people's faces liek that . But Severus walked behind Harry adn said, "Let's hear aboutyour desires, hmmm?' And he pulled off the covering.
Harry looked at the mriror and started to tramble. From behind, Severus FUCK I"M GETTING LESS DRUNK I THINK IT WAS WRITING THE ERISED TRANSLATION. More booze.
okay
From behind, Severus wroapped his arms around his trambling lover. "Tell me," he rumbled in Harry's ear. "What do you see?"
Harry's skin heated below Severus's nsoe. That is, Harry's face skin heated.
becuase he was blushing. "I'm kneeling, naked in front of you," he siad. "I have some marks on my back."
"That's nto terribly embarrassing, though, is it, Pet?" Severus seaid. "That's ust another night at the club for us."
"Harry nodded. "Yes, " he said. but its what we're doing. Lots of people are gathered round, Ron and Hermione and Draco and Narcissa and ll the gang from Boys's Night at the club, are al there, and MRS WEASEY of all pwoepl. End ayou are putting aroud my neck a plantinum collar—a forever collar." Harry's voie was whispering and it carcked on the last cluse.
"A forver collar, you say?" Severus siad. "And wy is that devpraved, {et/"
"because you and I have never said swe wanted anything long-term, mcuh less permanent," Harry said, "and becuase it's shameful that I want to be so owned, so controlled, so in your power. I want ot be made to please you all the time, not just once am otnh."
HOW DID MY FWF TURN INTO FLUFF.
Severus turned Harry to him. "I might be willing to entertain this," he said. "take you on for a handfasting, year and a day, and if yo liek it, we could make it a forever collar."
Harry looked up at him, eyes bright. "Really?"
Severus smiled. "I'm beginning to regret sending your friends away; we'd need a witnes to the hadnfasting. Still, we can do it with – we can begnin as we mean to bo on, and haveit made official tomorrow." Severus took harry's hadn. "For a year and a day, wil you do my bidding without any hesitation?"
"I'll do my best," said harry.
"For a year and a day, will you forsake all toehrs unless i deciede to share you?"
"I will."
"For a year and a day, will you accept any discipleine I deem necesary and proper?"
"oh, YES, Severus!"
Then we shll call ourselves handfasted as Master and Pet." Severua took Harry's face in his hands and kissed him, then pushed down on his sjoulder. "Kneel."
Harry knelt.
"I want you to do the bravest thing you can think of in this moment," Severus said.
"Er, sir?" Harry said, looking nervous, biting his lip and everything like that. "Do you mean that? DO you really wnat me to do something brave? Whatif you don't like it?"
"What I don't like, Harry, is that youre hesitating." Severues's vocie ahd a bit of an edge to it. Harry gulped.
zThen he stood, stripped down, and grabbed his hardening cockw ith one hadn. with the other he snapped his finger snad music started to play througthout the room (sicne we're stil in teh room of requirement, after all). Harry started to dance, wving his Derring-do-dong at his Master.
"SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY
AND LET THE WORDS FALL OUT!
HONESTLY, I WANT TO SEE YOU BE BRAVE!"
The end.
Author:
songquakeI am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) YES.
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Mostly Snarry. But hints at Forest of Dean sexual shenanigans.
Challenge: I'm aiming to get at all of them. Perhaps even within the first 300 words. BINGO!!!! within 269 words!
Summary: Harry wants to prove he's brave in bed. Severus ony lets him prove it to him (though Ron and Hermione want a reprot)
Rating/Warnings: M/R for nakedness, discussion of BDSM, and fluff. and a littel bit of crack, too.
Word count: 1099
Author's Notes (if any): Somehow it turned otu snarry and fluffy and mabe a little cracky. Thanks to everyone for playing this round! sorry for the lack fo explicit porn, but it needed to end where it needed to end.
"Whta do you mean, I', not brave in bed?" Harry botter said with a hurt expression. whinging, really. Ron looked at his best mate, throgoughly unimpressed.
So did Hermione. "really, Harry. If we were to bring you iknfront of the Mirror of Erised right now, and it were to show you a ssexual scene, do you realy think it would show soemthing that showcased your dering-do?"
(I'll show YOU my derringdo! , Harry thought. Tthen he thorught better of it because even though he was drunk , he'd have to be REALLY DRUNK To show his derring do to Hermione. Bushy hair and bushy...bush were NOT his thing. No offence intended, of course. He loves women, but not in a lewd way. In a very respectiful way. Whcih involves not showing off his derring-do-dong.)
"I'm plenty brave in bed!"
"Really, then?? What have you got up to sinc eyou were last with my siter, then, meate?
"er. TRHat's privae!! "
"I rest my case! " Ron said, wavign his arm aroudn liek he wer a barrister before a judge in the telly.
...."I can assure you, Mr Weasley, that Mr Potter is indeed, brave enough in bed," the dark smokey voice of Severus Snape intoned,
"Snape! HOw did you get into ehre? I htought we only set the room or frequrirement up to accept those we were...ohhhhhh."
"Indeed. I assume that you lot were all intimately involved whilst on your sorry little campign trip?"
"Severus," Harry said. "Now is hardly the time. Even if this was to celebrate the anniversary of our Magical Night in the Forest of Dean."
"I'll have you know," Hermione said officiously, "that I was a top-knotch Girl Guide. Not my fault these goons were no good at stealth or finding food. Or pitching tents. Or finding Horcruxes..."
"OI!" Yelled both Harry and Ron.
"Well, as much as I love hearing oabut how oafis hour young men are, I do believe it's time to let Harry show me his bravery in bed, don't you thin?" Severus did not look liek he was joking. Not that he ver looked like he was joking. He was nto much of a joker tha man. *
Hermione raised an eybrow. "We won't stop taking th emickey unless you give us actuall evidence of his fabled derring-do. Pensieve is acceptable."
"Ph no, " severus said. "you wil just have to take my word for it."
And severus shustled the ROn and Hermione out of the Room of Requirement.
(I cant beleive I'm writign snarry, whoa, it's been awhile. Is this too identifying? Well, fuck it._
As soon as the door had shut behind thme, Severus Snapped his fingers adn the actual Mirror of Erised appeared, Except it was different. "I re-enchanted it," severus said. "I show you not your face but your most depraved hottest desire" it said, but backards: "erised tset toh devarp edstor mou tube afrou yton woshi" (I think that orks. I slowed down a lot to write it, but the translation came first so ou shoud understand anyway, k? K!) The mirror was covered with a flimsy cloth, demure-like, so that the desires wouldn't just ram into people's faces liek that . But Severus walked behind Harry adn said, "Let's hear aboutyour desires, hmmm?' And he pulled off the covering.
Harry looked at the mriror and started to tramble. From behind, Severus FUCK I"M GETTING LESS DRUNK I THINK IT WAS WRITING THE ERISED TRANSLATION. More booze.
okay
From behind, Severus wroapped his arms around his trambling lover. "Tell me," he rumbled in Harry's ear. "What do you see?"
Harry's skin heated below Severus's nsoe. That is, Harry's face skin heated.
becuase he was blushing. "I'm kneeling, naked in front of you," he siad. "I have some marks on my back."
"That's nto terribly embarrassing, though, is it, Pet?" Severus seaid. "That's ust another night at the club for us."
"Harry nodded. "Yes, " he said. but its what we're doing. Lots of people are gathered round, Ron and Hermione and Draco and Narcissa and ll the gang from Boys's Night at the club, are al there, and MRS WEASEY of all pwoepl. End ayou are putting aroud my neck a plantinum collar—a forever collar." Harry's voie was whispering and it carcked on the last cluse.
"A forver collar, you say?" Severus siad. "And wy is that devpraved, {et/"
"because you and I have never said swe wanted anything long-term, mcuh less permanent," Harry said, "and becuase it's shameful that I want to be so owned, so controlled, so in your power. I want ot be made to please you all the time, not just once am otnh."
HOW DID MY FWF TURN INTO FLUFF.
Severus turned Harry to him. "I might be willing to entertain this," he said. "take you on for a handfasting, year and a day, and if yo liek it, we could make it a forever collar."
Harry looked up at him, eyes bright. "Really?"
Severus smiled. "I'm beginning to regret sending your friends away; we'd need a witnes to the hadnfasting. Still, we can do it with – we can begnin as we mean to bo on, and haveit made official tomorrow." Severus took harry's hadn. "For a year and a day, wil you do my bidding without any hesitation?"
"I'll do my best," said harry.
"For a year and a day, will you forsake all toehrs unless i deciede to share you?"
"I will."
"For a year and a day, will you accept any discipleine I deem necesary and proper?"
"oh, YES, Severus!"
Then we shll call ourselves handfasted as Master and Pet." Severua took Harry's face in his hands and kissed him, then pushed down on his sjoulder. "Kneel."
Harry knelt.
"I want you to do the bravest thing you can think of in this moment," Severus said.
"Er, sir?" Harry said, looking nervous, biting his lip and everything like that. "Do you mean that? DO you really wnat me to do something brave? Whatif you don't like it?"
"What I don't like, Harry, is that youre hesitating." Severues's vocie ahd a bit of an edge to it. Harry gulped.
zThen he stood, stripped down, and grabbed his hardening cockw ith one hadn. with the other he snapped his finger snad music started to play througthout the room (sicne we're stil in teh room of requirement, after all). Harry started to dance, wving his Derring-do-dong at his Master.
"SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY
AND LET THE WORDS FALL OUT!
HONESTLY, I WANT TO SEE YOU BE BRAVE!"
The end.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 12:02 am (UTC)Also, yay for fluffy Snarry! :)
And Harry waving his Derring-do-dong needs to be art ASAP! *g*
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 12:56 am (UTC)This is the funnest FWF I think I've written since the one where Draco was peeing on the peacocks.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 03:24 am (UTC)Hahah, OMG, I remember that fic! *giggles*
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 12:58 am (UTC)Except for this one. SO MUCH FLUFF.
As I said to
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 12:59 am (UTC)But the deciding I needed to drink more was a bad idea. Oyyyy.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 05:33 am (UTC)He loves women, but not in a lewd way. In a very respectiful way. Whcih involves not showing off his derring-do-dong.
*giggle*
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 06:31 am (UTC)Derring-do-dong could possibly end up as my screen name at some point in the future. Just sayin.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 08:53 am (UTC)Hermione raised an eybrow. "We won't stop taking th emickey unless you give us actuall evidence of his fabled derring-do. Pensieve is acceptable."
I loved Hermione in this! The girl scouty, unimpressed, bushy good old Hermione.
The mirror was covered with a flimsy cloth, demure-like, so that the desires wouldn't just ram into people's faces liek that .
How very considerate of you, MA! :D
no subject
Date: 2017-07-28 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-28 07:50 pm (UTC)