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firewhiskeyficTitle: A high concept drunken mess
Author:sdk
I am of legal drinking age in my region: It is true, I am.
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Harry Potter: Lavender/Ron, Harry/Cho, Pansy/Hermione
Challenge/Prompts used: Lavender Brown, Madam tea shop person, plums, crazy plums, amortentia, and oh to young and stinging quote.
Summary: Thigs are weird but always for a reason.
Rating/Warnings: Rish? I wish it were properly pornyer bu t when i got to smut, i was tired lolol. SOBER ADDITION: There's quite a bit of non-con/dub-con implied. My drunk self apparently didn't think that needed a warning. WHOOPS.
Word count: 1kish
Author's Notes (if any): Look, I was going for something here, that I might should not have attempted drunk so sorry if its confusing or just silly. Hahaha. I mean, i probably wouldn’t have tried to write it sober anyway so you know, what is this author’s note and why am i not shutting up? I’m going to shut up now, thank you very much, and goodnight!
“Do you remember our first date?” Avenger said, sinking onto the sofa next to Ron in what she hoped was a sexy way. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and batted her eyes. Ron slapped his gut and burped.
“What? Back at Hogwarts. We didn’t do one proper?”
(I don’t know why Ron is sla[pping hid gut. I was reading some stuff in the comments about Ron and it just seemed appropriate. For reals.”)
“Yeah, we did! “
“You just followed me around and called me Won, Won, yeah? And gave me a blowie every now and then.”
Lavender was rather hoping to give Ron a ‘blowie’ tonight, but his eyes were glued to the wireless and his trousers were remarkably untested. Untested UNTENDED. NO. UNTENTED OMG. HE WASN’T HARD OKAY. PLEASE FINGERS COOPERATE.
“We went to Madam Puddifoot’s and you bought me tea,” Lavendar said, it ting on her sexiest of voice. “And then you kissed me and I cried.”
:No, that was Harry,” Ron said smissively.
“What? You kissed Harry and he cried?” Lavendar ‘s eyes went wide. It would explain so much.
“MNPNO,” Ron protested loudly, the tips of his ears going pink. Lavender used to find that adorable but now it was simply annoying, the plonked. He was ruining the whole night.
“That was Harry and Cho. It’s canon, Lav. How long has it been since you read the books?”
Lavender lifts. PFFTED. She didn’t lift anything. She could have lifted her top if Ron showed the slighted st bit of interest, instead of just listening to the stupid Quidditch game and who the bloody hair cared about Quidditch nowadays anyway? KBut Ron loved to relive his Kepper cloglory days, didn’t he? He wasn’t even ever very good.
“And after tea, I and the messy kissing, I slipped down under the table and gave you a blowie! Was that in your precious books?”
“I should have stayed with Hermione,” Ron grumbled.
Lavender huffed to her feet. “Well you can’t have, can you? Because she left your sorry arse.” Just as she was about to as well, Lavender fumed, picking up her purse and storming out the door. See if she could find someone else who would appreciate her a bit more and her blowies!
__
“Do you remember our first date?” Cho asked. She’d sat at the table, looking at the delicious meal Harry cooked up for them, their 5th anniversary. It smelled delicious. How many times can I use the word delicious. It was a wonderful spread of meats and things, maybe a fry up? That’s nrpobably not romantic. Just picture your favorite romantic meal and insert it here, okay?
It would have been a lovely evening, but Harry kept drifting off. Not asleep like, you see. His mind. Like he was a bit confused and woasn’t sure what he was doing there, in the flat they’d purchased together just a year ago that day.
“It was the tea shop? “ Harry asked. Cho smiled indulgently.
“Yes. Madam Puddifoot’s. It was so awkward, wasn’t it? All the crying. I’m sorry about that.”
“Yes, I remember that.”
“Omg this is the perfect moment for Dirigle Plums!” Um I guess I’ll have Cho say that nice i put it in quotes, lol.
“I don’t have any dirigible plums,” Harry said sadly.
“It’s just for the prompt, Harry,” Cho replied. “Don’t worry about that silly author. Anyway…”
“Yes anyway,” Harry said, sitting down at the table before — not before — just looking as if he wanted to stand right back up right way.
“This isn’t right…?”
“What isn’t right?” Cho asked. She wasn’t quite alarmed. Yet.
“I remember the date… and the crying and the, er, kiss. Wet. But umm, shouldn’t uh…. kGinny? Where’s Ginny? I ended up with Ginny, right? O r was it Luna?”
“Oh Harry,” Cho said. She slipped her hand in her pocket, grasping the phial that she kept with her at all times. The time between doses was getting shorter, it seemed, but she had enough Amortentia to last years, at least. “Why don’t you splash some water on your face? “
“All right,” Harry said, removing himself from the table. Once he rounded the corner to the hall, Cho stood up quickly and careful;ly tipped her phial into Harry’s tea. One drop splashed, then two. That should be enough. She stoppered it and slipped it back into her pocket, settingling into her seat again.
“That should do it,” she murmured to herself. She wasn’t quite sure why she was drugging Harry to love her, to — if she was very honest with herself. But it was right. The right thing to do. Of that, she felt the most certainly.
—-
“Do you remember our first date?” Pansy whispered into Granger’s ear. She dipped into the hollow of Granger’s throat, kissing her skin, leaving her breathe less. Their first date was much like this, at a pub, in the back alley, Granger shoved against the wall, legs spread, one knee crooked around Pansy’s hip, her hands fisting Pansy’s blouse to hold on. Pansy slipped her fingers into Granger’s heat and signed into her. It was always like coming home.
Yeah, shed had to make some adjustment s to get here, in this place. Had to edit the canon, as it were. A spell here, a whisper there, clearing her way to Granger. It’s and — it had started out almost a lark. She was sure once she’d had Granger once, maybe twice, Pansy would have grown tired of her. Righted the path, struck out on a new one.
But feeling Granger tremble and fall apart in her arms — five years on and it never got old.
“Ah to be young and feel love’s keen sting.” She murmured. She lifted her head to catch Hermione’s post-orgasm drowsy eyes, her dreamy smile.
“Did you ask me something?” Granger said.
“No, my live, let’s go home.”
THE END. OF SOMETHING. IDEK.
Author:
sdkI am of legal drinking age in my region: It is true, I am.
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Harry Potter: Lavender/Ron, Harry/Cho, Pansy/Hermione
Challenge/Prompts used: Lavender Brown, Madam tea shop person, plums, crazy plums, amortentia, and oh to young and stinging quote.
Summary: Thigs are weird but always for a reason.
Rating/Warnings: Rish? I wish it were properly pornyer bu t when i got to smut, i was tired lolol. SOBER ADDITION: There's quite a bit of non-con/dub-con implied. My drunk self apparently didn't think that needed a warning. WHOOPS.
Word count: 1kish
Author's Notes (if any): Look, I was going for something here, that I might should not have attempted drunk so sorry if its confusing or just silly. Hahaha. I mean, i probably wouldn’t have tried to write it sober anyway so you know, what is this author’s note and why am i not shutting up? I’m going to shut up now, thank you very much, and goodnight!
“Do you remember our first date?” Avenger said, sinking onto the sofa next to Ron in what she hoped was a sexy way. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and batted her eyes. Ron slapped his gut and burped.
“What? Back at Hogwarts. We didn’t do one proper?”
(I don’t know why Ron is sla[pping hid gut. I was reading some stuff in the comments about Ron and it just seemed appropriate. For reals.”)
“Yeah, we did! “
“You just followed me around and called me Won, Won, yeah? And gave me a blowie every now and then.”
Lavender was rather hoping to give Ron a ‘blowie’ tonight, but his eyes were glued to the wireless and his trousers were remarkably untested. Untested UNTENDED. NO. UNTENTED OMG. HE WASN’T HARD OKAY. PLEASE FINGERS COOPERATE.
“We went to Madam Puddifoot’s and you bought me tea,” Lavendar said, it ting on her sexiest of voice. “And then you kissed me and I cried.”
:No, that was Harry,” Ron said smissively.
“What? You kissed Harry and he cried?” Lavendar ‘s eyes went wide. It would explain so much.
“MNPNO,” Ron protested loudly, the tips of his ears going pink. Lavender used to find that adorable but now it was simply annoying, the plonked. He was ruining the whole night.
“That was Harry and Cho. It’s canon, Lav. How long has it been since you read the books?”
Lavender lifts. PFFTED. She didn’t lift anything. She could have lifted her top if Ron showed the slighted st bit of interest, instead of just listening to the stupid Quidditch game and who the bloody hair cared about Quidditch nowadays anyway? KBut Ron loved to relive his Kepper cloglory days, didn’t he? He wasn’t even ever very good.
“And after tea, I and the messy kissing, I slipped down under the table and gave you a blowie! Was that in your precious books?”
“I should have stayed with Hermione,” Ron grumbled.
Lavender huffed to her feet. “Well you can’t have, can you? Because she left your sorry arse.” Just as she was about to as well, Lavender fumed, picking up her purse and storming out the door. See if she could find someone else who would appreciate her a bit more and her blowies!
__
“Do you remember our first date?” Cho asked. She’d sat at the table, looking at the delicious meal Harry cooked up for them, their 5th anniversary. It smelled delicious. How many times can I use the word delicious. It was a wonderful spread of meats and things, maybe a fry up? That’s nrpobably not romantic. Just picture your favorite romantic meal and insert it here, okay?
It would have been a lovely evening, but Harry kept drifting off. Not asleep like, you see. His mind. Like he was a bit confused and woasn’t sure what he was doing there, in the flat they’d purchased together just a year ago that day.
“It was the tea shop? “ Harry asked. Cho smiled indulgently.
“Yes. Madam Puddifoot’s. It was so awkward, wasn’t it? All the crying. I’m sorry about that.”
“Yes, I remember that.”
“Omg this is the perfect moment for Dirigle Plums!” Um I guess I’ll have Cho say that nice i put it in quotes, lol.
“I don’t have any dirigible plums,” Harry said sadly.
“It’s just for the prompt, Harry,” Cho replied. “Don’t worry about that silly author. Anyway…”
“Yes anyway,” Harry said, sitting down at the table before — not before — just looking as if he wanted to stand right back up right way.
“This isn’t right…?”
“What isn’t right?” Cho asked. She wasn’t quite alarmed. Yet.
“I remember the date… and the crying and the, er, kiss. Wet. But umm, shouldn’t uh…. kGinny? Where’s Ginny? I ended up with Ginny, right? O r was it Luna?”
“Oh Harry,” Cho said. She slipped her hand in her pocket, grasping the phial that she kept with her at all times. The time between doses was getting shorter, it seemed, but she had enough Amortentia to last years, at least. “Why don’t you splash some water on your face? “
“All right,” Harry said, removing himself from the table. Once he rounded the corner to the hall, Cho stood up quickly and careful;ly tipped her phial into Harry’s tea. One drop splashed, then two. That should be enough. She stoppered it and slipped it back into her pocket, settingling into her seat again.
“That should do it,” she murmured to herself. She wasn’t quite sure why she was drugging Harry to love her, to — if she was very honest with herself. But it was right. The right thing to do. Of that, she felt the most certainly.
—-
“Do you remember our first date?” Pansy whispered into Granger’s ear. She dipped into the hollow of Granger’s throat, kissing her skin, leaving her breathe less. Their first date was much like this, at a pub, in the back alley, Granger shoved against the wall, legs spread, one knee crooked around Pansy’s hip, her hands fisting Pansy’s blouse to hold on. Pansy slipped her fingers into Granger’s heat and signed into her. It was always like coming home.
Yeah, shed had to make some adjustment s to get here, in this place. Had to edit the canon, as it were. A spell here, a whisper there, clearing her way to Granger. It’s and — it had started out almost a lark. She was sure once she’d had Granger once, maybe twice, Pansy would have grown tired of her. Righted the path, struck out on a new one.
But feeling Granger tremble and fall apart in her arms — five years on and it never got old.
“Ah to be young and feel love’s keen sting.” She murmured. She lifted her head to catch Hermione’s post-orgasm drowsy eyes, her dreamy smile.
“Did you ask me something?” Granger said.
“No, my live, let’s go home.”
THE END. OF SOMETHING. IDEK.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-17 01:22 am (UTC)Great use of prompts!
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 08:56 pm (UTC)Thank you so much! XD
♥
Date: 2021-02-17 02:37 am (UTC)Where’s Ginny? I ended up with Ginny, right? O r was it Luna?”
I love that I was laughing at this right as the story turned creepy.
Re: ♥
Date: 2021-03-02 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-17 08:57 am (UTC)And Lavender was awesome, I loved her
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-17 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-17 08:07 pm (UTC)I love the high-conceptness of this, and I think, despite it being drunk and typo'd, it was really successful! The Pansy/Hermione was super hot but also with that razor's edge of danger, of reality not being reality, of there being this puppet master, as it were, both you and Pansy, but you manipulating Pansy to manipulate everyone in the end.
I'm just super impressed with this. It left an uneasy prickle on my skin but also sort of the desire to reread it and experience it knowing how it ends.
Fantastic. <3
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 09:07 pm (UTC)Thank you for the sweet comment! It made me really happy when it popped up in in my inbox. <3
no subject
Date: 2021-02-18 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 09:11 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for this comment! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! And that I made you laugh LOL! :D
no subject
Date: 2021-02-18 04:08 pm (UTC)I loved the Pansy/Hermione at the end! *fans self*
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 09:12 pm (UTC)Thank you! :D
no subject
Date: 2021-02-19 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 09:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-19 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 09:15 pm (UTC)ahahahah, yes, OBVIOUSLY. XD
OMG I'm so glad you pointed out blowies because I don't know why that came to mind, but it would not leave and I just kept typing it and going, omg that sounds ridiculous, but I couldn't stop myself. Jack Daniels, it's all Jack Daniels' fault.
Thank you! XD ♥
no subject
Date: 2021-02-20 06:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-21 04:05 am (UTC)And then it got creepy as fuck, but also sort of still really funny which just made it creepier. So, yeah, well done!
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 11:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-21 04:54 am (UTC)I'm assuming that was an autocorrect? Well it's so damn good--I can't decide if I want to interpret it as Lavender is avenging something awful done unto her or if she has joined the Marvelverse with her X-men level superpowers of witchiness blended with wolfiness.
The high-concept bit works really well! I love how confused Ron and Harry are and how the further in we get, the more sinister it all seems. "Editing the canon," indeed.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 11:11 pm (UTC)Thank you so much! :DDD
no subject
Date: 2021-02-23 12:41 am (UTC)Just picture your favorite romantic meal and insert it here, okay? Stuff like this had me rolling on the floor. I am officially a future fwf participant. :D
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 11:12 pm (UTC)Thank you!! <3