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firewhiskeyficTitle: sueductive slytherins
Author:sdk
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yepp
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: HARRY POTTER featuring NERVILE, BLIASE, HERMIONE KSPANSY, DRACO, AND HARRY HIMSELF. BUT MAINLY NEVIRVLE. WHY AM I CASPLLCOKED.
Challenge/Prompts used:Nerville! HGrimmauld Place, Devil's Snare, blocked floo and of course, there is only one bed. Of course. I'm writing these downe in the hops they all show up, weeeeeeeeeeeee.
Summary: There's only one bed.
Rating/Warnings: Pag-13 cuz it's suggestive. Also there are tentacles. I'm sorry it should be nc-17 but i didn't have the strength.
Word count: 1Kish
Author's Notes (if any): first 1K i've written since thi whole quarantine thing started. Thank fuck, thought i'd forgotten how to write. Guess I just needed the boozer!
Girmmauld Place. ZTwas depressing, wasn't it? Still, even after the war, even after Harry said he'd been working on fixing it up, the wallpaper was peeling, the smell of mould lingered in the air. But at least the elves heads were gone aling with the screaming portrait. Okay, the portrait was probably still there, but i imagine that by this time, whenever this time, is, which i'm not quite sure about but everyone is an adult and it's post war okauy, but i'm sure harry somehow managed tho silence the bloody thing, right? Deer ol aunt whateveryhernamewas.
Wait, has Neville ever been to grimmauld place? Because i'm writing this in his POV but now i can't remember. I probably should reread the books at some opont. It's been eyars. And who can google while drinking? I don't know.
So neville is in Grillmmauld Place. He was called by Harry, and now he's stuck. Just here to chewck out a problem with the Devil's Snare in the basement, namely, that there's Devile's Snare in the basement and that's no good, right? some cropped up and it shouldn't be there at all, but now the house is in lockdown and Harry's telling him there's nothing to be done about it but sit and wait.
"Sorry, nerville." Harry shook his head sadly. :"The house has its quirks ever since Fildesou was broken. 'Ve been working with her, but she does want she wants and if she senses danger, we're stuck for the duration.
"Fanfucking tastic." Naveill said quite uncharacteristically. That was probably more me saying that. I don't know if Nevile would actually say that honestly. He's a good bloke.
But there's slytherins here. Butbecause the author wants them to be nad hasn't quite figured out why???? But that's just the way it okay.
"BVut why is Malfoy here?" Neville asked, completely pissing off the author because the author doens't know yet.
"He needed a cup of sugar."
"Andy Pansy?" Or er, parkinson? Would Neville call her Pansy? Pwho knows. Scertinaly not me. But Pansy was there, sitting on a charmed blanket on the floor in front of the Floo, while Hermione poked and prodded at the unresponsive blocked Floo. with her wand. Probably using magic. Because it's Hermione, right? Pansy had a calm look on her face. Not really. I mean she wasn't upset but what am I trying to say? Pansy is not happy being stuck in athe moldy gross Grimmauld Place, but hs'e snot exactly UNHAPPY to be stuck with Hermione, if you know what I mean... So that's the look she had on her face. Neville recognized it because it's the look he had on his face when he saw Zaboini earlier but he's not admitting that to anyone.
"WQhere is Zabini, by the by?" Nerville hasked?
"Why do you care?" Draco Malfoy said inserting his angular face into the conversation where it was very much not wanted thank you very much. Nevill e scowled.
"Never mind that," Harry said. "We should talk about sleeping arrangements. I'm afraid there's nonly one bed." he directed this to Malfooy but before he could answer, Neville piped up.
"You've loads of bedrooms, Harry."
Harry signed adn went on as if Neville hadn't said anything at all.
"I'm not sleeping on the floor, Potter," Draco replied.
"We'll just have to share then, I'm afraid." Harry said.
"Harry, you have loads of bedrooms. Like 500." Neville exclaimed. I've forggoten grammer bytw. Sorry for the lack of commas where they are supposed to be.
"Ugh, fine," Malfoy said.
"Have you not heard of transfiguration?" Neville called after them, but they were already heading up to the second floor, and Neville rolled his eyes. Ignored again. Stupid diiots.
He went only to the lounge living room place where the floo was? Wait, the floo is probably in the kitchen right? Well, let's just say there's one in a living room. Because the's where Hermione and pansy are right now. And Neville has come in a flopped on the sofa.
z"There's only one bed," Neville said. Pansy smiled, just a little, and it didn't last long. Neville almost questioned whether she had smiled at all.
"We've called the couch," Hermione stated.
"Who's ewe?" Neville raised his eyebrows.
"We meaning Granger and I," Pansy answered for her tossing her dark locks over one shoulder. Did Hermione just lick her lips at the sight?
"But…. I mean, surely you can tringsifure it…" Neville said, though he wasn't so certain with the strange way everyone was behaving .
"Of course," Hermione looked at him like HE was the diiot. "We're not going to stuff ourselves onto the sofa together."
At least one person was sane in this house, Neville tough, though he doubted himself as soon as Hermione pointed her wand at him. "Now if you don't mind…."
"OH," Neville said. Jumping up off the sofa just in time before Hermione said her incantation and the sofa turned in on itself before popping forth into a perfectly made single bed.
Not een a double. A single.
"Going to make another/?"
"Why would I do that?" Hermione asked him, genuinely confused.
"Oh, run along, Neerville," Pansy made a little swishing motion with her hand to swish him out of the room. Neville opened his mouth to protest but then wondered why he should bother? Clearly everyone had gone mad. He left the room, looking back once to catch a glimpse of Pansh slipping her hand into Hermione's anddsleading haer to the impoassibly tiny bed.
Nevillade sighed. He grbed dhis own wand and decided to head down to the basement to take are fo the Daevile's Snare problem because thaast's why he was there after all and maybe waonce he was done, this would all be ove.
But inadtead of Devil's Snare, he found blaise. Correction. He found Bliase and the Devil's Snare. Balise was laying across, fully enveloped but wasn't in any distress. The tentacles slithered along hi s body just squeezing lightly here and there, bringing coos of satisfaction from bliase's lips. Lolol what am i writing right now?? Coos of satisfaction yesssss.
Neville's jaw dropped.
Bliase finally seemed to notice him and he smiled wickedly .
"Don't worry, Malinda is very well behaved."
"Yhisi s your Devil's Snare?" Neville asked once h ea could form a coherent thought.
"Yes."
"And you've namned her?" Neville asked as if that was the real shocking thing about ehe whole situation.
"Yes," Bliase answered. The tentacles unwodund from one side of his body, and bliase patted the spot next to him in invitation. The Devils snare pulsed in anticipatopn. "Don't worry, she won't hurt you. Far from it."
lNevilles took a tentative step forward. A tentacle licked at his ankle, making him shver.
"After all, where else are you going to sleep?"
"There's only one bed," Neville said quietly.
"That's right," blaise said, reaching fro Neville as he sank down into the Mlalinda's slithering embrace. "Ther'es only one bed."
THE END.
Author:
sdkI am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yepp
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: HARRY POTTER featuring NERVILE, BLIASE, HERMIONE KSPANSY, DRACO, AND HARRY HIMSELF. BUT MAINLY NEVIRVLE. WHY AM I CASPLLCOKED.
Challenge/Prompts used:Nerville! HGrimmauld Place, Devil's Snare, blocked floo and of course, there is only one bed. Of course. I'm writing these downe in the hops they all show up, weeeeeeeeeeeee.
Summary: There's only one bed.
Rating/Warnings: Pag-13 cuz it's suggestive. Also there are tentacles. I'm sorry it should be nc-17 but i didn't have the strength.
Word count: 1Kish
Author's Notes (if any): first 1K i've written since thi whole quarantine thing started. Thank fuck, thought i'd forgotten how to write. Guess I just needed the boozer!
Girmmauld Place. ZTwas depressing, wasn't it? Still, even after the war, even after Harry said he'd been working on fixing it up, the wallpaper was peeling, the smell of mould lingered in the air. But at least the elves heads were gone aling with the screaming portrait. Okay, the portrait was probably still there, but i imagine that by this time, whenever this time, is, which i'm not quite sure about but everyone is an adult and it's post war okauy, but i'm sure harry somehow managed tho silence the bloody thing, right? Deer ol aunt whateveryhernamewas.
Wait, has Neville ever been to grimmauld place? Because i'm writing this in his POV but now i can't remember. I probably should reread the books at some opont. It's been eyars. And who can google while drinking? I don't know.
So neville is in Grillmmauld Place. He was called by Harry, and now he's stuck. Just here to chewck out a problem with the Devil's Snare in the basement, namely, that there's Devile's Snare in the basement and that's no good, right? some cropped up and it shouldn't be there at all, but now the house is in lockdown and Harry's telling him there's nothing to be done about it but sit and wait.
"Sorry, nerville." Harry shook his head sadly. :"The house has its quirks ever since Fildesou was broken. 'Ve been working with her, but she does want she wants and if she senses danger, we're stuck for the duration.
"Fanfucking tastic." Naveill said quite uncharacteristically. That was probably more me saying that. I don't know if Nevile would actually say that honestly. He's a good bloke.
But there's slytherins here. Butbecause the author wants them to be nad hasn't quite figured out why???? But that's just the way it okay.
"BVut why is Malfoy here?" Neville asked, completely pissing off the author because the author doens't know yet.
"He needed a cup of sugar."
"Andy Pansy?" Or er, parkinson? Would Neville call her Pansy? Pwho knows. Scertinaly not me. But Pansy was there, sitting on a charmed blanket on the floor in front of the Floo, while Hermione poked and prodded at the unresponsive blocked Floo. with her wand. Probably using magic. Because it's Hermione, right? Pansy had a calm look on her face. Not really. I mean she wasn't upset but what am I trying to say? Pansy is not happy being stuck in athe moldy gross Grimmauld Place, but hs'e snot exactly UNHAPPY to be stuck with Hermione, if you know what I mean... So that's the look she had on her face. Neville recognized it because it's the look he had on his face when he saw Zaboini earlier but he's not admitting that to anyone.
"WQhere is Zabini, by the by?" Nerville hasked?
"Why do you care?" Draco Malfoy said inserting his angular face into the conversation where it was very much not wanted thank you very much. Nevill e scowled.
"Never mind that," Harry said. "We should talk about sleeping arrangements. I'm afraid there's nonly one bed." he directed this to Malfooy but before he could answer, Neville piped up.
"You've loads of bedrooms, Harry."
Harry signed adn went on as if Neville hadn't said anything at all.
"I'm not sleeping on the floor, Potter," Draco replied.
"We'll just have to share then, I'm afraid." Harry said.
"Harry, you have loads of bedrooms. Like 500." Neville exclaimed. I've forggoten grammer bytw. Sorry for the lack of commas where they are supposed to be.
"Ugh, fine," Malfoy said.
"Have you not heard of transfiguration?" Neville called after them, but they were already heading up to the second floor, and Neville rolled his eyes. Ignored again. Stupid diiots.
He went only to the lounge living room place where the floo was? Wait, the floo is probably in the kitchen right? Well, let's just say there's one in a living room. Because the's where Hermione and pansy are right now. And Neville has come in a flopped on the sofa.
z"There's only one bed," Neville said. Pansy smiled, just a little, and it didn't last long. Neville almost questioned whether she had smiled at all.
"We've called the couch," Hermione stated.
"Who's ewe?" Neville raised his eyebrows.
"We meaning Granger and I," Pansy answered for her tossing her dark locks over one shoulder. Did Hermione just lick her lips at the sight?
"But…. I mean, surely you can tringsifure it…" Neville said, though he wasn't so certain with the strange way everyone was behaving .
"Of course," Hermione looked at him like HE was the diiot. "We're not going to stuff ourselves onto the sofa together."
At least one person was sane in this house, Neville tough, though he doubted himself as soon as Hermione pointed her wand at him. "Now if you don't mind…."
"OH," Neville said. Jumping up off the sofa just in time before Hermione said her incantation and the sofa turned in on itself before popping forth into a perfectly made single bed.
Not een a double. A single.
"Going to make another/?"
"Why would I do that?" Hermione asked him, genuinely confused.
"Oh, run along, Neerville," Pansy made a little swishing motion with her hand to swish him out of the room. Neville opened his mouth to protest but then wondered why he should bother? Clearly everyone had gone mad. He left the room, looking back once to catch a glimpse of Pansh slipping her hand into Hermione's anddsleading haer to the impoassibly tiny bed.
Nevillade sighed. He grbed dhis own wand and decided to head down to the basement to take are fo the Daevile's Snare problem because thaast's why he was there after all and maybe waonce he was done, this would all be ove.
But inadtead of Devil's Snare, he found blaise. Correction. He found Bliase and the Devil's Snare. Balise was laying across, fully enveloped but wasn't in any distress. The tentacles slithered along hi s body just squeezing lightly here and there, bringing coos of satisfaction from bliase's lips. Lolol what am i writing right now?? Coos of satisfaction yesssss.
Neville's jaw dropped.
Bliase finally seemed to notice him and he smiled wickedly .
"Don't worry, Malinda is very well behaved."
"Yhisi s your Devil's Snare?" Neville asked once h ea could form a coherent thought.
"Yes."
"And you've namned her?" Neville asked as if that was the real shocking thing about ehe whole situation.
"Yes," Bliase answered. The tentacles unwodund from one side of his body, and bliase patted the spot next to him in invitation. The Devils snare pulsed in anticipatopn. "Don't worry, she won't hurt you. Far from it."
lNevilles took a tentative step forward. A tentacle licked at his ankle, making him shver.
"After all, where else are you going to sleep?"
"There's only one bed," Neville said quietly.
"That's right," blaise said, reaching fro Neville as he sank down into the Mlalinda's slithering embrace. "Ther'es only one bed."
THE END.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-28 06:17 pm (UTC)The authorial commentary is one of my favorite things about FWF, and you had me giggling right along with you and poor, clueless Neville.
"And you've namned her?" Neville asked as if that was the real shocking thing about ehe whole situation.
BOL
10/10 to all of this, would giggle again
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:06 pm (UTC)So glad I made you laugh! I giggled quite drunkenly while writing. Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2020-07-28 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-29 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-29 02:41 am (UTC)And nah, you don't need to reread the books. I think you've got everything down.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:08 pm (UTC)Haha, thank you!
no subject
Date: 2020-07-29 03:15 am (UTC)This is some excellent meta, well done.
"BVut why is Malfoy here?" Neville asked, completely pissing off the author because the author doens't know yet.
Yeah, screw you Neville. Read the room.
"There's only one bed," Neville said quietly.
This… should not be as sexily resigned as it actually is.
I love how everybody else refuses to listen to Neville's sensible suggestions throughout it all. It builds perfectly to the ending!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:09 pm (UTC)Thank you so much!
🍹
Date: 2020-07-29 03:56 am (UTC)Google is what always sidetracks my sober fic.
Bwahaha!
Hee!
Yay! Hermione gets to have fun!
Hee!
Re: 🍹
Date: 2020-08-02 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-29 12:41 pm (UTC)well done MA
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-29 06:26 pm (UTC)"He needed a cup of sugar." *wipes tears*!!!
And omg, the same Harry from story #5 ended up here as well!!!!! This Harry:
thr’e’s not other way we an travel you know,” said harry
“i’m not sure that true...” started neville.
“No othe way!!” insisted harry.
Does he not bear a striking resemblance to your own Harry who is all:
I'm afraid there's nonly one bed." he directed this to Malfooy but before he could answer, Neville piped up.
"You've loads of bedrooms, Harry."
Harry signed adn went on as if Neville hadn't said anything at all.
Apparently, this is a really strong canonical character trait of Harry James Potter, because dude is everywhere! :DDDD
Also, I think your Grimmauld place is the same as #6's because the prevailing issue seems to be, Grimmauld place, man, it be what it be. *DIES LAUGHING*
I loved all the asides! I can't quote them all; I'd run out of characters!
This was absolutely hilarious, I can't!!! (And that's actually a really good ending?? Like it wraps up perfectly! Omg pun not intended! 'Wraps up'. Ha!)
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:16 pm (UTC)Ha! I actually, once I reread what I wrote in the sober light of day, thought it 'wrapped' up quite well myself. :)
Thank you for this comment! You are just way too kind! ♥
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:23 pm (UTC)YES!!!! LOLOL!!! Omg that's even funnier that you only now realized I was comparing your Grimmauld place to my own! :D *cries*
And you're welcome! It was an excellent entry in so many ways! ♥
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 04:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 08:39 am (UTC)"BVut why is Malfoy here?" Neville asked, completely pissing off the author because the author doens't know yet.
Hahahhaa!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:21 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-31 04:17 pm (UTC)Great work, MA!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:23 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-01 11:30 pm (UTC)Cue the porn? BUT WAIT! Neville's the star of this one!
I love how Neville is the only one in the story who can problem-solve. And his eventual acquiescence to the inevitable.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 10:24 pm (UTC)Thank you so much!