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firewhiskeyficTitle:Birthday Boy
Author:ruinsplume
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) hahahaha yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Sirius/everybody
Challenge:the birthday boy
Summary:sirius gets kissed by everyone for his eighteenth birthday.
Rating/Warnings:M
Word count:3400
Author's Notes (if any):a lot of tequila. also sirius and I share a birthday week.
well, they all know waht he wants for his birthday. there are annoyed comments from half the tower about how they don’t want gryffinwhore!sirius but the other half of the tower is all for it. I mean com e on, is it hsi fault he’s fucking sex ona stick knifeblade cheekbones mouth that looks made for cocksucking those thick lashed eyes that badboy vulnerability jesus remus is fuckkng lucky you can hear the awllpaper saying it ffs, so around one a.m. (echinically not hsi birthday, but who cares) the tecuila comes out (about fucking damn time htank you) and the people who dont’ ant do do it somhow fanish thorigh the portrailt hole or up to their beds and hwo is left:
James
Remus
Peter
Sirius (duh)
Marlene
Lily
Frank
Alice
dorcas
Ok. here we go then. Kisses from aeveryone.
Marlene’s first. She’s got a reputation, more to do with her brassiness than with the amoutn of sex she has, which is actualy not much because waht she wants actualy wants she hadnn’t figured out quite how to get. (which is dorcas but that’s another story. ) She steps up to sirius, nearly as tall as he is, and tugs on the loose end of his leather belt, pulling him aganst her. Sirus laughs in her hair, puts his arms loosely around her waist. Her breasts pressonto his chest but not insistently which he likes, the pressure but not insisiting on it. her mouth not too lipsticked as most of it is around the rims of varous glasses littering the common room. they kiss and it’s as a kiss should be. soft and promising nothing but its own sweetness which it delivers with just the faintes wisp of tongue, her mouth warm on his and then gone, suddenluy gone. he would have liked a moment longer but she’s gone, marlene’s like that.
Frank and Alice. You’d htink they’d hang back but it occurs to them simlutanously that the drunker sirius gets the more hands are going to go the more pacleacs and they’re already for each other like a poem is , frank and alice, and they go up together, and maybe if they were ten years older they’d be having this conversation oin bed: “do you ever fancy,...you knw....invigting someone to join us? “ but they;re only seven teen. sirius has just turned eithhgeen. the’yre blusing furiously both of them as if they share one circulatory sisytem and maybe they do. franks’ no prude, it’s 1978, he’s got the ziggy stardust album, he can do this. especially if he’s holding alice’s hand. Alice besiee him, he stands in front of sirius and he squeezes alice’s hand and sirius leans forward and fuck, their lips are actually touching, he’s kissing a bloke. he holds alice’s hand harder. sirius’s lips are soft and the stubbel on his upper lip feels like frank’s own. is this how it feels to alice? he wants to be alice feeling frank kissing her. he wants to feel everyting alice feels, that’s how much he loves her. he lwans into sirius, and sirius slips his tongue inside and fraink is alice, tasting frank, the brush of stubble rush on his lips and inside softness. His hand is being squeezedhard and then he’s suddenluy frank again and alice is looking at him funny.
your turn, he says, blushing and not even sure why.
Alice. well after that she’s going to kiss Sirius somehow more than she’d planned. she is a mixture of jealous and titillated and afraid, as if the hogwarts satiarcase just moved in her first year and all she could do was hold on to the banister as it swung her across all that space. she holds onto sirius’s arms, okay she’s gripping his arms liek a banister and mayb etha’s why he sort of falls into her, but instead of stpeping back she teps forward and then he’s allup against her and okay that’s his cock against her hip and he’s hard iand is this right well her mouth seems to have decided it is becuase she’s kissing him. she’s kissing someone whoh’s not frank, and the staircase is swinging her away from gryffingdor tower, swinging her out of the ccastle entirely, sirius’s hands on her waist and she’s upside-dowon, ooking down at the astronomy tower thorugh the wrong end of a telescope. when she opens her eyes and draws back herknicker s are wet. she turns to frank. she’s mortified, she’s turned on, she’s upside-down. the only thing they know to do is fall into cah other, after tha. Sirius black is a magnet that disrupts all compasses. their needles are spinning and where is true north. frank and alice stupble back from sitrirus, stumble into each other. stupmble out of the portrait hole and down to the room of requirement. it is this night that they fuck for the first time. It is on the anniversary of this night the followign year that their only son is conceived.
James. Fuck. James. oyu could fill a page with his name—jamesjamesjamesjamesamewskldfkjads;lfjd;las and thta’s how it would end up. skdfj;dslfajds;las just that. He stands in front of sirius. Grinning a shit-eating grin that says sirius knows exaclty waht. says, are we dogin going to kiss in such a way that everyone will know you’ve been sucking me off since fifth year, or are we going to pretend we aren’t that kind of friends adn I’l shriek aftrwards.
jSirius fixes him with a look. like, fuck you adn your prick both, prongs. I expect the kiss i’m owed and no t a millimeter of tongue less.
Does Lily know aobut this? yes, but not because James ahs told her. Seh and Remus have decided together that they have more power in knowing but not telling than in confrontation. Lily stands up and gives James a shove. A man the fuck up James, sjhove. An, if you expect me to put out you better do the same.
James knows waht the shove means. he’s not fucking stupid. he’s a boy who likes getting his cock sucked by his best friend, especialy given that sirius is pretty much ready to put out any time and lily is more circumspect with her affections. but wait—sirius has realized at the same time James has that ist’s time for anotyher shot of tequila because things are getting entirely too coherent and it would be much better for every0one if they can claim drunkenness. theypour the shots. they lick the back of their hands. they duste them with salt. they pick up te limes.
salt lick (ah, Prongs!)
shot slam
lime suck
mouth press
OH go on then: just fuckkng go for it. Sirius wraps his arms aroun James and Jamse doesn’t stop him. James’s arms around sirius as well, well fuck it hten, he can blame it on the tequila later go for it, sirius’s cock through his jeans right against James’s and fuck but he’s hard, his hips canting in and fuck he loves lily but there’s something about sirius isnt’there? Sirius’s magic in shi mouth in his cock in his hiar. sirius’s fingers in his hair, on his arse, pulling him in. sirius whispering in his mouth it’s about time you kissed me, mate, so he does, he kisses him and something opens up inside James just then, deepr and wider than he’d thought and it’s something about how much he loves this bloke. it’s something about how sirius lets james shoot off in his mouth, and he isnt’ ashamed of it, and that’s like some space james could actually go and live in the way sirius lived in james’s room all last summer. like a place hemight actually like to visit just to exhale in relief.
when they break apart there’s some laughter and catcalling and James has got a fucking wand in the front of his jeans, and he doens’t bother to hide it, he just ruffles his hair and sort of shrugs, his cheeks pink but his mouth grining and then he turns back and kisses sirius again ion the ckeeh, just to show fuck you all.
some kind of ripple of relaxation goes through the room then. Like , if james did it it must be okay. And sirius turns his head toward lily, because it was first frankthenalice so surely it should be jamesthenlily but lily just tilts her head back and grins at him, and the entire room understands all at once that Lily is not interested in being a retroactive beard for James’s homo fumblings, thankyou very much, that if and when she kisses sirius black it will be because she fucking wants to herself and not becuase she’s preserving her boyfriend’s heteroxexuality. And then Peter is tanding in front of sirius, face flushed, blond hair falling in his eyes.
Peter. Christ, Peter. He’s actually a good-lookkngboy. did you know that? If you took him away from james and sirius’s sides and plunked him own in the middle of King’s road in different clothes, you’d look at him and say, he’s kind of cute. more than kind of. his bright blue eyes, alive in his face. his skin the kind people call porcelain. soft, soft, soft. a roundness to him, a sweetness to him, like a pastry you really want to eat, but with tea, not whisky. Maybe that’s the reason he doens’t get more. “some hufflepuff girl” like it’s very nice-nice, there isn’t anything dirtyy about it it’s more like lace doilies and a sofa, it’s never liek bondage adn blindfolds and begging. It makes peter angry, that he’s doilies and not dildoes, that that’s what people see. He didn’t ask for htat. he didn’t. And when he satans in fron t of sirius (okay, fuck there’s a typo) when he STANDS in frong of sirius that’s more or less what he’s thinking, his anger at being the sofa while sirius gets to be the bondage gear, and other feelings about seeing James and sirius kiss, like hjasn’t he been just as good a friend, so why is it James who always gets to be on the receiving end of sirius’s considerable generositiy and not him?
It’s a good questoin, and one that Sirus can’t answer except by kissing Peter the longest sweetest slowest kiss of the evening so far. A kiss that starts soft and turns hard and dark and tequila on sirius’s breath and in his saliva which is in Peter’s mouth. and Peter is feeling ten thousand things and he doesn’t know what they are. and he has to break the kiss because he can’t understand waht’s happening in him and then the kiss is done. and he didn’t want it to be done but he doens’t know how to ask for it back and suddenly he’s furius at sirius and he has to turn away befgor he punches him in his stupid face and suddenly he’s near tears.
Dorcas. Okay. dorcas is a bulldagger. Precisely one person in the common room knows this word (Remus) but in the same way that the tree still makes noise when it falls in the forest, unnamed Dorcas still is what she iss. Rooted. Uncuttable. Massively broad and not a broad at all. She pushes herself off the widnow sill she’s been leaning against and saunters across the commong room to where sirius is stnading infront of the firplace. she puts her hands on her hips and looks up at him, grinning, challenging.
It is 1978. No one in the room (not even Remus) has the words for what is happening in the space between Dorcas’s frank, not unsexual gaze at sirius, and sirius’s decidedly sexual and equally frank gaze back at Dorcas. it will be another decade before the word queer slips into the lexicon in any way that might apply here, another two dcecades before a space exists that is wider thant the ten inches between their two boides in wihch tehy night understant the source of their attreadtingon attraction not in their genders or the fuckiing with theriof, but in the embodiment of queerness itself.
What is unimpeachably clear—so clear it hurts deliciously, like pulling off a bandage, like ripping off a ragged fingernail, like the edge of an orgasm—is that there is sexual chemistry between them, between the butch dyke and the fey boy. Sirius widens his legs, so that his head becomes level with hers without his having to stoop, wihtout her having to stand on tiptoe. they kiss with their heads on the same level, dorcas’s hand snaking around Sirius’s back. her leg parting his, pusihng him back. she kisses him and dips him back ward and sirisu liets himself be dipped. she won’t let him fall. her mouth on his like a signature, like discharge papers, a signed release. You can, her kiss says, do whatever the fuck you want. I plan to. You should too.
Lily. Hey, girl. Somehow JAMES acts liek a conduit between Lily and Sirus. they share James which leaves them feeling as if they know each other better than they actually do. Sirus feels ab it like khe’s fucked lily by proxy as it were, and lily seems to feel the same way, and she’s laughting, her wide mouth dimpling her cheeks, her red hair spilling in her eyes and her small (so small!) body before him and then she jups up and sirus catches her and her legs are arond sirius’s waist. He holds her to him and stomps around the common room, lily hangin gon. they beign sining the hogwarts school song, but they fuck it up, not so much because they’re drunk but because the don’t give a fuck about getting it rignt. Once they’ve made the compelete curciut (hoggy wearty warty warts or something like that, to the tune of whta ? ) and are back in front of the fireplace, sirius leans in. She smells good, lily does, in a girl sort of way.
“Hey, Lils,” Sirius says. or soemithg equally meaningless. but the fact that he’s saying anytying at all is remarkaable. He’s pretty pissed by now. And so it comes out very intimate.
“Hayyppy birthday, Sirius Black,” Lily answers.
And of course james is on tboth their tongues is int he air between them. James is the cake they’re both sharing. “Hve some cake,” says sirius.
“don’t mind if I do,” says Lily. She tightens her thighs around his waist and kisses him. he tastes liek drunk James except he’s sirius. And kind of sweet, and yeah , she’s thought about it, I mean who hasn’t. Mmmmmm, she says. in his moiuth. He suck s her tongue in and holds it a second then lets his lips flutter open soft against hers as he runs his hands up and down her spine, the kiss breaking into ripples over her skin. Mmmm, he says, like a promise of soemthing. But the prpmise is James. It’s James thaey’ve each made the promoise to, separately, and so they let eheri bodies part again. their mojths come apart and lily loosens her legs and slips doen to the foloor, their bodies slidong together as they separeate.
Well. All eyes on the one person who’s left, then. Remus, leaning against the wall beside the spot where dorcas was leaning before it was her turn. but dorcas is stiing on the floor beside Marlene now and Remus is alone on the outside wall besid ethe window and all eyes (minus Frank and Alice, who left) are on him. He doesn’t move. He’s leaning against the wall with his knee bent, one foot flat against the wall as if he might push off at any moment and propel himself over to the fireplace and sirius but he doesn’t. Remus, shabby handsome tall sandy-haired, quiet until he’s not, smart careful always watching, watching, watching. Remus watches sirius and sirius, the magnet, the birthday boy, the star brighter than true north, wheels through the night sky of hte common room and leavs his post by the fireplace where he’s been kissed and kissed and kissed on his eighteenth birthday. He crosses the room, one step at a time. The room adn all its inhabitants–even the portraits—hold their breaths.
It’s one thing to be kissed by everyone in a game. It’s quite another to cross the room toward one person, especially when that person is Remus Lupin. Sirius steps one step at a time toward the quiet shabby handsome boy leaning agaisnt the wall on the toerh side of the room. Until he’s standin gbefore him.
Hey, sirius syas.
Hey, remus answers.
You’d have thoguht he’d be shy, scared, one of them would be babbling becasue although they’ve done it before it’s always been ounder coer of drunkenness or desperation and with secrecey around them heavier even than the Hogawardts drapes around the beds.
“I saved you for last,” Sirus says softly.
I wanted you to, Remus answers.
“Moony,” Sirius says, leaning in, his lips brushing Remus’s ear, “take me to bed.”
“In front of everybody, you mean,” Remus answers. his heart doing a leap his body didn’t konw he could make. All evening he’s been watching and weighing himself against each other one, each body in front of Sirus, tangled up in Sirius. And now it seems as if each person was simply a stepping stone Sirus needed to cross to arrive at this moment, in which he stands in fron to fRemus and tells the world, and not even in words but in motion, in flesh, that it was Remus all along.
“That’s exactly what I mean,” Sirius says. He slips his hand in Remus’s. he brings his other hand to Remus’s cheek. It’s the gesture of a lover, not a drunken adolescent.
Remus closes his eyes for a moment. Just to be sure he’s not dreaming. Just to be sure he’s realy here. Tequilia dizzying the air like the aftermath of candle smoke from sirius’s cake when they all sang to him. He opens his eyes and Sirius, his—okay, his boyfriend, he’s going to let himself think it—is standing in front of him, asking with his eyes for Remus to claim him, in front of all their friends.
“Happy birthday, then,” Remus says, and with his face burning and his heart exploding in his chest, he kisses the bloke he’s in love wiht in front of everyone without letting go of his hand. He pushes off the wall then, and wiht his fingers entwined ins sirus’s’s, he starts across the common rooom to the stairs.
“Good night and thank you for coming,” he calls out over his shoulder, but it might as well be sirius and I are goin gto shag now, so please leave.
They don’t, though, not yet. They are all watching as Remus and Sirus ascend the staircase to the beds.
Sirius goes up the stairs frst and doesn’t look back onec e. remus watches Sirius’s arse in front of him adn tat the top REmus turns just to see for himself that the whole room is watching. It is, and whatever is jealous in Remus goes drifting off like an old leaf in the lake—too flimsy to make a boat out of. Remus is the shore and now he knows it. Sirius will always come back to land right here. Sirus turns on the stiars to capture both Remus’s hands in his, then leans over Remus’s hosulder to blow a kiss to the upturned faces of those below, their faces shining in the firelight as if they were candles.
Remus wraps his hands around Sirus’s waist and pullls him closek, kissing him again. He kisses through all the other kisses of the evening until it’s onlhy sirius he an taste. Sirus grinds agasint him, matching his body. shoulders touching, bellies, touch ing. cocks, hard, grinding agaisnt each other. toes.
“come on then,” sirus murmurs, his hands all over remus as if Remus is a gift Sirius has got to tear the wrappings off of this instant. He steers Remus backward through the doorway to the bed and everyo other kiss is forgotten, like the embers of the fire that no longer needs stoking, now taht they’re tumbled in bed together beneath the blankets, unwrapping each other to get to the finer heat, the gift of naked skin.
Author:
ruinsplumeI am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) hahahaha yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Sirius/everybody
Challenge:the birthday boy
Summary:sirius gets kissed by everyone for his eighteenth birthday.
Rating/Warnings:M
Word count:3400
Author's Notes (if any):a lot of tequila. also sirius and I share a birthday week.
well, they all know waht he wants for his birthday. there are annoyed comments from half the tower about how they don’t want gryffinwhore!sirius but the other half of the tower is all for it. I mean com e on, is it hsi fault he’s fucking sex ona stick knifeblade cheekbones mouth that looks made for cocksucking those thick lashed eyes that badboy vulnerability jesus remus is fuckkng lucky you can hear the awllpaper saying it ffs, so around one a.m. (echinically not hsi birthday, but who cares) the tecuila comes out (about fucking damn time htank you) and the people who dont’ ant do do it somhow fanish thorigh the portrailt hole or up to their beds and hwo is left:
James
Remus
Peter
Sirius (duh)
Marlene
Lily
Frank
Alice
dorcas
Ok. here we go then. Kisses from aeveryone.
Marlene’s first. She’s got a reputation, more to do with her brassiness than with the amoutn of sex she has, which is actualy not much because waht she wants actualy wants she hadnn’t figured out quite how to get. (which is dorcas but that’s another story. ) She steps up to sirius, nearly as tall as he is, and tugs on the loose end of his leather belt, pulling him aganst her. Sirus laughs in her hair, puts his arms loosely around her waist. Her breasts pressonto his chest but not insistently which he likes, the pressure but not insisiting on it. her mouth not too lipsticked as most of it is around the rims of varous glasses littering the common room. they kiss and it’s as a kiss should be. soft and promising nothing but its own sweetness which it delivers with just the faintes wisp of tongue, her mouth warm on his and then gone, suddenluy gone. he would have liked a moment longer but she’s gone, marlene’s like that.
Frank and Alice. You’d htink they’d hang back but it occurs to them simlutanously that the drunker sirius gets the more hands are going to go the more pacleacs and they’re already for each other like a poem is , frank and alice, and they go up together, and maybe if they were ten years older they’d be having this conversation oin bed: “do you ever fancy,...you knw....invigting someone to join us? “ but they;re only seven teen. sirius has just turned eithhgeen. the’yre blusing furiously both of them as if they share one circulatory sisytem and maybe they do. franks’ no prude, it’s 1978, he’s got the ziggy stardust album, he can do this. especially if he’s holding alice’s hand. Alice besiee him, he stands in front of sirius and he squeezes alice’s hand and sirius leans forward and fuck, their lips are actually touching, he’s kissing a bloke. he holds alice’s hand harder. sirius’s lips are soft and the stubbel on his upper lip feels like frank’s own. is this how it feels to alice? he wants to be alice feeling frank kissing her. he wants to feel everyting alice feels, that’s how much he loves her. he lwans into sirius, and sirius slips his tongue inside and fraink is alice, tasting frank, the brush of stubble rush on his lips and inside softness. His hand is being squeezedhard and then he’s suddenluy frank again and alice is looking at him funny.
your turn, he says, blushing and not even sure why.
Alice. well after that she’s going to kiss Sirius somehow more than she’d planned. she is a mixture of jealous and titillated and afraid, as if the hogwarts satiarcase just moved in her first year and all she could do was hold on to the banister as it swung her across all that space. she holds onto sirius’s arms, okay she’s gripping his arms liek a banister and mayb etha’s why he sort of falls into her, but instead of stpeping back she teps forward and then he’s allup against her and okay that’s his cock against her hip and he’s hard iand is this right well her mouth seems to have decided it is becuase she’s kissing him. she’s kissing someone whoh’s not frank, and the staircase is swinging her away from gryffingdor tower, swinging her out of the ccastle entirely, sirius’s hands on her waist and she’s upside-dowon, ooking down at the astronomy tower thorugh the wrong end of a telescope. when she opens her eyes and draws back herknicker s are wet. she turns to frank. she’s mortified, she’s turned on, she’s upside-down. the only thing they know to do is fall into cah other, after tha. Sirius black is a magnet that disrupts all compasses. their needles are spinning and where is true north. frank and alice stupble back from sitrirus, stumble into each other. stupmble out of the portrait hole and down to the room of requirement. it is this night that they fuck for the first time. It is on the anniversary of this night the followign year that their only son is conceived.
James. Fuck. James. oyu could fill a page with his name—jamesjamesjamesjamesamewskldfkjads;lfjd;las and thta’s how it would end up. skdfj;dslfajds;las just that. He stands in front of sirius. Grinning a shit-eating grin that says sirius knows exaclty waht. says, are we dogin going to kiss in such a way that everyone will know you’ve been sucking me off since fifth year, or are we going to pretend we aren’t that kind of friends adn I’l shriek aftrwards.
jSirius fixes him with a look. like, fuck you adn your prick both, prongs. I expect the kiss i’m owed and no t a millimeter of tongue less.
Does Lily know aobut this? yes, but not because James ahs told her. Seh and Remus have decided together that they have more power in knowing but not telling than in confrontation. Lily stands up and gives James a shove. A man the fuck up James, sjhove. An, if you expect me to put out you better do the same.
James knows waht the shove means. he’s not fucking stupid. he’s a boy who likes getting his cock sucked by his best friend, especialy given that sirius is pretty much ready to put out any time and lily is more circumspect with her affections. but wait—sirius has realized at the same time James has that ist’s time for anotyher shot of tequila because things are getting entirely too coherent and it would be much better for every0one if they can claim drunkenness. theypour the shots. they lick the back of their hands. they duste them with salt. they pick up te limes.
salt lick (ah, Prongs!)
shot slam
lime suck
mouth press
OH go on then: just fuckkng go for it. Sirius wraps his arms aroun James and Jamse doesn’t stop him. James’s arms around sirius as well, well fuck it hten, he can blame it on the tequila later go for it, sirius’s cock through his jeans right against James’s and fuck but he’s hard, his hips canting in and fuck he loves lily but there’s something about sirius isnt’there? Sirius’s magic in shi mouth in his cock in his hiar. sirius’s fingers in his hair, on his arse, pulling him in. sirius whispering in his mouth it’s about time you kissed me, mate, so he does, he kisses him and something opens up inside James just then, deepr and wider than he’d thought and it’s something about how much he loves this bloke. it’s something about how sirius lets james shoot off in his mouth, and he isnt’ ashamed of it, and that’s like some space james could actually go and live in the way sirius lived in james’s room all last summer. like a place hemight actually like to visit just to exhale in relief.
when they break apart there’s some laughter and catcalling and James has got a fucking wand in the front of his jeans, and he doens’t bother to hide it, he just ruffles his hair and sort of shrugs, his cheeks pink but his mouth grining and then he turns back and kisses sirius again ion the ckeeh, just to show fuck you all.
some kind of ripple of relaxation goes through the room then. Like , if james did it it must be okay. And sirius turns his head toward lily, because it was first frankthenalice so surely it should be jamesthenlily but lily just tilts her head back and grins at him, and the entire room understands all at once that Lily is not interested in being a retroactive beard for James’s homo fumblings, thankyou very much, that if and when she kisses sirius black it will be because she fucking wants to herself and not becuase she’s preserving her boyfriend’s heteroxexuality. And then Peter is tanding in front of sirius, face flushed, blond hair falling in his eyes.
Peter. Christ, Peter. He’s actually a good-lookkngboy. did you know that? If you took him away from james and sirius’s sides and plunked him own in the middle of King’s road in different clothes, you’d look at him and say, he’s kind of cute. more than kind of. his bright blue eyes, alive in his face. his skin the kind people call porcelain. soft, soft, soft. a roundness to him, a sweetness to him, like a pastry you really want to eat, but with tea, not whisky. Maybe that’s the reason he doens’t get more. “some hufflepuff girl” like it’s very nice-nice, there isn’t anything dirtyy about it it’s more like lace doilies and a sofa, it’s never liek bondage adn blindfolds and begging. It makes peter angry, that he’s doilies and not dildoes, that that’s what people see. He didn’t ask for htat. he didn’t. And when he satans in fron t of sirius (okay, fuck there’s a typo) when he STANDS in frong of sirius that’s more or less what he’s thinking, his anger at being the sofa while sirius gets to be the bondage gear, and other feelings about seeing James and sirius kiss, like hjasn’t he been just as good a friend, so why is it James who always gets to be on the receiving end of sirius’s considerable generositiy and not him?
It’s a good questoin, and one that Sirus can’t answer except by kissing Peter the longest sweetest slowest kiss of the evening so far. A kiss that starts soft and turns hard and dark and tequila on sirius’s breath and in his saliva which is in Peter’s mouth. and Peter is feeling ten thousand things and he doesn’t know what they are. and he has to break the kiss because he can’t understand waht’s happening in him and then the kiss is done. and he didn’t want it to be done but he doens’t know how to ask for it back and suddenly he’s furius at sirius and he has to turn away befgor he punches him in his stupid face and suddenly he’s near tears.
Dorcas. Okay. dorcas is a bulldagger. Precisely one person in the common room knows this word (Remus) but in the same way that the tree still makes noise when it falls in the forest, unnamed Dorcas still is what she iss. Rooted. Uncuttable. Massively broad and not a broad at all. She pushes herself off the widnow sill she’s been leaning against and saunters across the commong room to where sirius is stnading infront of the firplace. she puts her hands on her hips and looks up at him, grinning, challenging.
It is 1978. No one in the room (not even Remus) has the words for what is happening in the space between Dorcas’s frank, not unsexual gaze at sirius, and sirius’s decidedly sexual and equally frank gaze back at Dorcas. it will be another decade before the word queer slips into the lexicon in any way that might apply here, another two dcecades before a space exists that is wider thant the ten inches between their two boides in wihch tehy night understant the source of their attreadtingon attraction not in their genders or the fuckiing with theriof, but in the embodiment of queerness itself.
What is unimpeachably clear—so clear it hurts deliciously, like pulling off a bandage, like ripping off a ragged fingernail, like the edge of an orgasm—is that there is sexual chemistry between them, between the butch dyke and the fey boy. Sirius widens his legs, so that his head becomes level with hers without his having to stoop, wihtout her having to stand on tiptoe. they kiss with their heads on the same level, dorcas’s hand snaking around Sirius’s back. her leg parting his, pusihng him back. she kisses him and dips him back ward and sirisu liets himself be dipped. she won’t let him fall. her mouth on his like a signature, like discharge papers, a signed release. You can, her kiss says, do whatever the fuck you want. I plan to. You should too.
Lily. Hey, girl. Somehow JAMES acts liek a conduit between Lily and Sirus. they share James which leaves them feeling as if they know each other better than they actually do. Sirus feels ab it like khe’s fucked lily by proxy as it were, and lily seems to feel the same way, and she’s laughting, her wide mouth dimpling her cheeks, her red hair spilling in her eyes and her small (so small!) body before him and then she jups up and sirus catches her and her legs are arond sirius’s waist. He holds her to him and stomps around the common room, lily hangin gon. they beign sining the hogwarts school song, but they fuck it up, not so much because they’re drunk but because the don’t give a fuck about getting it rignt. Once they’ve made the compelete curciut (hoggy wearty warty warts or something like that, to the tune of whta ? ) and are back in front of the fireplace, sirius leans in. She smells good, lily does, in a girl sort of way.
“Hey, Lils,” Sirius says. or soemithg equally meaningless. but the fact that he’s saying anytying at all is remarkaable. He’s pretty pissed by now. And so it comes out very intimate.
“Hayyppy birthday, Sirius Black,” Lily answers.
And of course james is on tboth their tongues is int he air between them. James is the cake they’re both sharing. “Hve some cake,” says sirius.
“don’t mind if I do,” says Lily. She tightens her thighs around his waist and kisses him. he tastes liek drunk James except he’s sirius. And kind of sweet, and yeah , she’s thought about it, I mean who hasn’t. Mmmmmm, she says. in his moiuth. He suck s her tongue in and holds it a second then lets his lips flutter open soft against hers as he runs his hands up and down her spine, the kiss breaking into ripples over her skin. Mmmm, he says, like a promise of soemthing. But the prpmise is James. It’s James thaey’ve each made the promoise to, separately, and so they let eheri bodies part again. their mojths come apart and lily loosens her legs and slips doen to the foloor, their bodies slidong together as they separeate.
Well. All eyes on the one person who’s left, then. Remus, leaning against the wall beside the spot where dorcas was leaning before it was her turn. but dorcas is stiing on the floor beside Marlene now and Remus is alone on the outside wall besid ethe window and all eyes (minus Frank and Alice, who left) are on him. He doesn’t move. He’s leaning against the wall with his knee bent, one foot flat against the wall as if he might push off at any moment and propel himself over to the fireplace and sirius but he doesn’t. Remus, shabby handsome tall sandy-haired, quiet until he’s not, smart careful always watching, watching, watching. Remus watches sirius and sirius, the magnet, the birthday boy, the star brighter than true north, wheels through the night sky of hte common room and leavs his post by the fireplace where he’s been kissed and kissed and kissed on his eighteenth birthday. He crosses the room, one step at a time. The room adn all its inhabitants–even the portraits—hold their breaths.
It’s one thing to be kissed by everyone in a game. It’s quite another to cross the room toward one person, especially when that person is Remus Lupin. Sirius steps one step at a time toward the quiet shabby handsome boy leaning agaisnt the wall on the toerh side of the room. Until he’s standin gbefore him.
Hey, sirius syas.
Hey, remus answers.
You’d have thoguht he’d be shy, scared, one of them would be babbling becasue although they’ve done it before it’s always been ounder coer of drunkenness or desperation and with secrecey around them heavier even than the Hogawardts drapes around the beds.
“I saved you for last,” Sirus says softly.
I wanted you to, Remus answers.
“Moony,” Sirius says, leaning in, his lips brushing Remus’s ear, “take me to bed.”
“In front of everybody, you mean,” Remus answers. his heart doing a leap his body didn’t konw he could make. All evening he’s been watching and weighing himself against each other one, each body in front of Sirus, tangled up in Sirius. And now it seems as if each person was simply a stepping stone Sirus needed to cross to arrive at this moment, in which he stands in fron to fRemus and tells the world, and not even in words but in motion, in flesh, that it was Remus all along.
“That’s exactly what I mean,” Sirius says. He slips his hand in Remus’s. he brings his other hand to Remus’s cheek. It’s the gesture of a lover, not a drunken adolescent.
Remus closes his eyes for a moment. Just to be sure he’s not dreaming. Just to be sure he’s realy here. Tequilia dizzying the air like the aftermath of candle smoke from sirius’s cake when they all sang to him. He opens his eyes and Sirius, his—okay, his boyfriend, he’s going to let himself think it—is standing in front of him, asking with his eyes for Remus to claim him, in front of all their friends.
“Happy birthday, then,” Remus says, and with his face burning and his heart exploding in his chest, he kisses the bloke he’s in love wiht in front of everyone without letting go of his hand. He pushes off the wall then, and wiht his fingers entwined ins sirus’s’s, he starts across the common rooom to the stairs.
“Good night and thank you for coming,” he calls out over his shoulder, but it might as well be sirius and I are goin gto shag now, so please leave.
They don’t, though, not yet. They are all watching as Remus and Sirus ascend the staircase to the beds.
Sirius goes up the stairs frst and doesn’t look back onec e. remus watches Sirius’s arse in front of him adn tat the top REmus turns just to see for himself that the whole room is watching. It is, and whatever is jealous in Remus goes drifting off like an old leaf in the lake—too flimsy to make a boat out of. Remus is the shore and now he knows it. Sirius will always come back to land right here. Sirus turns on the stiars to capture both Remus’s hands in his, then leans over Remus’s hosulder to blow a kiss to the upturned faces of those below, their faces shining in the firelight as if they were candles.
Remus wraps his hands around Sirus’s waist and pullls him closek, kissing him again. He kisses through all the other kisses of the evening until it’s onlhy sirius he an taste. Sirus grinds agasint him, matching his body. shoulders touching, bellies, touch ing. cocks, hard, grinding agaisnt each other. toes.
“come on then,” sirus murmurs, his hands all over remus as if Remus is a gift Sirius has got to tear the wrappings off of this instant. He steers Remus backward through the doorway to the bed and everyo other kiss is forgotten, like the embers of the fire that no longer needs stoking, now taht they’re tumbled in bed together beneath the blankets, unwrapping each other to get to the finer heat, the gift of naked skin.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-24 02:48 pm (UTC)Thank you for the kind words! I did clean it up and posted it on AO3 as a regular not!drunk!fic.