ENTRY #1

[torino10154]

Title: Sirius Collared
Author: reg_flint
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Sirius alck, Servus DSnape
Challenge: Bonfrie Night
Summary: Severus delivers a brthday presetn from Regulus to Sirus.
Rating/Warnings: pretty incoherent, too much humour
Word count: 400 exactly, by accident
Author's Notes (if any): Who does Sirius least want to see on his birthdya?

The full moon hung overhead like a white fanged frisbee. Sirius gazed at it, wondering when the rest f the maurauders wold arive on the Astromonu Tower. Help him bring in another great year at Higwarts. Sirius listened keenly for the telltae steps James took. No, this person wasn’t booted, the steps sounded as if slighter build , the sound more like prowling.ltch

Who was coming? It wasn Filch. Filch shuffled. Then at the top of the sstairs x who shoud appear but the last one he wanted, Severus Snape.

“What you up to, Snivwelus?”

“Birthdya greetings from Reguslus. He’s in the Hospital wing as you surely know. Potter transfigured hsis shoukders into cacti. I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am he de;egated the task to me, because I really czre.” The sarcasm was so cutting it may as well have been Sectumsempts.

Severysx toosed a package to Sirius. Sirius caught it with a calculating glance at Severus. Severus smiled his thin lipped smile and said “It’s like Regulus said, you should have been in Slytherin, you were born to it. Just not in the Common Roo,. I still couldn t stand you eben there.”

“I go by Dumbledore not Reguls and Dumbeldore says that it doesnt a,tter WHAT someone is born, but what they grwo to be. Not some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts.”

“Open the box. I promised Regulus....”

“Very well!” Sirius growled. He ripped off the silver and emeragld wrappig paper, and opened hte box.

“What? How? Why? What the...” Sirius spluttered, then gained control of humslef. “We have two greyhounds, what do I do with one leash?”

“Wear it. It’s too small for gerthounds. There is a leash under that paper.” Sirius stared, ans Severus retyrned the look with a shrewd, lopsxided smirk. “Why not hold it for Lupin? Why not weazr it ypurself? I’m quite certain you will have quute a night in Gryffindor tweer. Parade it around the Gryffinfie Comon Rooom. To be fair, that kind of thing happens in the Slyteruin Comon Room quite often, we’re just messengers.¨

Severus’ smile was so crooked it looked like it would fall off hus face. “Happy Birthday.” He seemed to glide down the stairs and out of sighr.

Sirius just stared, rather than jinxing him. “That it will be, Snivelly. That it wil/” he said.

Comments

[kiertorata]

I don't know why this line got me so badly, but I totally LOLled at "Filch shuffled". :DD

Severus, or should I say Severysx, delivered a perfect amount of sarcasm and sass. Wish I could write him so well even sober! :D

[reg_flint]

Thanks for commenting. Severus is someone who knows what I think, and who I can get a inner picture. Too bad it took ,e until 2006 to really trust him.I made all the excuses but that got me nowhere. It's better with acceptance of the fact that I like him because he is, and I'm an, asshole. LOL.

[lq_traintracks]

The full moon hung overhead like a white fanged frisbee.

You had me from the start of this! LOL! I loved your Snape's voice too and his... insinuations that leashes and collars are common features in the Slytherin common room?? If I understood him right? :D

[reg_flint]

Yes, the Slytherin Common Room, all those haughty sexier-than-thou, kinky folk need something to do so low under the castle.

[sdk]

Not some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts. Oh gosh this is my favorite line, drunk or no! Also I loved that Snape walked like a prowling itch. LOL And the white fanged frisbee is awesome! So many gems here!

[reg_flint]

Aww, thanks!

[tjs_whatnot]

Snivwelus

Hahaha! That is what I will think of whenever I read fic from now on! ♥

[reg_flint]

nooooooooooooo Sirius uses it as a marauder but I'd hate to contribute to the name-calling James first set on Severus.
-die hard Snape fan.

[songquake]

The moon like a white fanged frisbee!
“some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts”!
Tales of leashed Slytherins!

But my very FAVORITE is the image of Regulus with his shoulders transfigured into cacti.

AMAZEBALLS. Thanks, MA!

[songquake]

Also, "The sarcasm was so cutting it may as well have been Sectumsempts." *dies laughing*

[reg_flint]

Glad you like my overfilled bag of snark.

[reg_flint]

Yay! Someone noticed poor Reggie's condition!

[alisanne]

Ooh, love your Severysx voice here. SO sassy! ;)
That also is my fave spelling of his name. *g*
Great job!

[reg_flint]

Thanks so much! =)

[ruinsplume]

Not some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts.”

This is my new favorite insult.

it seems entirely fitting that Snape should be tasked with being the messenger who delivers Sirius's BDSM equipiment. He probably secretly asked for the job!

[reg_flint]

I was going to write that Regulus was thinking he was daring Severus to do it, and Severus was vying for the job. So darn accurate. That's what comes of consorting with another dadaist.

[gin_tonic]

Awww poor Reguluas, what with his shoulders becoming cacti.

But it sounds like Sirius really liked the present! :D

[reg_flint]

He made a real stir in Gryffindor Tower. Imagine that every Marauder switched it up.

Thanks for thinking of Reggie and his prickly shoulders. =)

[l1z]

The fanged moon is so poetic :')
Potter transfigured hsis shoukders into cacti.
Typical frikkin' Potter!

I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am he de;egated the task to me, because I really czre.” The sarcasm was so cutting it may as well have been Sectumsempts.
Loved this!

I didn't get if you also imply a relationship between Snape and Regulus, but I really loved the atmosphere of promiscuity that you built around the Slytherin house!

[reg_flint]

In my view Regulus would be friends only with Snape. The slash is possible but I think Regulus is too much of a pureblood supremacist to have anything to do with a "half blood Prince."
Let your imagination pair them, whatever is fine.