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Title: Sirius Collared
Author:
reg_flint
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Sirius alck, Servus DSnape
Challenge: Bonfrie Night
Summary: Severus delivers a brthday presetn from Regulus to Sirus.
Rating/Warnings: pretty incoherent, too much humour
Word count: 400 exactly, by accident
Author's Notes (if any): Who does Sirius least want to see on his birthdya?
The full moon hung overhead like a white fanged frisbee. Sirius gazed at it, wondering when the rest f the maurauders wold arive on the Astromonu Tower. Help him bring in another great year at Higwarts. Sirius listened keenly for the telltae steps James took. No, this person wasn’t booted, the steps sounded as if slighter build , the sound more like prowling.ltch
Who was coming? It wasn Filch. Filch shuffled. Then at the top of the sstairs x who shoud appear but the last one he wanted, Severus Snape.
“What you up to, Snivwelus?”
“Birthdya greetings from Reguslus. He’s in the Hospital wing as you surely know. Potter transfigured hsis shoukders into cacti. I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am he de;egated the task to me, because I really czre.” The sarcasm was so cutting it may as well have been Sectumsempts.
Severysx toosed a package to Sirius. Sirius caught it with a calculating glance at Severus. Severus smiled his thin lipped smile and said “It’s like Regulus said, you should have been in Slytherin, you were born to it. Just not in the Common Roo,. I still couldn t stand you eben there.”
“I go by Dumbledore not Reguls and Dumbeldore says that it doesnt a,tter WHAT someone is born, but what they grwo to be. Not some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts.”
“Open the box. I promised Regulus....”
“Very well!” Sirius growled. He ripped off the silver and emeragld wrappig paper, and opened hte box.
“What? How? Why? What the...” Sirius spluttered, then gained control of humslef. “We have two greyhounds, what do I do with one leash?”
“Wear it. It’s too small for gerthounds. There is a leash under that paper.” Sirius stared, ans Severus retyrned the look with a shrewd, lopsxided smirk. “Why not hold it for Lupin? Why not weazr it ypurself? I’m quite certain you will have quute a night in Gryffindor tweer. Parade it around the Gryffinfie Comon Rooom. To be fair, that kind of thing happens in the Slyteruin Comon Room quite often, we’re just messengers.¨
Severus’ smile was so crooked it looked like it would fall off hus face. “Happy Birthday.” He seemed to glide down the stairs and out of sighr.
Sirius just stared, rather than jinxing him. “That it will be, Snivelly. That it wil/” he said.
Author:
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Sirius alck, Servus DSnape
Challenge: Bonfrie Night
Summary: Severus delivers a brthday presetn from Regulus to Sirus.
Rating/Warnings: pretty incoherent, too much humour
Word count: 400 exactly, by accident
Author's Notes (if any): Who does Sirius least want to see on his birthdya?
The full moon hung overhead like a white fanged frisbee. Sirius gazed at it, wondering when the rest f the maurauders wold arive on the Astromonu Tower. Help him bring in another great year at Higwarts. Sirius listened keenly for the telltae steps James took. No, this person wasn’t booted, the steps sounded as if slighter build , the sound more like prowling.ltch
Who was coming? It wasn Filch. Filch shuffled. Then at the top of the sstairs x who shoud appear but the last one he wanted, Severus Snape.
“What you up to, Snivwelus?”
“Birthdya greetings from Reguslus. He’s in the Hospital wing as you surely know. Potter transfigured hsis shoukders into cacti. I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am he de;egated the task to me, because I really czre.” The sarcasm was so cutting it may as well have been Sectumsempts.
Severysx toosed a package to Sirius. Sirius caught it with a calculating glance at Severus. Severus smiled his thin lipped smile and said “It’s like Regulus said, you should have been in Slytherin, you were born to it. Just not in the Common Roo,. I still couldn t stand you eben there.”
“I go by Dumbledore not Reguls and Dumbeldore says that it doesnt a,tter WHAT someone is born, but what they grwo to be. Not some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts.”
“Open the box. I promised Regulus....”
“Very well!” Sirius growled. He ripped off the silver and emeragld wrappig paper, and opened hte box.
“What? How? Why? What the...” Sirius spluttered, then gained control of humslef. “We have two greyhounds, what do I do with one leash?”
“Wear it. It’s too small for gerthounds. There is a leash under that paper.” Sirius stared, ans Severus retyrned the look with a shrewd, lopsxided smirk. “Why not hold it for Lupin? Why not weazr it ypurself? I’m quite certain you will have quute a night in Gryffindor tweer. Parade it around the Gryffinfie Comon Rooom. To be fair, that kind of thing happens in the Slyteruin Comon Room quite often, we’re just messengers.¨
Severus’ smile was so crooked it looked like it would fall off hus face. “Happy Birthday.” He seemed to glide down the stairs and out of sighr.
Sirius just stared, rather than jinxing him. “That it will be, Snivelly. That it wil/” he said.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-07 10:12 pm (UTC)Severus, or should I say Severysx, delivered a perfect amount of sarcasm and sass. Wish I could write him so well even sober! :D
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Date: 2017-11-13 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-07 10:54 pm (UTC)You had me from the start of this! LOL! I loved your Snape's voice too and his... insinuations that leashes and collars are common features in the Slytherin common room?? If I understood him right? :D
no subject
Date: 2017-11-13 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-07 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-13 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-08 12:10 am (UTC)Hahaha! That is what I will think of whenever I read fic from now on! ♥
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Date: 2017-11-13 05:58 am (UTC)-die hard Snape fan.
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Date: 2017-11-08 02:53 am (UTC)“some idiot snake boy who can’t take a piss without watering the dark arts”!
Tales of leashed Slytherins!
But my very FAVORITE is the image of Regulus with his shoulders transfigured into cacti.
AMAZEBALLS. Thanks, MA!
no subject
Date: 2017-11-11 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-13 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-13 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-08 03:08 am (UTC)That also is my fave spelling of his name. *g*
Great job!
no subject
Date: 2017-11-13 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-10 12:55 am (UTC)This is my new favorite insult.
it seems entirely fitting that Snape should be tasked with being the messenger who delivers Sirius's BDSM equipiment. He probably secretly asked for the job!
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Date: 2017-11-13 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-10 10:42 pm (UTC)But it sounds like Sirius really liked the present! :D
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Date: 2017-11-13 06:04 am (UTC)Thanks for thinking of Reggie and his prickly shoulders. =)
no subject
Date: 2017-11-11 12:26 am (UTC)Potter transfigured hsis shoukders into cacti.
Typical frikkin' Potter!
I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am he de;egated the task to me, because I really czre.” The sarcasm was so cutting it may as well have been Sectumsempts.
Loved this!
I didn't get if you also imply a relationship between Snape and Regulus, but I really loved the atmosphere of promiscuity that you built around the Slytherin house!
no subject
Date: 2017-11-13 06:07 am (UTC)Let your imagination pair them, whatever is fine.