![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
torino10154 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
firewhiskeyficTitle: Choclaetgs and dcookies for everyone!!! (beieve me I wrote
the whole fic and then used the last few words as th title )
Author:
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yes yes yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Gilderoy/OC (transwitch);
RayK/Fraser from due South; Troy/Dietrich from Rat
Patrol, Chu Shuzhi/Guo Changcheng from Guardian, also Zhu
Hong/Ya Qing from Guardian, and Di Feisheng/Li Xiangyi (aka Li
Lianhua)/Fang Duobing from Mysterious Lotus Casebook,
Harris/Dietrich (NOT THE SAME DIETRIcH) from Barney Miller.
Challenge/Prompts used: Chocolate, my bloody valentine
Summary: Gilderoy hosts an event and gives out chocolates (and
cokeis to those who are allergic tochoclate)
Rating/Warnings: Mentions of making out? Maybe pg-13 jsut ind ase
Word count: 1444
Author's Notes (if any): NONE AT ALL
After Gilderoy Lockhart's surprising competence in giving out Halloween
cgifts the year before, the Powers that Be at St. Mungo's decided to put
him in charge of a social event to welcome people--crazy peole, that
is--wow, that's rude, how about mentally disconnected people? -- anyway,
loonies -- from other fandoms/universes/imaginary places -- into the St.
Mungo's commuity.
Gilderoy did not arrange a room for everyone to meet, but he did sort of
baguely ask the administrative ass, which was what he privately called
the dictor's secretary, (that was director not dictator although
Gilderoy might disagree) to find aplace so she did. IT was gonna be a
closet full of pee pads waiting to be washed but someone else turned up
and made her assign the to a proper function rooom.
If this were a regular fic I would have come up with someone for the
someone else but no.
Ooh, though, maybe that would be a good job for PErcy Wezley as a sortt
of efficiency expert/cleanup-after-administrative-messes-while looking
-- not gonna type handsome there although PErcy would like that -- while
looking tidy. VERY TID:Y.
Gilderoy also didn't ask anyone to decoarete ut it occurred to him a day
or two before so he and his girlffiend Magna Cauda (a transwitch) went
to he room with some of that ribbony stuff on a roll that people
decoarte with. 'Cause that was how they roll lololololl
GILderoy did make sure to arrange for chocolates for everyone except the
allergic people who got pineapple cookies. Allergic AND crazy, that's a
harrd life he thought so he made extra nice bookies.'
When th epary strated he went around greeting everyone.
There was a chicago policeman who had checked himself in because he was
unreasonably crazy obsessed with his partner, and everyone nodded yeah
sure when he tried to describe thow hot the dude was until the dude
himself showed up in a mountie uniform and all the straight women and
gay men - okay, honestly EVERYONE IN THE FREAKING ROOM AND IN THE
HALLWAY S ON THE WAY TO THE ROOM - were swooning with a mixture of
sexual attraction and sheeeer aesthetic appreciation. Some extremely
crazy people very kindly explainsed to the chicago cop that he wasn't
crazy he was just very vyer vyer lucky, so they accepted their choclates
and left.
Aaaand there were two gusy in WW2 uniforms from the desert campagin who
were clearly enemies and also lcearly crazy abeacsue despite their amity
- no, that's he topposite - despite their EMMMNITY - they kept not
killing each other when they had the chance. Obviously they were madly
en love but oe was a Captain and a future soap era star and the other
was a sergeant and f turue Playgirl star wearing only a slice of
watermelon and it wasn't allwoed for aofficers and enlisted men to
fraternize. Heh , heh, fraternize, sure. So they could never engage in
coitus (see I can spell words if they're in Latin, ridens aperte)
(that's latin for lol. no realy, believe me it's true). ANYWAY ehere was
it? thats right they could never be together unless they were making out
int he corner of the function (fucktion?) room so Gilderoy decided to
bring them their choclates (or pinaple cookies) later.
He manged to give a chocolate to the very good-looking (oh yes really
yummmm) medical examiner from germany who only excpeated it when
Gilderoy assured him it was echte gormet and very hoity toity not at all
for the hoi polloi. He was brought inb y a detective he worekd with -
actually a cheif of detectives - who saidhe kept interfering in cases
and getting himself bonked on the head and probly had traumatic brain
injury by ow --heheeh should be "by now" but "by ow" is facutlaly
correcdt right?) Usually bonked by bad guys. Bonked on the head - the
detecitve slushed (turned red0 ) when asked who was bonking his medical
examinaer friend. So that was really obvious. (THEY WERE SO DOING IT)
LEt's ee - he gave one choclate and one pineag;le cookei to the
cop/Mountie, nothing to the ww2 people whow ere otherwise engaged and a
box of chocolates (look i got the second o in there) (hahahahaha i bet
Gilderoy would like a second O, hahahaha, he'll have to be real nice to
magna cauda.)Box of chocolaes to the meidical examiner fro Germany who
shared the with the Hauptkomissar who brought him in.
Next he got to a couple of CHinese dudes one of whom was very well built
no get your minds out of the gutter it's like he worked out and had arm
muscles like you wouldn't BLIEVE, that kind of built - anyways he said
please cure me i'm crazy in love with this absolute idiot and the other
wone said he wants to be cured so you shoud cure him but he was crying
the whole ti me because he loved him too. I mean the second cugy loved
the first guy back so he didn't want to have him cured but he was
ridiclusyoyly altruistic and ... well it was adistaster all around so
Gilderoy gave them extra chocolates and two cookies each.
Then the author tried to remember what other fandosmas ehes was into and
came up blank even thought she knew there were lots and lots. Plus
Gilderoy still had chocolates and cookies to give away and it would be a
shame not to think of any more.
SO she had some more soju.
oh yes ... last hLloween Gilderoy helped zhu hong and ya qing (those are
spelled right no really) (although choc) get together and they showed up
not because they were crazy but because they wanted to thank Gilderoy
for bringing them into eah other's ... um ... space. Yes, that was it.
Not coochies at all. Or hoohas or downtown businesses or whetever the
kdis are calling it these days. So THEY gave Gilderoy chocolates and
when they saw Magna auda they gave her some yummy red bean cookeis in
case she was allergic.
There were also three Chiese guys who claimed that one of them had two
identities and one of them totes lost his memory that and the other oen
was having to keep an eye o both of the even thought he was a total
innocent. Maybe not i every sense of the word? Because it seemed clear
theyw ere kind of a 3 some. Wait ot the incnoent guys aunt ha ht ehots
for one of the first guys identity but not the other? And the guy with
emmroy problems was supposed to e the archenemy but just kept protecting
the other two . So itw as a big mess and they obviously deserved
chocolates. ADN cookeis. Because lte's face it, Gilderoy was a big
softie and agna Caudea just kept baking more cookies for him to give
away because despite her ginormous cick the was an excellent backer. OR
ma;ye not depsite, beacuse of.
There were two other copes there but theyw ere not crazy whtye were
workign security they were hRris and dietrich who were retired from the
force by now but heppy to help out when they heard some of the peopale
were gay. because they were gay cops in the 70s when it ws not easy if
your names were not starksy and hutch although even they had their bumps
in the road (and bups in their pansts too ha ha ha ). THere was soe
confusion when it turend out one of the gusy from ww2 was also named
dietrich but not the same one.
They were happy to accept treats just gor beig there. And they did not
snog because they were on the job ut it was obviosu they wanted to. they
ihtve snuck a skiss when tno one was looking but Gilderoy notice dand
siled to himself. I mean, made his moth turn up like he was happy.
Finally Gilderoy turned around to see Magna Cudia about to steal one of
his cholates!!! HOW DARE!!! So he yelled, "HEY! That's MY bldoody
valentine , leave it alone!" ANd she did so they snogged. AND a good
time was had by all. Yummmm.'
Oh there should be a nice postrcrit here with a twist. Like maybe ...
the real Starsky and Hutch show up? Naw they'd e snogging int he corenr
too. Ooh, maybe anotehr one of the Rat Patrol show up and fight with
Troy over Dietrich ... naw they'd just wind up as a threeome. Okay, not
twist, everyne happy. Choclaetgs and dcookies for everyone!!!
the whole fic and then used the last few words as th title )
Author:
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) yes yes yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Gilderoy/OC (transwitch);
RayK/Fraser from due South; Troy/Dietrich from Rat
Patrol, Chu Shuzhi/Guo Changcheng from Guardian, also Zhu
Hong/Ya Qing from Guardian, and Di Feisheng/Li Xiangyi (aka Li
Lianhua)/Fang Duobing from Mysterious Lotus Casebook,
Harris/Dietrich (NOT THE SAME DIETRIcH) from Barney Miller.
Challenge/Prompts used: Chocolate, my bloody valentine
Summary: Gilderoy hosts an event and gives out chocolates (and
cokeis to those who are allergic tochoclate)
Rating/Warnings: Mentions of making out? Maybe pg-13 jsut ind ase
Word count: 1444
Author's Notes (if any): NONE AT ALL
After Gilderoy Lockhart's surprising competence in giving out Halloween
cgifts the year before, the Powers that Be at St. Mungo's decided to put
him in charge of a social event to welcome people--crazy peole, that
is--wow, that's rude, how about mentally disconnected people? -- anyway,
loonies -- from other fandoms/universes/imaginary places -- into the St.
Mungo's commuity.
Gilderoy did not arrange a room for everyone to meet, but he did sort of
baguely ask the administrative ass, which was what he privately called
the dictor's secretary, (that was director not dictator although
Gilderoy might disagree) to find aplace so she did. IT was gonna be a
closet full of pee pads waiting to be washed but someone else turned up
and made her assign the to a proper function rooom.
If this were a regular fic I would have come up with someone for the
someone else but no.
Ooh, though, maybe that would be a good job for PErcy Wezley as a sortt
of efficiency expert/cleanup-after-administrative-messes-while looking
-- not gonna type handsome there although PErcy would like that -- while
looking tidy. VERY TID:Y.
Gilderoy also didn't ask anyone to decoarete ut it occurred to him a day
or two before so he and his girlffiend Magna Cauda (a transwitch) went
to he room with some of that ribbony stuff on a roll that people
decoarte with. 'Cause that was how they roll lololololl
GILderoy did make sure to arrange for chocolates for everyone except the
allergic people who got pineapple cookies. Allergic AND crazy, that's a
harrd life he thought so he made extra nice bookies.'
When th epary strated he went around greeting everyone.
There was a chicago policeman who had checked himself in because he was
unreasonably crazy obsessed with his partner, and everyone nodded yeah
sure when he tried to describe thow hot the dude was until the dude
himself showed up in a mountie uniform and all the straight women and
gay men - okay, honestly EVERYONE IN THE FREAKING ROOM AND IN THE
HALLWAY S ON THE WAY TO THE ROOM - were swooning with a mixture of
sexual attraction and sheeeer aesthetic appreciation. Some extremely
crazy people very kindly explainsed to the chicago cop that he wasn't
crazy he was just very vyer vyer lucky, so they accepted their choclates
and left.
Aaaand there were two gusy in WW2 uniforms from the desert campagin who
were clearly enemies and also lcearly crazy abeacsue despite their amity
- no, that's he topposite - despite their EMMMNITY - they kept not
killing each other when they had the chance. Obviously they were madly
en love but oe was a Captain and a future soap era star and the other
was a sergeant and f turue Playgirl star wearing only a slice of
watermelon and it wasn't allwoed for aofficers and enlisted men to
fraternize. Heh , heh, fraternize, sure. So they could never engage in
coitus (see I can spell words if they're in Latin, ridens aperte)
(that's latin for lol. no realy, believe me it's true). ANYWAY ehere was
it? thats right they could never be together unless they were making out
int he corner of the function (fucktion?) room so Gilderoy decided to
bring them their choclates (or pinaple cookies) later.
He manged to give a chocolate to the very good-looking (oh yes really
yummmm) medical examiner from germany who only excpeated it when
Gilderoy assured him it was echte gormet and very hoity toity not at all
for the hoi polloi. He was brought inb y a detective he worekd with -
actually a cheif of detectives - who saidhe kept interfering in cases
and getting himself bonked on the head and probly had traumatic brain
injury by ow --heheeh should be "by now" but "by ow" is facutlaly
correcdt right?) Usually bonked by bad guys. Bonked on the head - the
detecitve slushed (turned red0 ) when asked who was bonking his medical
examinaer friend. So that was really obvious. (THEY WERE SO DOING IT)
LEt's ee - he gave one choclate and one pineag;le cookei to the
cop/Mountie, nothing to the ww2 people whow ere otherwise engaged and a
box of chocolates (look i got the second o in there) (hahahahaha i bet
Gilderoy would like a second O, hahahaha, he'll have to be real nice to
magna cauda.)Box of chocolaes to the meidical examiner fro Germany who
shared the with the Hauptkomissar who brought him in.
Next he got to a couple of CHinese dudes one of whom was very well built
no get your minds out of the gutter it's like he worked out and had arm
muscles like you wouldn't BLIEVE, that kind of built - anyways he said
please cure me i'm crazy in love with this absolute idiot and the other
wone said he wants to be cured so you shoud cure him but he was crying
the whole ti me because he loved him too. I mean the second cugy loved
the first guy back so he didn't want to have him cured but he was
ridiclusyoyly altruistic and ... well it was adistaster all around so
Gilderoy gave them extra chocolates and two cookies each.
Then the author tried to remember what other fandosmas ehes was into and
came up blank even thought she knew there were lots and lots. Plus
Gilderoy still had chocolates and cookies to give away and it would be a
shame not to think of any more.
SO she had some more soju.
oh yes ... last hLloween Gilderoy helped zhu hong and ya qing (those are
spelled right no really) (although choc) get together and they showed up
not because they were crazy but because they wanted to thank Gilderoy
for bringing them into eah other's ... um ... space. Yes, that was it.
Not coochies at all. Or hoohas or downtown businesses or whetever the
kdis are calling it these days. So THEY gave Gilderoy chocolates and
when they saw Magna auda they gave her some yummy red bean cookeis in
case she was allergic.
There were also three Chiese guys who claimed that one of them had two
identities and one of them totes lost his memory that and the other oen
was having to keep an eye o both of the even thought he was a total
innocent. Maybe not i every sense of the word? Because it seemed clear
theyw ere kind of a 3 some. Wait ot the incnoent guys aunt ha ht ehots
for one of the first guys identity but not the other? And the guy with
emmroy problems was supposed to e the archenemy but just kept protecting
the other two . So itw as a big mess and they obviously deserved
chocolates. ADN cookeis. Because lte's face it, Gilderoy was a big
softie and agna Caudea just kept baking more cookies for him to give
away because despite her ginormous cick the was an excellent backer. OR
ma;ye not depsite, beacuse of.
There were two other copes there but theyw ere not crazy whtye were
workign security they were hRris and dietrich who were retired from the
force by now but heppy to help out when they heard some of the peopale
were gay. because they were gay cops in the 70s when it ws not easy if
your names were not starksy and hutch although even they had their bumps
in the road (and bups in their pansts too ha ha ha ). THere was soe
confusion when it turend out one of the gusy from ww2 was also named
dietrich but not the same one.
They were happy to accept treats just gor beig there. And they did not
snog because they were on the job ut it was obviosu they wanted to. they
ihtve snuck a skiss when tno one was looking but Gilderoy notice dand
siled to himself. I mean, made his moth turn up like he was happy.
Finally Gilderoy turned around to see Magna Cudia about to steal one of
his cholates!!! HOW DARE!!! So he yelled, "HEY! That's MY bldoody
valentine , leave it alone!" ANd she did so they snogged. AND a good
time was had by all. Yummmm.'
Oh there should be a nice postrcrit here with a twist. Like maybe ...
the real Starsky and Hutch show up? Naw they'd e snogging int he corenr
too. Ooh, maybe anotehr one of the Rat Patrol show up and fight with
Troy over Dietrich ... naw they'd just wind up as a threeome. Okay, not
twist, everyne happy. Choclaetgs and dcookies for everyone!!!