This is brilliant! You manage a whole arc of these brothers' love...
And the change to first-person narration fits so well just where it happens – at the point of confessing the acts based on deepest emotions – and your reaction (naturally also in first person :D) is fabulous. And how you make the most of it – achieving symmetry, varying character voices, and more than you can possibly have planned.
The sex is as excellent as the pining, I'm sure, and I particularly love this simple line, too: Bill settled the bill and then, outside in the cold bright day, Charlie left for school again.
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Date: 2022-07-13 06:52 pm (UTC)And the change to first-person narration fits so well just where it happens – at the point of confessing the acts based on deepest emotions – and your reaction (naturally also in first person :D) is fabulous. And how you make the most of it – achieving symmetry, varying character voices, and more than you can possibly have planned.
The sex is as excellent as the pining, I'm sure, and I particularly love this simple line, too:
Bill settled the bill and then, outside in the cold bright day, Charlie left for school again.