![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
torino10154 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
firewhiskeyficTitle: Never Have I Ever
Authors: in alphabetical order:lefthandofglory, llaeyro, luminousgloom, ruinsplume, and wildflame
I am of legal drinking age in my region: yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: All Four, Maourader,s byby!
Challenge: felix felices and smut!
Summary: hijinks and smut! marauders era
Rating/Warnings: explicit. occasional inchorhehtance
Word count: oh god. al the words 4246
Author's Notes (if any): Mods, please redact these notes before publishing: we all co-wrote a fic together! [Still REDACTED *g*] thank you for this gloroius evening of drunken camraderie!
“This was the worst fucking idea. Whose idea was this?” said Pedro.
“For once, it wasn’t mine. You have to admit that. It wasn’t mine.” said James. “The thing with the treacle tart and the giant squid, that was mine.”
Siirus shoved his thumbs in his beltopps and grinned. “It’s a good Idea. Slughorn had every class brew felix felices today. You KNOW he saved some for himself. All we have to do is get thi sodding door open.”
“What if we get the Hufflepuffs felix? You know how they brew. Like shit, that’s how. We’ll probably end up with Hufflepuff luck, which means like, being lucky enough to be nice to firsties.” said James.
“Hey! That’s not fair! Hufflepuffs can brew better than Remus!” said Pedro.
“Will you all just keep your hair on,” Remus murmured, jiggling the knife in the lock. “I’ve almost got it. There.”
“What if we get Peter’s luck? Peter somehow managed to turn himself Spanish? Is that lucky?” said James.
“YOu know what they say about spanish lover,s pronts,” Sirus slung his arm around James and made kissing noises in his ear.
“Ugh! Get off me, Pads!” James.
“James wouldn’t know one way or another.”
“And we’re in!” Remus pushed open the door with an almighty creak.
“How did you do that?”
“He would’ve expected students to use magic, wouldn’t he,” Remus pocketed his knife. “Nothing like a bit of Muggle technology.”
Sirius dthrew both arms around Remus and gave him a kiss on the cheek that would have been a kiss on the mouth had remus not pushed him off in favor of stepping in to Slughorn’s office.
“Get off, Pads!” Remus growled impatiently. “Don’t worry, if this works out we’ll all be getting extremely lucky later.”
“Do you think he’s got any Polyjuice in here?” James prowled aroudn the office. “It’s just, I’ve been thinking. Doesm’t Evans listen to McGonagall? If I polyjuiced myself into McGongall and told her she should go out with me, don’t you think shed listen?”
“Pedro,” Sirius whined, leaning toward Peter. “Que vamos a hacer con esta idiota? Esta enfermo con amor.”
“Ay no se! Talves felix felices ayudara? He’ll forget about her. Find someone new!” Pedro sighed. “I hope I’ll find someone.”
“Okay, okay.” Sirius was poking around in Slughorn’s desk. “Look! Look at this! It’s a bottle wiht wax seal that’s still soft. And it’s gold. This has to be it. Only one dose, though.”
“I want it. I need it.” James whined. “Listen, mates, you know I need it. Well, really, it’s Evans who needs it. Because my luck is obviously fine. It’s hers that needs work. But if I take it then she’ll be lucky enough to finally realize how brilliant I am!”
“I admit, I don’t need it,” Sirius shot a glance at Remus, whose nose was buried in a book he’d found on Slughorn’s shelf. “But what aobu tPedro here? Okay, how about this? Prongs, you still have that flask of firewhisky stuck in your robes? We’ll pour out four triple shots. ONe of us will get the felix felixes and the others will get drunk.”
“Placebo effect we might all feel the effects without having drunk it- I heard that that happens,” said Pedro enthusiastically.
Wormtail! Y”re speaking english again! The hex must be earing off.” Sirius tossed him Jame’s flask. “Oyu pour, por favor.”
“Si, mostly. I creo.”
“What? What if the future of the world hangs in the balance? You want there to be only a one in four chance of Evans finally, luckily realizing my brilliance? What if we don’t get togther adn then we don’t have a brillant child who saves the world? Because that’s obviosuly what’s going to happen with any child of ours.” James
Prongsy? If you’re that hard up, why don’ tyou just ask me? Sirius sat down in sLughor’sn’s chair an d patted his thigh. “C’mere. Moony own’t mind.”
James gives him a dirty look that has a certain amount of consideration in it.
Sirius purses his lips and blows a slow-motion kiss in James’s direction. So slow that the past tense suddenly becomes the present.
James blushes. But not really. Because he doesn’t blush. Really.
Remus throws his arm around James’ shoulders, cocking an amused eyebrow at him. Don’t worry, Prongs. You’ll be getting lucky soon enough, I’m sure. With or without any input from Pads here.
James throws off the arm. “I’m straight!” He grins. “Well, at least before midnight. If nothing good’s come along by then, it’s negotiable.”
“Alright stop con todo este muah muah mauh. Are we doing the felix felices or not?”
“Wer’e doing it.” Sirius opens the little bottle and Smmons four semi-clean looking beakers from the shelf behind slughorn’s desk. He pours the felix felixes into the fisrt one and then holds up his hand. James tosses him the silver flask, which Sirus catches easily. He pours the contents in to each of the flasks, then beings moving them around on the desk. “How about a ghame of never have I ever?” he suggests. Just to make it fun for those of us not lucky enough to get lucky.”
“Brilliant!” Remus agreed.
“Aww I always lose. Siempre!” moaned Pedro.
“YOu start, Moony.” sirius.
“All right.” Remus studied his flask for a second, before raising it ceremonially. “Never have I ever shagged anyone in the library.”
Sirius drinks.
James looks at Sirius then drinks too. “Wait. What’s the defintition of ‘shagged’?”
IN this case, it’s “had my cock in another bloke’s mouth,” wouldn’t you say, Prongsy?” Sirus grins.
“Who’s the my and who’s the mouth?” James turns red. “Never mind. Move on.”
“Drink, MOony.” sirius. “Or did someone cast a n obliviate on oyou?
Remus is still looking at them curiously, before taking a long swig.
“I am not, como se dice, following?2 did Remus do the sex with the eSirius?” asked Pedro.
Apparently I’m not the only one, Remus grins. Or what exactly are you referring to, Sirius?
“Apparently, Sirius has been to the library more than one time in his entire life. Who knew?” James.
“I’l take you there sometime, Wormy, if you want a tour of the Restricted seciton. I have, como se dice, intimate knowledge of some of the libros mas esotericos..” Sirius.
“No gracias amigo!” Peter squirmed in his seat.
Oh I dunno, Peter, Remus shrugged, there’s a lovely spot behind the section on magical beekeeping. You might like it.
“Ya ya ya escuche bastante! Who goes next?”
Sirius eyes his flask of firewlisky.: “James does.”
“Fine.” James thinks. “Never have I ever...kissed a mermaid.” He drinks, looking triumphant.
No one else drinks. They are not weirdos.
Does a merman count? Remus asks innocently.
“Waht merna/? Waht are ou talking about?” Sirus sits up straight. Well not straight. He sits up.
“Mermen count if you’ve kissed a mermaid, believe me,” James says, looking a little pained. “Honestly, if the giant squid hadn’t owed me one, I don’t thnk I’d have made it out of there.”
“Moony, waht merman?” Sirius illogically jealous.
“Oh just someone I met in Wales. Ages ago. Don’t worry about it.” Remus smiles at the memory. “Hywel was very - well built though.”
“Is that Wales without an ‘h’ or with an ‘h’?” James looks a little confused.
“Poeque soy amigo con estos weirdos?” Peter asks himself. At this rate he will never get a drink, let a alone a drink of felix felices.
“Whose turn is it?” sirius. “MIne? Okay. Hmm. “Never have I ever...wanked to fantasies of me.”
“Of you specifically Sirius? Or of oneself in general?” asked Peter whose grasp of english had improved drastically.
James goes to drink then waits for the answer.
“NEver have I ever wanked to fantasies of Sirius Black doing things to my cock.” Sirius manages to look innocent. And doesn’t drink himself, then thinks abut it, then drinks. “I mean, if I”m thinking about wanking myself while I’m wanking myself…:” he trails off.
“Wait.” james looks a little lost. “What’s improtant in this question? If, say, not that it’s like this, but if you were thkning about wanking to a fantiasy of sirus black doing something to your cock but it’s mostly about yourself, like how it makes you feel is that a drink or a not drink?” James goes ahead and drinks, because he wants to. It’s fun. Whcih is pretty much how he ended up needing to drink to that question in the first place.
Remus meanwhile has taken a hearty swig, shrugging at his friends’ expectant glances.
“Oh la la,” says Pierre. “Je pense qu’il y a gossip.”
Lifting the flask to his lips in a slow, suggestive movement, Remus drinks again. “Qu’est-ce que tu veux dire?” he shrugs at Pierre. “Mais bien sur il y a beaucoup de gossip. It’s not even gossip if everyone knows.”
“Right. Who’s next?” james looks around, toying wiht his drink, obviously dying for a chance to show off what he’s done.
“Je n’ai jamais had sex.” Peirre says to a shocked room.
James drinks, a little ostentatiously. He runs a hand through his hair and preens.
He’s just trying to get this over with, Remus nods, knocking back a fair amount.
“Waht the fuck kind of question is that?” Sirius, flushed. LIke, wiht a girl? Or waht, even is that suppoesd to mean? I mean we’ve all...Oh. Sorry, Pete.” He drinks.
“This is how one loses at never have I ever. Watch and observe le maitre,” pierre shrugs.
“Have you really never -?” Remus seems puzzled. “I thought - you and that Hufflepuff - whatsername - “
“We are waiting for the opportune moment,” said pierre. “Mariage.”
“Getting fucked by life doesn’t count, Peter.” James raises an eyebrow.
“La vie is also waiting for mariage unfortunately. Shall we move on, Remus?”
“Right.” Remus clears his throat. “Never have I ever had indecent thoughts about one of my friends.”
“Wait. What’s indecent? And how do you count your friends?” James looks genuinely puzzled then shrugs and drinks anyway. Any way you parse it, it’s probably true.
“Wait. What’s ‘friends’?” Sirius. “You mean friends you aren’t already shagging, or waht? Prongs, he’s waffling. Le’ts get him.” Sirius lunges for remus, grabs him around the waist, buries his face in Remus’s groin.
James piles on, because, fun. Remus has the best ‘oofs’.
Remus lets out a somewhat unmanly screech of surprise and delight.
Sirius plasters the front of Remus’s flies wiht sloppy kisses.
Steady on, chaps, James says hoarsely, his eyes as big as saucers.
Oh give over, Prongs, Remus laughs, don’t pretend.
Sirius looks up from Remus’s crotch. “Really don’t pretend,” he adds.
“la 'aerif” sighes Botros and jumps ontop of the three boys. He is past caring and past feeling left out.
“Moony, sirus says, “we need to do something about Prong’s steadfast denial problem.”
“Is it my turn?” James falls off Moony and bounces a little on the floor. “My turn? My turn?”
Sirus pats Boutros on the arse, then thinks better of it and moves his hand to Peter’s back. “It’s your *turn,*” he says ot James, “to stop pretending we’re not having it off.”
James frowns. He looks like he’s had enough to drink that it’s hard to coordinate his eyebrows and his eyes. He manfully tries to make his face all work in the same direction. “Right. So what I want to know is this. Has anyone snogged Evans? And has Moony ever taken it up the arse from Black?”
“That’s two questions,” Remus points out pleasantly. He takes one long swig, and then another.
“Right,” says James a little unsteadily, which is espeically telling because it’s hard to be unsteady on a flat floor. “Two questions.”
Sirius drinks.
Twice
“What?” James wobbles on the floor. “First of all, you know that stuff I got out of Rosier’s trunk while you were putting those dungbombs under Snape’s bed? Ofc ourse you don’t. Because I didn’t share. Just liek you didn’t share my despair at getting turned down by Evans again tonight.” He drinks, just because. “Anyway, what? Why did you just drink twice, Sirius?”
“ONe, I have snogged evans, and two, Moony has taken it up the arse from black.”
“Call it her experimental phase,” Remus grins. “Apparently she’s been seen snogging McKinnon, too. That’s why I’m sure she’ll get round to you, Prongs. Eventually.”
James looks tragic. He also looks like a jellyfish, the way he’s flopping on the floor. “I have been betrayed!” he looks sad, but also like he can’t help asking. “What was it like?”
Sirius looks contrite. “I”m sorry Prongs It was fourth year, mistletoe. Here, let me make it up to you now. It was only a kiss likethis--” he crawls across the floor to where zjames is lying and plants a chaste kiss on his lips--” and not like this-- “ he draws his head back for emphasis, then leans in again and kisses James once more, softly, slowly, opening his mouth and lettin ghis tojngue slide across James’s lower lip.
James sighs. “I’m betrayed.” He kisses air, trying to get Sirius’s lips again. “But maybe I’d be a little less betrayed if you showed me again? There might be bits of Evans left on your lips.”
“I am the only good friend you have James,” excalimed peter in English again because the potion was running out of languages now. “ These too are traitors.”
Remus moves closer to where Sirius is kneeling above James, and gives his boyfriend a playful shove. “Hey.” He leans in for a snog, before pushing Sirius aside a little. “D’you want me to show you how I snogged her?”
“Please,” says James. “Yes, show me.” He’s also considering asking Remus if maybe that wasn’t so much a flask of alcohol as a liquid curse in Rosier’s locker. Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t have drunk a half pint of a random amber liquid from the Slytherin dungeon.
Sirus puts his hand on James’s flies, presses. “Go ahead, Moony. Prongs can take it.”
“I can’t take this Arsch lecken” said Pieter. “I’m going home.” He does not leave however. Dirty bastard.
Remus glances from Sirius’ hand on James’ crotch to Sirius’ eyes, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Can he now, do you think?” He cocks his head, frowning at James thoughtfully, before diving in. Their kiss is surprisingly passionate, and seems to drag on a bit too long for Sirius’ liking.
Sirius unbuttons James’s jeans, unzips James’s flies. James is hard in his y-fronts, cotton and erection spilling out into sirius’s hand. The feel of it breaks James from the kiss with Remus and he turns his head, looking down at Srius and berathing hard.
James loosk between Remus nad sSiurisu, tyring to work out what is going on.
“Come on, Prongsy.” Sirius slips his hand inside the flap of James’s pants. “It’s your lucky night.”
“For some,” mutter Peter.
Sirius wraps his hand around James’s cock, strokes once, and leans over him, his head close to remus’s.
“This really is Christmas come early for you, isn’t it,” Remus observes with a sidelong glance at Sirius. “Go on, get his clothes off.”
Siruis begins unbuttioning Jems’s shirt with heis free hand. His other hand strokes James, so slowly it’s almost lazy. James lets out a sound undignified whimperish needy smol.
James still doesn’t really know whats ‘going on or what this all means but has firmly decided he doesn’t reayll care.
Siruis plants a kiss on Remus’s moiuth, strokes James.
Remus moves around to Jame’ legs, pulling down his trousers rather unceremoniously. “Let’s play with him properly.” He runs his hands up James’ thighs, pausing to fondle James’ balls a little. “Pete, don’t you want a piece of him?”
Peter gasps in shock at all this exposed flesh.
Sirius swivels around, kisses Remus, mouth open, tongue playing at the edges of Remus’s lips, capturing the lower one between his teeth. Strokign James, a little faster now. “You wanna suck him off, Moony?” Sirius asks.
“Duck,” swears James, not sure he’ll last that long.
“Yeah,” Remus says huskily, eyeing James’ sizeable erection. Peter is eyeing it too. This is the most erotic moment of his life so far. Until Remus bends down that is, and takes James’ prick into his mouth. Licking along the length of it, sucking on the head, before swallowing all of it.
Peter moans louder than James.
Sirius joins Remus at James’s cock and positions himself below Remus, suckin gon James’s balls, which are rapidly drawing up. His head knocks gently agaisnt Remus’s chin. He rolls James’s balls into his mouth, first one then the other, sucking and tnoguing while Remus works Jems’s shaft.
James tries to watch them, wanting to preserve the image in his mind forever, but his syes keep fluttering lcoserd as a result f theor ministrations.
“Love you, Moony,” sirius whispers, his hand fidning Remus’s hair and slipping in, palmnig the curve of his head as his head bobs over James’s cock.
Remus smiles around James’ cock and reaches for Sirius’ other hand, guiding it between James’ legs. His smile becomes a devious grin, and he cocks an eyebrow. Go on, he seems to be saying, you’ve always wanted to. This is your lucky day.
“This is the weirdset fucking night of my life” mumbls Hames, spreading his legs because its also the bst fucking night of his life so far.
Sirius sucks James’s left bollock all the way into his mouth, tightens his fist in Remus’s hair. His fingers, guided by Remus, drag along James’ perineum, until they find the tight, puckered hole. Remus is still going to town on James’ cock, and grinning like the cat that is about to get the cream.
He gets the cream.
Suprised, Remus swallows. Racked by a coughing fit he pulls back, releasing James’ glistening cock.
Sirius dives in and captures Remus’s mouth wiht his own, sucking Remus’s lower lip into his mouth, tasting James, sucking him in off REmjs’s tongue.
“Oh fuck me,” says Peter, distraught that they have all had sex yet again and left him still a virgin. He takes his beaker of firewhiskey (or is felix felices who knows?) and swallows it whole.
Siruws and Remus and James all raise their heads at exactly the same moment, and gaze at Peter asif they’ve never seen him before. Remus wipes a stray drop of cum off his lips with th eback of his hand.
“PEdro boutros pierre,” Sirius drawls, “why don’tyou move in a little closer?”
“Me?” stammers Peter.
“Get him, Moony.” sirius.
“No, I want him.” says James, crawling towards him, trousers undinen adn hintering his progress. He stops in front of Peter, hands resting uncertainly on Peter’s knees. “Unless you want them. You can have all of us, if you want Peter.”
Peter nods fervently. Lost for words.
Sirius crawls across the floor of the office until his head is level with Peter’s knees and James’s hands. He kisses James’s hand, since it’s right there, then rests his head heavily on Peter’s thigh. Then, inspired, he takes Jemse’s hand in his and brings both their hands to the waistpband of Petr’s trousers.
“D’you want us to suck you off?” Remus asks amiably. “Or we could fuck you, if you like?”
“Uh-huh,” gasps Peter moving forward onto his knees to get closer to Remus knocking Sirius off his lap by mistake.
Jeames and Srius make short work of Peter’s trousers and pants and then he’s there, the head of his cock dark pink, blushing out of a nest of dark blond hair. Hard, nuzzing lis belly.
Remus meanwhile positions himself behind Peter…. (does he?) he does. , groping Peter’s tight little bum.
“Lubrico,” Sirus mumbles, rollkng onto his back beneath Peter and gazing up at him. “Remus is going to fuck you and I’m gonna wank you while he does it. And James is going to...Prongs. Hwat are ou going to do for our dear initiate polyglot here?”
“How about you get Pete’s talented tongue to work its magic on your cock, Sirius? And James here can get you off with his hands… while I take your virginity once and for all?”
“JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Peter practically screams.
It sounds complicated, but once sirus slides under peter and rests his hand on Peter’s head, urigng him down, and Peter’s mouth closes around the head of srisus’s prick, everything becomes clearer.
Remus nods and proceeds to coat his own cock with ample magically conjured lube, before lining it up with Peter’s little pucker. “Are you ready for this?” he asks Peter, just to be sure.
Peter is lost for words as James reaches for Peter’s cock, his hand slick with more lube, and closes his fist around the shaft.
Remus n;udges Peter’s hole with the tip of his cock. Slow, insistent pressure. Sirius sucks Peter in as James wraps his hand around srius’s cock.
“Ooh la la la, si papi, ich komme, ich komme,” screamed Peter. “Shukraan, shukraan.”
Sirius is caught off guard by the suddenness of Peter’s orgasm, he coughs, does shis best to swallow, swallows. His eyes meet Remus’s. James gives sirius a squeeze, then, seeing the way Remus andsirus are looking at each other, lets go again.
He’s not sure who was touching who or where his mojth just was, but right now he wants his mouth on Remus’s, and he wants Remus’s cock inside him. Peter flops down on the floor beside James, his cock glistening from the lube he didn’t need. Sirius swipes his hand gengly over Peter’s spent prick, brings his hand behind himself to slick his hole. He rolls onto his back, blinks up at Remus.
Remus’s eyes are dark with passionate hunger as he stalks towards Sirius. He takes hold of Sirius’s thighs and spreads them easily, leaning over him to share a feirdce kiss as his still slick prick rubs along Sirius’s crease.
“I don’t need any felix felices,” Sirius murmurs, hiking his legs up and pulling Remus towrard him. “I have you.’
Remus smiles and kisses him on the nose. “Sappy mutt.” he mumbles, making Sirius casps as he grinds his hips.Remus takes hold of his considerable length, slowly gudiing it inside Sirus.
“That’s it.” sirius shifts his hips, wrapping his legs around Remus’s back. They fuck, slowly, on the floor of the potion master’s office, with their two best mates passed out on the floor beside them. They fuck and kiss, sweat gathering on remus’s chest and falling in small droplets onto Sirius’s.
Remus nudges his nose at Srius’s jaw, encouraging him to turn his head, allowing Remus access to his neck as they fuck. He licks up Sirius’s neck, sucking his earlobe into his mouth before whispering, “You semll like them,” his teeth grazed against Sirius’s skin, lightly, his voice practically a growl as he added, “But you’re mine,”
“You like it,” Sirus rasps, his voice jostled by Remus pushing into him. “You like smelling them on me.”
“Mm… I like this. Like cliaming you back, after. Remind you who you belong yo.” His teeth nipped along Sirius’s collarbone.
“Make me yours, Moony. Mark me. Come inside me.” sirus brings his hand to his cock, lick between their bodies, and takes hold of himself.
Remus’s hips snap back and forth wfildly and his hand comes up to tanlge in Sirius’s hair. “Tell me. Tell me who you belong yo.”
Sirius works his hand in time wiht Remus’s thrusts. “Yours, Moony. I’m yours. Your dog. Your boy. YOur man. Never have I--never have I ever been anyone’s the way I’m yours. Yours, Remus.” Sirius loses the last word to a gasp as his thighs tighten, his balls draw up behind the root of his cock and he comes, his head knocking back agaisnt the floor and Remus grinding into him, pleasure hot between them, slick on their bodies, spilled in his hand.
“Mine,” Remus growls before singking his teeth into Sirius’s shoulder, grinding down into him as his orgasm tears through him. When the final treminrs cease, Remus collapses atop Sirius, gently kissing and licking as the bite mark on his shoulder.
Sirus throws back his head, shivering as Remus’s tongue works over him, eddies of pleasure ripp;ling over his skin like echoes of his earlier orgasm. He presses his hands to Remus’s back, wanting to keep their bodies joined as long as possible, but at last Remus heaves a sigh and rolls off Sirius, nuzzing in beside him.
Remus props himself up slightly, looking around the room at discarded clothes and sleeping bodies, sighing heavily. “Think we dhouls… tidy up a bit?”
Sirius swings himself around in an arc, bringning his head to Remus’s cock. He sucks the tip into his mouth, presses the spent softness between his lips and sucks the last strains of come lingering there.
“That’s tidy enough for me,” he says. “Shall we kip for a bit? Felix Felices lasts a whole night, which mean’s Peat’s buond to wake up before Slughorn comes in to the office.” He grabs James’s discardes shrit fro the floor and wads it into a pillow. “C’mere, Moony,” ha says.
“Okay,” Remus mumbles sleepily, curling up against SIrius. “And then I get to claim tou all over again, after. Right?”
“I’m so lucky,” Sirius answers, and passes out in Remus’s arms.
THE END!!!!
Authors: in alphabetical order:
lefthandofglory, llaeyro, luminousgloom, ruinsplume, and wildflameI am of legal drinking age in my region: yes
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: All Four, Maourader,s byby!
Challenge: felix felices and smut!
Summary: hijinks and smut! marauders era
Rating/Warnings: explicit. occasional inchorhehtance
Word count: oh god. al the words 4246
Author's Notes (if any): Mods, please redact these notes before publishing: we all co-wrote a fic together! [Still REDACTED *g*] thank you for this gloroius evening of drunken camraderie!
“This was the worst fucking idea. Whose idea was this?” said Pedro.
“For once, it wasn’t mine. You have to admit that. It wasn’t mine.” said James. “The thing with the treacle tart and the giant squid, that was mine.”
Siirus shoved his thumbs in his beltopps and grinned. “It’s a good Idea. Slughorn had every class brew felix felices today. You KNOW he saved some for himself. All we have to do is get thi sodding door open.”
“What if we get the Hufflepuffs felix? You know how they brew. Like shit, that’s how. We’ll probably end up with Hufflepuff luck, which means like, being lucky enough to be nice to firsties.” said James.
“Hey! That’s not fair! Hufflepuffs can brew better than Remus!” said Pedro.
“Will you all just keep your hair on,” Remus murmured, jiggling the knife in the lock. “I’ve almost got it. There.”
“What if we get Peter’s luck? Peter somehow managed to turn himself Spanish? Is that lucky?” said James.
“YOu know what they say about spanish lover,s pronts,” Sirus slung his arm around James and made kissing noises in his ear.
“Ugh! Get off me, Pads!” James.
“James wouldn’t know one way or another.”
“And we’re in!” Remus pushed open the door with an almighty creak.
“How did you do that?”
“He would’ve expected students to use magic, wouldn’t he,” Remus pocketed his knife. “Nothing like a bit of Muggle technology.”
Sirius dthrew both arms around Remus and gave him a kiss on the cheek that would have been a kiss on the mouth had remus not pushed him off in favor of stepping in to Slughorn’s office.
“Get off, Pads!” Remus growled impatiently. “Don’t worry, if this works out we’ll all be getting extremely lucky later.”
“Do you think he’s got any Polyjuice in here?” James prowled aroudn the office. “It’s just, I’ve been thinking. Doesm’t Evans listen to McGonagall? If I polyjuiced myself into McGongall and told her she should go out with me, don’t you think shed listen?”
“Pedro,” Sirius whined, leaning toward Peter. “Que vamos a hacer con esta idiota? Esta enfermo con amor.”
“Ay no se! Talves felix felices ayudara? He’ll forget about her. Find someone new!” Pedro sighed. “I hope I’ll find someone.”
“Okay, okay.” Sirius was poking around in Slughorn’s desk. “Look! Look at this! It’s a bottle wiht wax seal that’s still soft. And it’s gold. This has to be it. Only one dose, though.”
“I want it. I need it.” James whined. “Listen, mates, you know I need it. Well, really, it’s Evans who needs it. Because my luck is obviously fine. It’s hers that needs work. But if I take it then she’ll be lucky enough to finally realize how brilliant I am!”
“I admit, I don’t need it,” Sirius shot a glance at Remus, whose nose was buried in a book he’d found on Slughorn’s shelf. “But what aobu tPedro here? Okay, how about this? Prongs, you still have that flask of firewhisky stuck in your robes? We’ll pour out four triple shots. ONe of us will get the felix felixes and the others will get drunk.”
“Placebo effect we might all feel the effects without having drunk it- I heard that that happens,” said Pedro enthusiastically.
Wormtail! Y”re speaking english again! The hex must be earing off.” Sirius tossed him Jame’s flask. “Oyu pour, por favor.”
“Si, mostly. I creo.”
“What? What if the future of the world hangs in the balance? You want there to be only a one in four chance of Evans finally, luckily realizing my brilliance? What if we don’t get togther adn then we don’t have a brillant child who saves the world? Because that’s obviosuly what’s going to happen with any child of ours.” James
Prongsy? If you’re that hard up, why don’ tyou just ask me? Sirius sat down in sLughor’sn’s chair an d patted his thigh. “C’mere. Moony own’t mind.”
James gives him a dirty look that has a certain amount of consideration in it.
Sirius purses his lips and blows a slow-motion kiss in James’s direction. So slow that the past tense suddenly becomes the present.
James blushes. But not really. Because he doesn’t blush. Really.
Remus throws his arm around James’ shoulders, cocking an amused eyebrow at him. Don’t worry, Prongs. You’ll be getting lucky soon enough, I’m sure. With or without any input from Pads here.
James throws off the arm. “I’m straight!” He grins. “Well, at least before midnight. If nothing good’s come along by then, it’s negotiable.”
“Alright stop con todo este muah muah mauh. Are we doing the felix felices or not?”
“Wer’e doing it.” Sirius opens the little bottle and Smmons four semi-clean looking beakers from the shelf behind slughorn’s desk. He pours the felix felixes into the fisrt one and then holds up his hand. James tosses him the silver flask, which Sirus catches easily. He pours the contents in to each of the flasks, then beings moving them around on the desk. “How about a ghame of never have I ever?” he suggests. Just to make it fun for those of us not lucky enough to get lucky.”
“Brilliant!” Remus agreed.
“Aww I always lose. Siempre!” moaned Pedro.
“YOu start, Moony.” sirius.
“All right.” Remus studied his flask for a second, before raising it ceremonially. “Never have I ever shagged anyone in the library.”
Sirius drinks.
James looks at Sirius then drinks too. “Wait. What’s the defintition of ‘shagged’?”
IN this case, it’s “had my cock in another bloke’s mouth,” wouldn’t you say, Prongsy?” Sirus grins.
“Who’s the my and who’s the mouth?” James turns red. “Never mind. Move on.”
“Drink, MOony.” sirius. “Or did someone cast a n obliviate on oyou?
Remus is still looking at them curiously, before taking a long swig.
“I am not, como se dice, following?2 did Remus do the sex with the eSirius?” asked Pedro.
Apparently I’m not the only one, Remus grins. Or what exactly are you referring to, Sirius?
“Apparently, Sirius has been to the library more than one time in his entire life. Who knew?” James.
“I’l take you there sometime, Wormy, if you want a tour of the Restricted seciton. I have, como se dice, intimate knowledge of some of the libros mas esotericos..” Sirius.
“No gracias amigo!” Peter squirmed in his seat.
Oh I dunno, Peter, Remus shrugged, there’s a lovely spot behind the section on magical beekeeping. You might like it.
“Ya ya ya escuche bastante! Who goes next?”
Sirius eyes his flask of firewlisky.: “James does.”
“Fine.” James thinks. “Never have I ever...kissed a mermaid.” He drinks, looking triumphant.
No one else drinks. They are not weirdos.
Does a merman count? Remus asks innocently.
“Waht merna/? Waht are ou talking about?” Sirus sits up straight. Well not straight. He sits up.
“Mermen count if you’ve kissed a mermaid, believe me,” James says, looking a little pained. “Honestly, if the giant squid hadn’t owed me one, I don’t thnk I’d have made it out of there.”
“Moony, waht merman?” Sirius illogically jealous.
“Oh just someone I met in Wales. Ages ago. Don’t worry about it.” Remus smiles at the memory. “Hywel was very - well built though.”
“Is that Wales without an ‘h’ or with an ‘h’?” James looks a little confused.
“Poeque soy amigo con estos weirdos?” Peter asks himself. At this rate he will never get a drink, let a alone a drink of felix felices.
“Whose turn is it?” sirius. “MIne? Okay. Hmm. “Never have I ever...wanked to fantasies of me.”
“Of you specifically Sirius? Or of oneself in general?” asked Peter whose grasp of english had improved drastically.
James goes to drink then waits for the answer.
“NEver have I ever wanked to fantasies of Sirius Black doing things to my cock.” Sirius manages to look innocent. And doesn’t drink himself, then thinks abut it, then drinks. “I mean, if I”m thinking about wanking myself while I’m wanking myself…:” he trails off.
“Wait.” james looks a little lost. “What’s improtant in this question? If, say, not that it’s like this, but if you were thkning about wanking to a fantiasy of sirus black doing something to your cock but it’s mostly about yourself, like how it makes you feel is that a drink or a not drink?” James goes ahead and drinks, because he wants to. It’s fun. Whcih is pretty much how he ended up needing to drink to that question in the first place.
Remus meanwhile has taken a hearty swig, shrugging at his friends’ expectant glances.
“Oh la la,” says Pierre. “Je pense qu’il y a gossip.”
Lifting the flask to his lips in a slow, suggestive movement, Remus drinks again. “Qu’est-ce que tu veux dire?” he shrugs at Pierre. “Mais bien sur il y a beaucoup de gossip. It’s not even gossip if everyone knows.”
“Right. Who’s next?” james looks around, toying wiht his drink, obviously dying for a chance to show off what he’s done.
“Je n’ai jamais had sex.” Peirre says to a shocked room.
James drinks, a little ostentatiously. He runs a hand through his hair and preens.
He’s just trying to get this over with, Remus nods, knocking back a fair amount.
“Waht the fuck kind of question is that?” Sirius, flushed. LIke, wiht a girl? Or waht, even is that suppoesd to mean? I mean we’ve all...Oh. Sorry, Pete.” He drinks.
“This is how one loses at never have I ever. Watch and observe le maitre,” pierre shrugs.
“Have you really never -?” Remus seems puzzled. “I thought - you and that Hufflepuff - whatsername - “
“We are waiting for the opportune moment,” said pierre. “Mariage.”
“Getting fucked by life doesn’t count, Peter.” James raises an eyebrow.
“La vie is also waiting for mariage unfortunately. Shall we move on, Remus?”
“Right.” Remus clears his throat. “Never have I ever had indecent thoughts about one of my friends.”
“Wait. What’s indecent? And how do you count your friends?” James looks genuinely puzzled then shrugs and drinks anyway. Any way you parse it, it’s probably true.
“Wait. What’s ‘friends’?” Sirius. “You mean friends you aren’t already shagging, or waht? Prongs, he’s waffling. Le’ts get him.” Sirius lunges for remus, grabs him around the waist, buries his face in Remus’s groin.
James piles on, because, fun. Remus has the best ‘oofs’.
Remus lets out a somewhat unmanly screech of surprise and delight.
Sirius plasters the front of Remus’s flies wiht sloppy kisses.
Steady on, chaps, James says hoarsely, his eyes as big as saucers.
Oh give over, Prongs, Remus laughs, don’t pretend.
Sirius looks up from Remus’s crotch. “Really don’t pretend,” he adds.
“la 'aerif” sighes Botros and jumps ontop of the three boys. He is past caring and past feeling left out.
“Moony, sirus says, “we need to do something about Prong’s steadfast denial problem.”
“Is it my turn?” James falls off Moony and bounces a little on the floor. “My turn? My turn?”
Sirus pats Boutros on the arse, then thinks better of it and moves his hand to Peter’s back. “It’s your *turn,*” he says ot James, “to stop pretending we’re not having it off.”
James frowns. He looks like he’s had enough to drink that it’s hard to coordinate his eyebrows and his eyes. He manfully tries to make his face all work in the same direction. “Right. So what I want to know is this. Has anyone snogged Evans? And has Moony ever taken it up the arse from Black?”
“That’s two questions,” Remus points out pleasantly. He takes one long swig, and then another.
“Right,” says James a little unsteadily, which is espeically telling because it’s hard to be unsteady on a flat floor. “Two questions.”
Sirius drinks.
Twice
“What?” James wobbles on the floor. “First of all, you know that stuff I got out of Rosier’s trunk while you were putting those dungbombs under Snape’s bed? Ofc ourse you don’t. Because I didn’t share. Just liek you didn’t share my despair at getting turned down by Evans again tonight.” He drinks, just because. “Anyway, what? Why did you just drink twice, Sirius?”
“ONe, I have snogged evans, and two, Moony has taken it up the arse from black.”
“Call it her experimental phase,” Remus grins. “Apparently she’s been seen snogging McKinnon, too. That’s why I’m sure she’ll get round to you, Prongs. Eventually.”
James looks tragic. He also looks like a jellyfish, the way he’s flopping on the floor. “I have been betrayed!” he looks sad, but also like he can’t help asking. “What was it like?”
Sirius looks contrite. “I”m sorry Prongs It was fourth year, mistletoe. Here, let me make it up to you now. It was only a kiss likethis--” he crawls across the floor to where zjames is lying and plants a chaste kiss on his lips--” and not like this-- “ he draws his head back for emphasis, then leans in again and kisses James once more, softly, slowly, opening his mouth and lettin ghis tojngue slide across James’s lower lip.
James sighs. “I’m betrayed.” He kisses air, trying to get Sirius’s lips again. “But maybe I’d be a little less betrayed if you showed me again? There might be bits of Evans left on your lips.”
“I am the only good friend you have James,” excalimed peter in English again because the potion was running out of languages now. “ These too are traitors.”
Remus moves closer to where Sirius is kneeling above James, and gives his boyfriend a playful shove. “Hey.” He leans in for a snog, before pushing Sirius aside a little. “D’you want me to show you how I snogged her?”
“Please,” says James. “Yes, show me.” He’s also considering asking Remus if maybe that wasn’t so much a flask of alcohol as a liquid curse in Rosier’s locker. Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t have drunk a half pint of a random amber liquid from the Slytherin dungeon.
Sirus puts his hand on James’s flies, presses. “Go ahead, Moony. Prongs can take it.”
“I can’t take this Arsch lecken” said Pieter. “I’m going home.” He does not leave however. Dirty bastard.
Remus glances from Sirius’ hand on James’ crotch to Sirius’ eyes, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Can he now, do you think?” He cocks his head, frowning at James thoughtfully, before diving in. Their kiss is surprisingly passionate, and seems to drag on a bit too long for Sirius’ liking.
Sirius unbuttons James’s jeans, unzips James’s flies. James is hard in his y-fronts, cotton and erection spilling out into sirius’s hand. The feel of it breaks James from the kiss with Remus and he turns his head, looking down at Srius and berathing hard.
James loosk between Remus nad sSiurisu, tyring to work out what is going on.
“Come on, Prongsy.” Sirius slips his hand inside the flap of James’s pants. “It’s your lucky night.”
“For some,” mutter Peter.
Sirius wraps his hand around James’s cock, strokes once, and leans over him, his head close to remus’s.
“This really is Christmas come early for you, isn’t it,” Remus observes with a sidelong glance at Sirius. “Go on, get his clothes off.”
Siruis begins unbuttioning Jems’s shirt with heis free hand. His other hand strokes James, so slowly it’s almost lazy. James lets out a sound undignified whimperish needy smol.
James still doesn’t really know whats ‘going on or what this all means but has firmly decided he doesn’t reayll care.
Siruis plants a kiss on Remus’s moiuth, strokes James.
Remus moves around to Jame’ legs, pulling down his trousers rather unceremoniously. “Let’s play with him properly.” He runs his hands up James’ thighs, pausing to fondle James’ balls a little. “Pete, don’t you want a piece of him?”
Peter gasps in shock at all this exposed flesh.
Sirius swivels around, kisses Remus, mouth open, tongue playing at the edges of Remus’s lips, capturing the lower one between his teeth. Strokign James, a little faster now. “You wanna suck him off, Moony?” Sirius asks.
“Duck,” swears James, not sure he’ll last that long.
“Yeah,” Remus says huskily, eyeing James’ sizeable erection. Peter is eyeing it too. This is the most erotic moment of his life so far. Until Remus bends down that is, and takes James’ prick into his mouth. Licking along the length of it, sucking on the head, before swallowing all of it.
Peter moans louder than James.
Sirius joins Remus at James’s cock and positions himself below Remus, suckin gon James’s balls, which are rapidly drawing up. His head knocks gently agaisnt Remus’s chin. He rolls James’s balls into his mouth, first one then the other, sucking and tnoguing while Remus works Jems’s shaft.
James tries to watch them, wanting to preserve the image in his mind forever, but his syes keep fluttering lcoserd as a result f theor ministrations.
“Love you, Moony,” sirius whispers, his hand fidning Remus’s hair and slipping in, palmnig the curve of his head as his head bobs over James’s cock.
Remus smiles around James’ cock and reaches for Sirius’ other hand, guiding it between James’ legs. His smile becomes a devious grin, and he cocks an eyebrow. Go on, he seems to be saying, you’ve always wanted to. This is your lucky day.
“This is the weirdset fucking night of my life” mumbls Hames, spreading his legs because its also the bst fucking night of his life so far.
Sirius sucks James’s left bollock all the way into his mouth, tightens his fist in Remus’s hair. His fingers, guided by Remus, drag along James’ perineum, until they find the tight, puckered hole. Remus is still going to town on James’ cock, and grinning like the cat that is about to get the cream.
He gets the cream.
Suprised, Remus swallows. Racked by a coughing fit he pulls back, releasing James’ glistening cock.
Sirius dives in and captures Remus’s mouth wiht his own, sucking Remus’s lower lip into his mouth, tasting James, sucking him in off REmjs’s tongue.
“Oh fuck me,” says Peter, distraught that they have all had sex yet again and left him still a virgin. He takes his beaker of firewhiskey (or is felix felices who knows?) and swallows it whole.
Siruws and Remus and James all raise their heads at exactly the same moment, and gaze at Peter asif they’ve never seen him before. Remus wipes a stray drop of cum off his lips with th eback of his hand.
“PEdro boutros pierre,” Sirius drawls, “why don’tyou move in a little closer?”
“Me?” stammers Peter.
“Get him, Moony.” sirius.
“No, I want him.” says James, crawling towards him, trousers undinen adn hintering his progress. He stops in front of Peter, hands resting uncertainly on Peter’s knees. “Unless you want them. You can have all of us, if you want Peter.”
Peter nods fervently. Lost for words.
Sirius crawls across the floor of the office until his head is level with Peter’s knees and James’s hands. He kisses James’s hand, since it’s right there, then rests his head heavily on Peter’s thigh. Then, inspired, he takes Jemse’s hand in his and brings both their hands to the waistpband of Petr’s trousers.
“D’you want us to suck you off?” Remus asks amiably. “Or we could fuck you, if you like?”
“Uh-huh,” gasps Peter moving forward onto his knees to get closer to Remus knocking Sirius off his lap by mistake.
Jeames and Srius make short work of Peter’s trousers and pants and then he’s there, the head of his cock dark pink, blushing out of a nest of dark blond hair. Hard, nuzzing lis belly.
Remus meanwhile positions himself behind Peter…. (does he?) he does. , groping Peter’s tight little bum.
“Lubrico,” Sirus mumbles, rollkng onto his back beneath Peter and gazing up at him. “Remus is going to fuck you and I’m gonna wank you while he does it. And James is going to...Prongs. Hwat are ou going to do for our dear initiate polyglot here?”
“How about you get Pete’s talented tongue to work its magic on your cock, Sirius? And James here can get you off with his hands… while I take your virginity once and for all?”
“JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Peter practically screams.
It sounds complicated, but once sirus slides under peter and rests his hand on Peter’s head, urigng him down, and Peter’s mouth closes around the head of srisus’s prick, everything becomes clearer.
Remus nods and proceeds to coat his own cock with ample magically conjured lube, before lining it up with Peter’s little pucker. “Are you ready for this?” he asks Peter, just to be sure.
Peter is lost for words as James reaches for Peter’s cock, his hand slick with more lube, and closes his fist around the shaft.
Remus n;udges Peter’s hole with the tip of his cock. Slow, insistent pressure. Sirius sucks Peter in as James wraps his hand around srius’s cock.
“Ooh la la la, si papi, ich komme, ich komme,” screamed Peter. “Shukraan, shukraan.”
Sirius is caught off guard by the suddenness of Peter’s orgasm, he coughs, does shis best to swallow, swallows. His eyes meet Remus’s. James gives sirius a squeeze, then, seeing the way Remus andsirus are looking at each other, lets go again.
He’s not sure who was touching who or where his mojth just was, but right now he wants his mouth on Remus’s, and he wants Remus’s cock inside him. Peter flops down on the floor beside James, his cock glistening from the lube he didn’t need. Sirius swipes his hand gengly over Peter’s spent prick, brings his hand behind himself to slick his hole. He rolls onto his back, blinks up at Remus.
Remus’s eyes are dark with passionate hunger as he stalks towards Sirius. He takes hold of Sirius’s thighs and spreads them easily, leaning over him to share a feirdce kiss as his still slick prick rubs along Sirius’s crease.
“I don’t need any felix felices,” Sirius murmurs, hiking his legs up and pulling Remus towrard him. “I have you.’
Remus smiles and kisses him on the nose. “Sappy mutt.” he mumbles, making Sirius casps as he grinds his hips.Remus takes hold of his considerable length, slowly gudiing it inside Sirus.
“That’s it.” sirius shifts his hips, wrapping his legs around Remus’s back. They fuck, slowly, on the floor of the potion master’s office, with their two best mates passed out on the floor beside them. They fuck and kiss, sweat gathering on remus’s chest and falling in small droplets onto Sirius’s.
Remus nudges his nose at Srius’s jaw, encouraging him to turn his head, allowing Remus access to his neck as they fuck. He licks up Sirius’s neck, sucking his earlobe into his mouth before whispering, “You semll like them,” his teeth grazed against Sirius’s skin, lightly, his voice practically a growl as he added, “But you’re mine,”
“You like it,” Sirus rasps, his voice jostled by Remus pushing into him. “You like smelling them on me.”
“Mm… I like this. Like cliaming you back, after. Remind you who you belong yo.” His teeth nipped along Sirius’s collarbone.
“Make me yours, Moony. Mark me. Come inside me.” sirus brings his hand to his cock, lick between their bodies, and takes hold of himself.
Remus’s hips snap back and forth wfildly and his hand comes up to tanlge in Sirius’s hair. “Tell me. Tell me who you belong yo.”
Sirius works his hand in time wiht Remus’s thrusts. “Yours, Moony. I’m yours. Your dog. Your boy. YOur man. Never have I--never have I ever been anyone’s the way I’m yours. Yours, Remus.” Sirius loses the last word to a gasp as his thighs tighten, his balls draw up behind the root of his cock and he comes, his head knocking back agaisnt the floor and Remus grinding into him, pleasure hot between them, slick on their bodies, spilled in his hand.
“Mine,” Remus growls before singking his teeth into Sirius’s shoulder, grinding down into him as his orgasm tears through him. When the final treminrs cease, Remus collapses atop Sirius, gently kissing and licking as the bite mark on his shoulder.
Sirus throws back his head, shivering as Remus’s tongue works over him, eddies of pleasure ripp;ling over his skin like echoes of his earlier orgasm. He presses his hands to Remus’s back, wanting to keep their bodies joined as long as possible, but at last Remus heaves a sigh and rolls off Sirius, nuzzing in beside him.
Remus props himself up slightly, looking around the room at discarded clothes and sleeping bodies, sighing heavily. “Think we dhouls… tidy up a bit?”
Sirius swings himself around in an arc, bringning his head to Remus’s cock. He sucks the tip into his mouth, presses the spent softness between his lips and sucks the last strains of come lingering there.
“That’s tidy enough for me,” he says. “Shall we kip for a bit? Felix Felices lasts a whole night, which mean’s Peat’s buond to wake up before Slughorn comes in to the office.” He grabs James’s discardes shrit fro the floor and wads it into a pillow. “C’mere, Moony,” ha says.
“Okay,” Remus mumbles sleepily, curling up against SIrius. “And then I get to claim tou all over again, after. Right?”
“I’m so lucky,” Sirius answers, and passes out in Remus’s arms.
THE END!!!!