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firewhiskeyfic2023-08-22 07:57 am
torino10154) wrote in firewhiskeyfic2023-08-22 07:57 am
Entry tags:
ENTRY #4
Title: Sex onna BEach
Author:oldtoadwoman
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) YES
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Harry Potter: Minerva McGonagall, Pomona Sprout, Horace Slughorn
Challenge/Prompts used: Yahtzee!
Summary: Hogwarts is closed for the summer and the professors have to go somewhere
Rating/Warnings: Teen? my apologies, this was practically gen aside from some swearing, I have failed to smut
Word count: 1,000
Author's Notes (if any): I love everyone in this bar! (Look, I don't know if this timeline makes any sense. I just googled a bucnh of stuff and this is what seemed to wwork.)
"Yoohoo!" Pomona Sprout waved her giant straw hat to get Minvera's attention. It was unncessacary.
Even on a beach full of American tourists, Pomona Sprout in a floral bikini stood out.
Minerva was wearing a very tasteful striped one-piece that covered her neck to kneews. For reasons unclear to Minerva, she was still getting a lot of sideeye from the Muggles on the sand. Pomona Sprout and Horace Slughorn, on the other hand, were getting the opposite of side-eye as everyone desperately tried to avert their gaze and claw out their memories if they averted their eys too late.
Minerva maintaned a steady eye contact and did not even acknoweldge to herself how she knew that LSughhorn was wearing a Speedo.
It had not been possible for Minerva to use a portkey to travel to a beach full of Muggles so she had to make do with portkey-ing to at eh lost louggage office of a conventient railway station and taking the train the rest of the way to the beach.
Minerva MacGonnagle tolerated trains. Trains, at least, felt traditionals. She would nt have with automobles or airpoplanes. SLlughorn tried to convince her that "business class" was not as horrible as it sounded and that flying in was part of the experience, but Minerva held firm on thatpoint, even as she was forced to surrender to a local taxicab to make the final mile to the beach.
A sunny tropical vacation was not actually anything Minerva looked forward to. (Minerva remained far more comfortable in sweater weather given the choice of locales. A hot cup of tea held far more alure than any iced tropical conconqtion.) Ideally, she could comfortably stay at Hogwart's year round. However Hogwarts, needed to be shut down onece a year for an annual airing out, least the magical hormoens that lingered in the halls build up to dangerous levels. (The headmaster in 1903 had experimented with summer school and no one wanted a repeat of that. There were classrooms in the south wing adjacent to the old gymnasium taht still had to be boarded up. The gymnasium itself had been officially replaced with a Maths Department on the school floorplan and since absolustley no onen was interested in finding out what "Maths" was, few were aware of the smouldering void in reality that actually exsted--failed to exist?--therein.)
Minerva made her way to Slughorn and Pomon,a, tugging her luggage effortlessly behind her on a rope for show. (The luggage was well trained and ulnikely to wander off unleashed, but Minerva convinced it to tollerate a collar for appearances's sake.) She then went through the motions of setting up her blankeet and umbrella, her wand tucked discretely beneath a large fluffy towel doing the actual heavy lifting wth a flick of her rwrist.
"This part of the world is so lovely, isn't it?" Pomona said cheerfully, her cheeks already glowing dangersoulsy pink.
Minerva "mmm"d non-comittally, unwilling to admit that she was not entirely sure what part of the world they were in. Port-keyig did not rquire an advanced knowledge of geography. (This was fortunate as the door labelled Geography Department was double-barred adjacent to the smouldering former athletics wing.)
"I met some lovely people at my hotel," Slghorn added, "who recommended a local establishment renowned for their tacos." He pronounced the last word with exaggerated care and pride.
Minerva arranged herself into a canvas chais and the luggage settled in beside her, a lemonade provided at her elbow.
"They also recommended..." Slughorn trailed off and waggled his eyebrows at Pomna who giggled.
It was Pomona who finally continued. "Apparently, it's highly recommended that we try Sex on the Beach." There was more giggling.
Minerva sighed. She didn't undertand the reference, but she had been teaching adolescent wizards for too long to not recognize a joke when she heard one. The key was to never let on that you were shocked. "That seems unwise," she said, pointedly donning a pair of opague sunglasses. "I imagine the sand is quite abrasive."
Pomona squealed and her sunburnt skin turned an even brighter shade of cherry red.
Slughorn chuckled and explained, "It's a *drink*. It's just *ccalled* Sex on th eBeach. It's vodka and peach schnapps with a splash of fruit juice."
[Fun fact: Just googled this becuase I have no idea what goes in this drink. Did you know the mocktail version is sometimes called "Cuddles on the Beach"? That is the most adorable thing I've heard alld ay.]
"Why?" Minerva asked.
Pomona blinked at her. "Well, you can't hardly go wwrong with peach schnapps and fruit juice."
"Why," Minerva repeated, without cracking a smile, "is it called Sex on the Beach?"
"Oh, well, Muggles," Pomona said vaguely. "They like to name things silly names. For fun."
"Why not Shag in an Alley?" she asked, stonefaced, but keeping an eye out for Pomona'[s reaction which was, as expected, to splutter and squeak.
"I imagine that would be less schnapps and fruit juice and more something whiskey based," Slughorn suggested.
"Boink on a Bus?" Minerva suggested.
"Let's see, gin mixed with one of those caffeinated beverages in a can the students like so much."
"I think they're called electricity drinks," Pomona suggested, less flustered but still just as giggly.
"Fuck on a Ferris Wheel?" Minerva asked, voice as dry and steady as ever.
It was like ripping off a Band-Aid and so instead of giggling shyly, Pomona let out a hearty laugh. "I don't know what you'd make it out of, but it should taste like cotton candy."
"With just a hint of stale popcorn," Slughorn added.
"Screw in a Gymnasium?" Pomona suggested with an un-subtle wink.
Minerva's expression broke into a grin very briefly, but you had to be looking at just the right split second to notice.
"Oh, that's just pure adolescent hormones," Minerva said. "No added alcohol necessary."
Slughorn frowned in concentration, running a few theoretical numbers through his head, before asking, "You were both students the summer of 1903, weren't you?"
"Now whyever would you think that?" Sprout asked, the picture of innocence.
Slughorn just shooik his head. "When something bad happens, it's always you two."
Author:
oldtoadwomanI am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) YES
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Harry Potter: Minerva McGonagall, Pomona Sprout, Horace Slughorn
Challenge/Prompts used: Yahtzee!
Summary: Hogwarts is closed for the summer and the professors have to go somewhere
Rating/Warnings: Teen? my apologies, this was practically gen aside from some swearing, I have failed to smut
Word count: 1,000
Author's Notes (if any): I love everyone in this bar! (Look, I don't know if this timeline makes any sense. I just googled a bucnh of stuff and this is what seemed to wwork.)
"Yoohoo!" Pomona Sprout waved her giant straw hat to get Minvera's attention. It was unncessacary.
Even on a beach full of American tourists, Pomona Sprout in a floral bikini stood out.
Minerva was wearing a very tasteful striped one-piece that covered her neck to kneews. For reasons unclear to Minerva, she was still getting a lot of sideeye from the Muggles on the sand. Pomona Sprout and Horace Slughorn, on the other hand, were getting the opposite of side-eye as everyone desperately tried to avert their gaze and claw out their memories if they averted their eys too late.
Minerva maintaned a steady eye contact and did not even acknoweldge to herself how she knew that LSughhorn was wearing a Speedo.
It had not been possible for Minerva to use a portkey to travel to a beach full of Muggles so she had to make do with portkey-ing to at eh lost louggage office of a conventient railway station and taking the train the rest of the way to the beach.
Minerva MacGonnagle tolerated trains. Trains, at least, felt traditionals. She would nt have with automobles or airpoplanes. SLlughorn tried to convince her that "business class" was not as horrible as it sounded and that flying in was part of the experience, but Minerva held firm on thatpoint, even as she was forced to surrender to a local taxicab to make the final mile to the beach.
A sunny tropical vacation was not actually anything Minerva looked forward to. (Minerva remained far more comfortable in sweater weather given the choice of locales. A hot cup of tea held far more alure than any iced tropical conconqtion.) Ideally, she could comfortably stay at Hogwart's year round. However Hogwarts, needed to be shut down onece a year for an annual airing out, least the magical hormoens that lingered in the halls build up to dangerous levels. (The headmaster in 1903 had experimented with summer school and no one wanted a repeat of that. There were classrooms in the south wing adjacent to the old gymnasium taht still had to be boarded up. The gymnasium itself had been officially replaced with a Maths Department on the school floorplan and since absolustley no onen was interested in finding out what "Maths" was, few were aware of the smouldering void in reality that actually exsted--failed to exist?--therein.)
Minerva made her way to Slughorn and Pomon,a, tugging her luggage effortlessly behind her on a rope for show. (The luggage was well trained and ulnikely to wander off unleashed, but Minerva convinced it to tollerate a collar for appearances's sake.) She then went through the motions of setting up her blankeet and umbrella, her wand tucked discretely beneath a large fluffy towel doing the actual heavy lifting wth a flick of her rwrist.
"This part of the world is so lovely, isn't it?" Pomona said cheerfully, her cheeks already glowing dangersoulsy pink.
Minerva "mmm"d non-comittally, unwilling to admit that she was not entirely sure what part of the world they were in. Port-keyig did not rquire an advanced knowledge of geography. (This was fortunate as the door labelled Geography Department was double-barred adjacent to the smouldering former athletics wing.)
"I met some lovely people at my hotel," Slghorn added, "who recommended a local establishment renowned for their tacos." He pronounced the last word with exaggerated care and pride.
Minerva arranged herself into a canvas chais and the luggage settled in beside her, a lemonade provided at her elbow.
"They also recommended..." Slughorn trailed off and waggled his eyebrows at Pomna who giggled.
It was Pomona who finally continued. "Apparently, it's highly recommended that we try Sex on the Beach." There was more giggling.
Minerva sighed. She didn't undertand the reference, but she had been teaching adolescent wizards for too long to not recognize a joke when she heard one. The key was to never let on that you were shocked. "That seems unwise," she said, pointedly donning a pair of opague sunglasses. "I imagine the sand is quite abrasive."
Pomona squealed and her sunburnt skin turned an even brighter shade of cherry red.
Slughorn chuckled and explained, "It's a *drink*. It's just *ccalled* Sex on th eBeach. It's vodka and peach schnapps with a splash of fruit juice."
[Fun fact: Just googled this becuase I have no idea what goes in this drink. Did you know the mocktail version is sometimes called "Cuddles on the Beach"? That is the most adorable thing I've heard alld ay.]
"Why?" Minerva asked.
Pomona blinked at her. "Well, you can't hardly go wwrong with peach schnapps and fruit juice."
"Why," Minerva repeated, without cracking a smile, "is it called Sex on the Beach?"
"Oh, well, Muggles," Pomona said vaguely. "They like to name things silly names. For fun."
"Why not Shag in an Alley?" she asked, stonefaced, but keeping an eye out for Pomona'[s reaction which was, as expected, to splutter and squeak.
"I imagine that would be less schnapps and fruit juice and more something whiskey based," Slughorn suggested.
"Boink on a Bus?" Minerva suggested.
"Let's see, gin mixed with one of those caffeinated beverages in a can the students like so much."
"I think they're called electricity drinks," Pomona suggested, less flustered but still just as giggly.
"Fuck on a Ferris Wheel?" Minerva asked, voice as dry and steady as ever.
It was like ripping off a Band-Aid and so instead of giggling shyly, Pomona let out a hearty laugh. "I don't know what you'd make it out of, but it should taste like cotton candy."
"With just a hint of stale popcorn," Slughorn added.
"Screw in a Gymnasium?" Pomona suggested with an un-subtle wink.
Minerva's expression broke into a grin very briefly, but you had to be looking at just the right split second to notice.
"Oh, that's just pure adolescent hormones," Minerva said. "No added alcohol necessary."
Slughorn frowned in concentration, running a few theoretical numbers through his head, before asking, "You were both students the summer of 1903, weren't you?"
"Now whyever would you think that?" Sprout asked, the picture of innocence.
Slughorn just shooik his head. "When something bad happens, it's always you two."