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firewhiskeyfic2022-10-04 09:36 am
torino10154) wrote in firewhiskeyfic2022-10-04 09:36 am
Entry tags:
ENTRY #12
Title: Nicholas and Petunia: A Conversation
Author:songquake
I am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) Yes. By a lot. And have been since we satrated doing this lo those many years ago.
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Petunia Evans Dursley, Lily EvansDursley Potter, Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington
Challenge/Prompts used: Mostly Bewitch? But in the past tense because what it really inspeireed in me was to maek Elizabeth montgomery a redhead and Dick York as James potter. Which I fear may mean het, but I haven’t started writing yet, so you never know!
Challenges (to cross off as I complete) :
Nearly Headless Nick
Godric's Hollow
Jack-o'-lantern
Graveyard
Harvest Party
Bewitch
Summary: If we imagine Lily Evans in the Samantha Stephens Role of Bewitched and then try to fit in the rest of the prompts. If there’s more plot I’ll add it later. Petunia Evans Dursley meets Nicholas de Mimsy-portpington. They talk.
Rating/Warnings: None, except the sad lack of porn.
Word count: 1438
Author's Notes (if any): I seem to be a Serious Writer who tries to do RESEARCH about hings whiel doing drunk!writing. Oops. And then I get more suober and tehn I hav t0 dirnk more. Here’s a link to the song that earwormed me tonight: https://youtu.be/su4FQTL7SZo. YOU GUYS, SAMANTHA WAS AN ANIMAGUS AND THEY SEEMINGLY FOOLOWED THE INTERNATIONAL STATUTE OF SECRECY.
Mod Note: Contains racial slurs.
It was a fancy dress party, after all, with lots of jack-o’l-anterns and bales of hay (though that didn’t seem too british, did it?) and the fact was that calling it a H.arvest party rather than a Halloween party or a Samhain party seemed to Lily to make it more… approachable for her sister. Since Petunia had yet to see their new home in Godric’s Ohllwo. (Yay! One paragraph in and I’ve knocked out three prompts! GO TEAM BST USE F PROMPT!)
Euphemia (who was much like that Eudora in the television show fromt eh US that on the DL exposed some of the difficulties of magical-muggle relations, though over there they called it No-maj or something else—actually, no-maj was even a slur over there and not fit for television, even if they were still happy using words like Injun and probably nigger too—ithe show was made in the 1960’s after all). (goes off to google)
---some time and another drink later—
I can’t figure out what kind of language the code people allowed when Bewiched was on. Alas. I assume the show was racist though. I ahvent actually seen an episode as an adult.
So. Lily Evans Pottter was hosting a Harvest Party with a fancy-dress theme at the new home she shared with James Potter and invited her dear sister Petunia. Petuna, much like the Endora of the show, does notapprove of the so-called “mexed mrriage,” though Lily pointed out repeatedly that it’s not a mixed marriage if SHE is magial an ddoes Petunia really want to share som much in common with people who calle themselved Death eaters?
Petunia sniffed at that.
She did come up to the party, though she sneered at the Halloween decorations and dressed as…well, she said that a costume was “beneath her dignity, and I’m only showing up because it’s proper to go to yoursissters’ party, Lily.”
Lily was dressed as a frog. There is no accounting fo taste/
In any event, Petunia was sat in a corner of a room that may have been a parlour if Lily’s home weren’t a run-down od cottage that she and James were in the proess of “fixing up”. Peturnia wasn’t sure, exactly, how the renovations were going so slowly, givent hey could just wave some wantds and make things go. But She supposed their magic (shuddre to even THINK The word) made people lazy. Justo one more reason to detst it and those who used it.
She jumped and gasped, though, when a person in a very convincing costume, complete with ruffcoming out of his doublet, passed through the wall. Spying her, he bowed.
“Sir Nicholas de Mimsey-Porpington, at your service!” he said.
“What on earth are you???” Petunia cried.
Nick wasn’t as put out as he might be. “It’s a fancy dress party, so I’ll answer but only if yYOU answer the same.”
“I’m a normal non-magical person,” Petunia sniffed. “No need for any fancy get up. My sister is hosting this party.”
“Well, Miss Normal, Non-Magical Person,” nick said, “ “I suppose I am dressed as the same, though from the fifteenth centuriy and not the twentieth. After all, this is what I would wear while serving the court of Henry the VI (I think that’s the right Henry).”
“Must you remain in character?” Petunia sniffed. She must have had some fall hay fever, what with the afrorementioned bales of hay.
“It’s not so much remaining in character, milady,” Nicholas repleied. “Though I suppose I outgt to remind you that your’e a ghost. I mean I AM a ghost. You seem very uch alive, still.”
“Indeed,” said Petunia. Tring not to sniff any more.
“Your costume, I imagine, is very well-researched! It looks like all those pieces belong together!”
Petunia looked down at her outfit and the author reaslised she needs to decide what year this is. Er. Lily finished Hogwarts in 1977? 1978? And Died in 1981, though I don’t imagine she is hosting this party whilst pregnant. So…. 1978. Lily is 18 to Petunia’s 20 or something. I don’t think JKR specified in the books what the age gap was, but I always assumed Petunia was a couple years older.
Except Petunia wouldn’t wear anything garish and disco-like to a party, right?
Petunia looked down at her outfit. Her off-white, knit dress with billowing sleeves and a high collar was appropriately demure, though it did show off a fair bit of leg as she sat. And her legs looked lovely in those wine-coolorued T-strap heels that always drove Vernon wild but were still almost-appropriate for blending in with the professional wife class.
“It’s not a costume,” she said.
“Neither is this,”said Nick, and grinned.
Petunia wasn’t clear why she was still talking to tehis strange, transluscent man who had come through a wall, claimed to serve at the court of a famous Kin g fo England (Petunia didn’t care to call heself a feminist, but she did thrill that she’d only knowna a Queen to sit atop the throne of the British Empire in her lifetime). She aslo wasn’t sure how it was she found this transluscent man so MANLY and attractive.
Perhaps it was the punch that ginger gentleman—Fabian?—had passed her when she walked by the refreshments talbe.
Tellme, she said, “how is it that you are HERE? If you served the court so long ago?”
Nicholas sighed. “Magic,” he said. “And an unfortunate inability to let go. I wanted to accomplish something—clearing my name? Helping the Muggle I’d wronged and been put to death for wronging. Or something. But nobody would let it go—or, rather, they thought they could move on once I was dead. But I couldn’t move on. Alas,” he sighed, “There is nothing so entrapping as a desire to be forgiven or see justice done after a person has been killed.”
“You KILLED someone?” Petunia said, aghast.
“Never!” Nick replied. “No, I was killed for trying to correct pooor Lady Grief’s teeth. Which I attempted clumsily but was not offered to opprotunity to make it right.”
Petunia rmemebered seeing aportrait of a woman with very large teeth, indeed, at the Tate. “oh dear,” she said.
“They weren’t quite TUSKS, mind,” Nick said defensively. “I was only thring to help!’
Please, never offer to help me,” Petunia rejoine.d
“Not that I could od much in my discorporeated state, wikht no magic able to affect the corporeal.”
“Thank God,” Petunia said. “There’s neough mischief going around—and my dear sister’s husbnad is in the middle of so much of it!”
Nick chuckeld. “Yes he has been, since he was a wee lad of eleven. But he’s settled enough, enough that Miss Lily has found him acceptable. She didn’t for years, you know.”
“But he does do things like… I don’t know. Move things aroudn so that I think I am going crazy! “ Petunia said. “And I think his mum does too.”
“Well, tht’s because theiryre’ posh arseholes, not because they are magic,” Nick said reasonably. “IT’s not as though magic makes us better peop;e/ it just makes it possible to be more efficient.”
Petuniapondered that.
“what about the nose thing? I’m so worried that soeone will be able to sneak up on me with it.”
“Nodse thing?”
Petunia’s eyebrs furrowed. “They’re more rrogressive in the staes, even have a television show aobut a faily with a witch and a non-magical person as her husband. Bu she can just wiggle her noes and magic happens!” Petunia siad. “She deosn’t even need to point a wand! How am I supposed to portect myself form a NOSE???”
“Hm.’ Nicholas pndered. “I’ve never actually seen anyone channel magic throught hteir nose. I suppose it is posssible, but emost magical types who don’t use a wand tend to use heir hands.” He thought. “And those arne’t many. Hell, if it weren’t true that hands and wands were the most efficient, I doubth old You-know-who would have done anything that would result in a sarficed nose!”
“HE HASD NO NOSE??” Petunia would have whispered, but I typed in all caps.
“So you see, the nose has nothing to do with the amount of trouglbe one can cause,” Nck held forth.
At this point,t eh author realized that she wasn’t going to get the raveyard prompt in, and also didn’t’ knwowhwere this tory was going. And also had no idea whether she was still typing actual words. So she decided to call it a night, and let you all imagine the rest.
Love,
______ (since I can’t tell my name or spoil the reveal).
Author:
songquakeI am of legal drinking age in my region: (yes/no) Yes. By a lot. And have been since we satrated doing this lo those many years ago.
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: Petunia Evans Dursley, Lily Evans
Challenge/Prompts used: Mostly Bewitch? But in the past tense because what it really inspeireed in me was to maek Elizabeth montgomery a redhead and Dick York as James potter. Which I fear may mean het, but I haven’t started writing yet, so you never know!
Challenges (to cross off as I complete) :
Jack-o'-lantern
Graveyard
Bewitch
Summary: If we imagine Lily Evans in the Samantha Stephens Role of Bewitched and then try to fit in the rest of the prompts. If there’s more plot I’ll add it later. Petunia Evans Dursley meets Nicholas de Mimsy-portpington. They talk.
Rating/Warnings: None, except the sad lack of porn.
Word count: 1438
Author's Notes (if any): I seem to be a Serious Writer who tries to do RESEARCH about hings whiel doing drunk!writing. Oops. And then I get more suober and tehn I hav t0 dirnk more. Here’s a link to the song that earwormed me tonight: https://youtu.be/su4FQTL7SZo. YOU GUYS, SAMANTHA WAS AN ANIMAGUS AND THEY SEEMINGLY FOOLOWED THE INTERNATIONAL STATUTE OF SECRECY.
Mod Note: Contains racial slurs.
It was a fancy dress party, after all, with lots of jack-o’l-anterns and bales of hay (though that didn’t seem too british, did it?) and the fact was that calling it a H.arvest party rather than a Halloween party or a Samhain party seemed to Lily to make it more… approachable for her sister. Since Petunia had yet to see their new home in Godric’s Ohllwo. (Yay! One paragraph in and I’ve knocked out three prompts! GO TEAM BST USE F PROMPT!)
Euphemia (who was much like that Eudora in the television show fromt eh US that on the DL exposed some of the difficulties of magical-muggle relations, though over there they called it No-maj or something else—actually, no-maj was even a slur over there and not fit for television, even if they were still happy using words like Injun and probably nigger too—ithe show was made in the 1960’s after all). (goes off to google)
---some time and another drink later—
I can’t figure out what kind of language the code people allowed when Bewiched was on. Alas. I assume the show was racist though. I ahvent actually seen an episode as an adult.
So. Lily Evans Pottter was hosting a Harvest Party with a fancy-dress theme at the new home she shared with James Potter and invited her dear sister Petunia. Petuna, much like the Endora of the show, does notapprove of the so-called “mexed mrriage,” though Lily pointed out repeatedly that it’s not a mixed marriage if SHE is magial an ddoes Petunia really want to share som much in common with people who calle themselved Death eaters?
Petunia sniffed at that.
She did come up to the party, though she sneered at the Halloween decorations and dressed as…well, she said that a costume was “beneath her dignity, and I’m only showing up because it’s proper to go to yoursissters’ party, Lily.”
Lily was dressed as a frog. There is no accounting fo taste/
In any event, Petunia was sat in a corner of a room that may have been a parlour if Lily’s home weren’t a run-down od cottage that she and James were in the proess of “fixing up”. Peturnia wasn’t sure, exactly, how the renovations were going so slowly, givent hey could just wave some wantds and make things go. But She supposed their magic (shuddre to even THINK The word) made people lazy. Justo one more reason to detst it and those who used it.
She jumped and gasped, though, when a person in a very convincing costume, complete with ruffcoming out of his doublet, passed through the wall. Spying her, he bowed.
“Sir Nicholas de Mimsey-Porpington, at your service!” he said.
“What on earth are you???” Petunia cried.
Nick wasn’t as put out as he might be. “It’s a fancy dress party, so I’ll answer but only if yYOU answer the same.”
“I’m a normal non-magical person,” Petunia sniffed. “No need for any fancy get up. My sister is hosting this party.”
“Well, Miss Normal, Non-Magical Person,” nick said, “ “I suppose I am dressed as the same, though from the fifteenth centuriy and not the twentieth. After all, this is what I would wear while serving the court of Henry the VI (I think that’s the right Henry).”
“Must you remain in character?” Petunia sniffed. She must have had some fall hay fever, what with the afrorementioned bales of hay.
“It’s not so much remaining in character, milady,” Nicholas repleied. “Though I suppose I outgt to remind you that your’e a ghost. I mean I AM a ghost. You seem very uch alive, still.”
“Indeed,” said Petunia. Tring not to sniff any more.
“Your costume, I imagine, is very well-researched! It looks like all those pieces belong together!”
Petunia looked down at her outfit and the author reaslised she needs to decide what year this is. Er. Lily finished Hogwarts in 1977? 1978? And Died in 1981, though I don’t imagine she is hosting this party whilst pregnant. So…. 1978. Lily is 18 to Petunia’s 20 or something. I don’t think JKR specified in the books what the age gap was, but I always assumed Petunia was a couple years older.
Except Petunia wouldn’t wear anything garish and disco-like to a party, right?
Petunia looked down at her outfit. Her off-white, knit dress with billowing sleeves and a high collar was appropriately demure, though it did show off a fair bit of leg as she sat. And her legs looked lovely in those wine-coolorued T-strap heels that always drove Vernon wild but were still almost-appropriate for blending in with the professional wife class.
“It’s not a costume,” she said.
“Neither is this,”said Nick, and grinned.
Petunia wasn’t clear why she was still talking to tehis strange, transluscent man who had come through a wall, claimed to serve at the court of a famous Kin g fo England (Petunia didn’t care to call heself a feminist, but she did thrill that she’d only knowna a Queen to sit atop the throne of the British Empire in her lifetime). She aslo wasn’t sure how it was she found this transluscent man so MANLY and attractive.
Perhaps it was the punch that ginger gentleman—Fabian?—had passed her when she walked by the refreshments talbe.
Tellme, she said, “how is it that you are HERE? If you served the court so long ago?”
Nicholas sighed. “Magic,” he said. “And an unfortunate inability to let go. I wanted to accomplish something—clearing my name? Helping the Muggle I’d wronged and been put to death for wronging. Or something. But nobody would let it go—or, rather, they thought they could move on once I was dead. But I couldn’t move on. Alas,” he sighed, “There is nothing so entrapping as a desire to be forgiven or see justice done after a person has been killed.”
“You KILLED someone?” Petunia said, aghast.
“Never!” Nick replied. “No, I was killed for trying to correct pooor Lady Grief’s teeth. Which I attempted clumsily but was not offered to opprotunity to make it right.”
Petunia rmemebered seeing aportrait of a woman with very large teeth, indeed, at the Tate. “oh dear,” she said.
“They weren’t quite TUSKS, mind,” Nick said defensively. “I was only thring to help!’
Please, never offer to help me,” Petunia rejoine.d
“Not that I could od much in my discorporeated state, wikht no magic able to affect the corporeal.”
“Thank God,” Petunia said. “There’s neough mischief going around—and my dear sister’s husbnad is in the middle of so much of it!”
Nick chuckeld. “Yes he has been, since he was a wee lad of eleven. But he’s settled enough, enough that Miss Lily has found him acceptable. She didn’t for years, you know.”
“But he does do things like… I don’t know. Move things aroudn so that I think I am going crazy! “ Petunia said. “And I think his mum does too.”
“Well, tht’s because theiryre’ posh arseholes, not because they are magic,” Nick said reasonably. “IT’s not as though magic makes us better peop;e/ it just makes it possible to be more efficient.”
Petuniapondered that.
“what about the nose thing? I’m so worried that soeone will be able to sneak up on me with it.”
“Nodse thing?”
Petunia’s eyebrs furrowed. “They’re more rrogressive in the staes, even have a television show aobut a faily with a witch and a non-magical person as her husband. Bu she can just wiggle her noes and magic happens!” Petunia siad. “She deosn’t even need to point a wand! How am I supposed to portect myself form a NOSE???”
“Hm.’ Nicholas pndered. “I’ve never actually seen anyone channel magic throught hteir nose. I suppose it is posssible, but emost magical types who don’t use a wand tend to use heir hands.” He thought. “And those arne’t many. Hell, if it weren’t true that hands and wands were the most efficient, I doubth old You-know-who would have done anything that would result in a sarficed nose!”
“HE HASD NO NOSE??” Petunia would have whispered, but I typed in all caps.
“So you see, the nose has nothing to do with the amount of trouglbe one can cause,” Nck held forth.
At this point,t eh author realized that she wasn’t going to get the raveyard prompt in, and also didn’t’ knwowhwere this tory was going. And also had no idea whether she was still typing actual words. So she decided to call it a night, and let you all imagine the rest.
Love,
______ (since I can’t tell my name or spoil the reveal).