What. This is SUCH GOOD dirty!bad!wrong--it's the shit I live for, the love that dare not speak its name, the desire wrapped up in the shame. Unf. And so well written. I mean, yeah, there was the narration switch that you did in the middle, but you MADE IT WORK. And it was so freaking hot. I'll be in my bunk, as we used to say.

I think this can easily clean up for non-FWF posting.