Oh I have no idea how to comment on this! I don't know anything about poetry, but this is just beautiful and full of so much gorgeous imagery, and I love how you take this moment and you tell a whole story here with so few words.

One of my favorite bits: Her top has slithered off her shoulder,
a snakeskin sloughing.
Underneath, she shines.
That shoulder, pink,
Angelic dirty flower, iris,
Petals taking rain like lips.

No one should look so pretty
while being so vile.


And the end. Falling up. OH I just love that. I love this!! How did you write this while drunk???? I'm so confused and wish you could share your magic!